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Are your bedrooms always clean?
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amother




Aqua


Post  Wed, Dec 05 2018, 4:27 pm
amother wrote:
Amother aqua, yes lots of women on here are messy and married. But look at all threads where the women are complaining that their husbands are upset because their house is messy.


Many of those husbands in those threads are control freaks who complain even when the house is clean. The issues in those particular threads tend to be more about the husbands vs cleaning ability. Often the type of man who complains is the type who is never satisfied with what the wife does, including if she has a high standard of cleaning.

My husband and I both clean up around the house. There is no expectation from him that I do it all. He also doesn’t care whether the bed is made although I prefer when the duvet looks neat after it has been aired. I couldn’t give a hoot what other people prefer/get around to doing in their own bedrooms.
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shabbatiscoming









  


Post  Wed, Dec 05 2018, 4:29 pm
amother wrote:
Shabbatiscoming, not making the beds does make one a slob.
im sorry, but, what???????
That is YOUR opinion. My house is kept neat and put together. But my bed isnt made, now im a slob? No, again, thats you opinion. And I feel bad for you that that one thing makes you think one is a slob.
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shabbatiscoming









  


Post  Wed, Dec 05 2018, 4:32 pm
amother wrote:
Amother aqua, yes lots of women on here are messy and married. But look at all threads where the women are complaining that their husbands are upset because their house is messy.
then the problem is so cery obviously the husband's expectations. In no marriage is it the wife's SOLE responsibility to keep the home from being messy. Husband can and should fo their part too.
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amother




Copper


Post  Wed, Dec 05 2018, 4:36 pm
I did not say it's the wife's sole responsibility to keep the home clean. I said that we have to teach our kids, boys and girls alike, to make their beds and put away their stuff, basic adult responsibilities.
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amother




Aqua


Post  Wed, Dec 05 2018, 4:45 pm
amother wrote:
I did not say it's the wife's sole responsibility to keep the home clean. I said that we have to teach our kids, boys and girls alike, to make their beds and put away their stuff, basic adult responsibilities.


I’ve taught my kids that. Some kids like to make their beds, some don’t. I personally don’t enforce bed making. My kids are all different. Just like the IMAs here. I choose to enforce messy room=no friends upstairs as that is a negative consequence of a messy room. Conversely I don’t see any negative consequences to having an unmade bed. (Aside from name calling from IMAs who erroneously believe that having a made bed is essential.)
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tf









  


Post  Wed, Dec 05 2018, 5:15 pm
Neah!!! Never clean. Only my teenage dd room is clean. It's not even on my to-do list. Couldn't care less because if I would it would not even propel me to clean. It would only hurt my mental health. My priorities are different than most people and I'm not even ashamed to say it even to people I know. The only person it bothers is my mil. Too bad😍😍😍
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mum22









  


Post  Wed, Dec 05 2018, 5:24 pm
Can we acknowledge how we all want to bring our kids up the same. We all want our children to be considerate of others, respectful of ppls differing abilities, responsible, someone who brings out the best in others, compassionate, responsible, honest and so on.
We wouldn’t want our kids arguing over unmade beds. So please can we all stop and behave in the manner you would like your kids to.
We all have different abilities, different values and mindsets.
We can be honest about our strengths and admit we are good at many things but not housekeeping. And accept others with their flaws the way we wish to be accepted.
We each have our own standards, teaching our children to be responsible and easy to live with is what’s important.
So teach your children to clean up after themselves, and to be a supportive spouse to their tidy or messy partners.
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amother




Copper


Post  Wed, Dec 05 2018, 5:33 pm
tf, you never clean or you never straighten up? Clean and neat are 2 different things. If the rooms are dirty you never clean???
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tf









  


Post  Wed, Dec 05 2018, 5:35 pm
amother wrote:
tf, you never clean or you never straighten up? Clean and neat are 2 different things. If the rooms are dirty you never clean???

Oh. Sorry. Before Shabbos I have cleaning help for 5 hrs.
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hannabanana









  


Post  Wed, Dec 05 2018, 9:19 pm
Only on Wednesday after the cleaning lady leaves.
I have a sis who’s house is usually clean. but I know she stands on her kids head when they eat, go to sleep. She claims here kids are trained already.

Anyway, was gonna post this earlier, before this thread turned nasty with neats versus slobs..

Just wanted to add, I clean all day every day and my house is not spic in span always. I find this to be a silly topic as no to ppl can be compared, for sure no to familys can be compared! Everyone is in a different situation. Can’t put side to side a family with 4 kids ages 7-16 and one with 5 kids 1.5 - 9
Also matters how much help you get from the hubby, and lots of other factors.. and goes without saying, a non toddler home to a toddler home?
I mean, come on!
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amother




Babyblue


Post  Wed, Dec 05 2018, 9:50 pm
amother wrote:
Obviously there are different expectations for a one year old than a teen.

How often do you come home at midnight before school the next day?

When you give attention to the rooms, the clutter doesn't build up. You actually spend less time keeping a room neat than having a massive shabbos cleanup. I don't spend more than ten minutes a day keeping my home heat and organized. Eveyone does their share.

Aren't you at all concerned with raising your children to have neat houses themselves? I think there are more problems from sloppy spouses than neat ones. I never read complaints that my husband is too neat. He makes his bed daily and puts his dirty clothes in the hamper. Even in this thread, sloppy spouses frustrate the other spouse. It is normal menschkite to be considerate of those you live with.

Answering to amother seafoam:
Because not everyone lives the perfect life. ok. some people have unpredictable lives. they have kids with special needs that don't clean after themselves or they're pregnant and its hard to get around doing stuff or so many other things that make beds not being made or toys staying on the floor or dishes in the sink. yes, I'd love to live that perfect life, but reality is that that is not what Hashem wants from me right now & I'm happy if I get to see my bed at all at night. who cares if the blanket is neat or not?
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amother




Linen


Post  Thu, Dec 06 2018, 2:23 am
Iymnok wrote:
Do people really expect beds to be made all the time?
It is actually more sanitary to leave the covers back to air out the sheets.


I love you.
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amother




Indigo


Post  Thu, Dec 06 2018, 2:55 am
Interesting read this thread. I never knew not making beds is an option...
How does it feel to go j to bed at night with a crumpled bed from last night Banging head Confused
My kids all make their own bed and pack away their stuff. Just like mode Ani, getting dressed, making beds is part of routine. And if one is late or so.. I'll do it. Takes 2 seconds and the house looks tidy all day...
But I respect all other options out there... It's just a new eye opener for me...
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