Perks of having a "boy family"

thunderstorm

Wed, May 02 2018, 9:12 pm

amother wrote:

boy singing shabbos zemiros in harmony at the shabbos table!

This can be done with the girls too. I've heard gorgeous family zemiros sung by an entire family with stunning harmony, to the point that I got all teared up. Girls can sing with their brothers.

flowerpower

Wed, May 02 2018, 9:38 pm

They're out more than girls during the week
They go to shul on Shabbos
They are easier to shop for
They don't need to explain every detail of what happened at the park or at the party they just attended
They call home from camp once a week because they suddenly remember they actually have a family that misses them.

amother

Taupe

Wed, May 02 2018, 9:57 pm

amother wrote:

In case you do have a girl, a lot of the negative characteristics you apply to girls are not true. My girls aren’t whiny, inflexible, overly touchy, or crybabies at all.

And the other way as well. My boys are very whiny and kvetchy and cling at my skirt all the time.

gold21

Thu, May 03 2018, 12:00 am

flowerpower wrote:

As to your fourth point- not only do they not feel the need to explain every detail of everything, they davka don't like getting into the details. Everything is understated and undramatic and not a big deal. (Son: "Ma, I was out playing ball and saw Shmerel from next door get into a huge fight with Berel from down the block and Shmerel went home crying and bleeding"- Me: "omg! What happened? Is everyone ok? Were you involved at all?" Son: "ya, Ma, everything is fine" WALKS OFF)

Lol LOL

amother

Crimson

Thu, May 03 2018, 2:47 am

We have only boys, ka'h.

They had school every Sunday
I didn't have to join any carpool ... avoided all those politics
(They say to know about a person .... b'kis, b'ka'as, b'Kos .... b'karpool!! Trust me! You want to dig for shidduchim find out who they carpooled with)
We were a family of penguins, I'm not a fashionista ... worked perfectly for me!
Family trips were enjoys by pretty much everyone

My DIL (one so far ...) is amazing, she's my 'first daughter'. Her parents raised her through the hard part... we have all her nachas!

Raisin

Thu, May 03 2018, 5:03 am

thunderstorm wrote:

We've had a boy family for the last 17 yrs and I'm pregnant now and don't know what I'm having. Here are great perks to having boys.
1. I don't have kvetchy , whiny kids
2. We are not busy with play dates and social lives constantly. It's much rarer than with girls
3. My kids ALWAYS have school, even on snow days etc. the have minimal vacations and don't have off entire weeks before Yom Tov.
4. Before big yomim tovim I don't have the stress of "shopping" all over town for the new seasons clothes. They are happy with their white shirts and black or navy suit. Nothing changes.
5. Getting dressed every day is just a shirt and pants and they are not pitchechy about what they are wearing .
6. They are much more flexible in general.
7. They give me my space and I don't have to ask them to stop pulling me, touching me, hugging me etc. the way I see other girls do to their mothers
8. They are amazing helpers and physically are able to do all the things I don't have energy to do.
9. They don't cry and get all emotional over silly stuff or .
10. I'm a boy fan, always was and always will be.

If your boys are not whiny, kvetchy, always asking for playdates, emotional over silly stuff, good helpers - no reason why your daughter won't be too!

I have both girls and boys and the girls are not more kvetchy, whiny, emotional or clingy then the boys.

Raisin

Thu, May 03 2018, 5:07 am

Advantages of boys over girls.

Clothes shopping is easier. Not because boys are not picky - my sons are much pickier in some ways - but because of tznius. My girls are very unfussy about clothes and once they are teens and care more they shop on their own - my sons don't! But tznius clothing is always tought o find where I live.

Otherwise not much. They all have their own personalities.

DVOM

Thu, May 03 2018, 6:38 am

I have only boys.

I don't know that one gender has an advantage over the other, but having no girls, I don't have anything to compare it to.

Here are things I love about my boys that seem to me to be particularly boyish:

When I scream that there is a bug they all come running to kill it for me.

Seeing them react so nonchalantly to bloody knees and elbows ("Yummmy! Blood! Relax, mom!")

Watching them get off the bus-drop their knapsacks-give me a kiss-grab dinner with one hand and their helmets with the other-hop on their bikes in one fluid movement.

Watching them get totally engrossed in building lego for hours and hours and hours.

Hearing them talk to their friends on the phone. I can't even imitate it for you. It's just so funny and macho and boyish

Watching them making 'clubs'

Seeing them fight fiercely one minute and be back to best buddies next minute. I always want them to have a postmortem of the fight, discuss what to do differently next time, apologize... they look at me blankly: "its already over mom!"

Seeing them stick up for each other in a fight

Seeing them act very loving and caring towards each other, particularly to their youngest brother and to babies in general. It makes me feel like I'm succeeding in nurturing their feminine side and raising some lucky girl a really good husband and dad.

**Editing to add more stuff to the list!

Last edited by DVOM on Thu, May 03 2018, 8:00 am; edited 2 times in total

thunderstorm

Thu, May 03 2018, 7:23 am

amother wrote:

My family is pretty evenly balanced, so I can't comment on having a boy family, but I found it kind of sad that so many posters are glad that their kids are out of the house a lot. I hope I'm missing the joke.

One of the biggest stresses of a working mom and even non working moms is when the kids have weeks off during the year, before Yom Tov, midwinter, Chanukah, snow days etc and every Sunday. It is very difficult having to work and having to make arrangements for the kids to be taken care of during those times. Since your kids are still young, you haven't experienced it yet. But I see the difference in my own office and in my own family how other mothers struggle with this more than I do because the girls are off on all those days. Nobody is saying they don't like to spend time with their kids. You can't understand this until you have experience with it.

DVOM

Thu, May 03 2018, 7:31 am

amother wrote:

BOYS HAVE SCHOOL ON SUNDAY. YAY!!!

I also really appreciate that my boys have school on Sunday and have more school before yomim tovim. It's not (as amother up thread insinuated) that I don't like spending time with my kids. But I work full time and having them home for over a week before Pesach and a week for midwinter and a week for this and that would be very hard for me. Sunday is a long day. I like that they have a half day of school on Sunday. It gets them up and out of the house, gives the day some structure. For me this is definitely a perk of having boys.

amother

Blue

Thu, May 03 2018, 7:47 am

thunderstorm wrote:

I don't know where you got the idea that I'm young. I'm actually a grandmother already, but my memory is not so far gone that I don't remember scrambling for child care. No need to condescend.

What surprised/saddened me was the mothers who are thrilled that the boys aren't home on ordinary Sundays. Sure, it's hard to get all your errands done when everyone is home. But you bet that my kids knew how much I enjoyed spending time with them.

thunderstorm

Thu, May 03 2018, 7:54 am

amother wrote:

I'm sorry I may have confused you with a different poster. I did not mean to be condescending. I actually felt like you were being judgmental. And yes, my boys have school an entire Sunday and it is the best thing for them and for me and for my DH. It gives us all structure and a schedule. Sunday is not a day off for us all. And we spend lots of time together Friday and Shabbos as well as after school. My kids know I love them and love to spend time with them.

DVOM

Thu, May 03 2018, 7:57 am

amother wrote:

I'm finding your posts to be condescending and judgmental. Perhaps you don't mean them this way.

My boys are very aware that I love to spend time with them and that being their mom is my greatest joy. I also really appreciate that they have a half day of school on regular Sundays.