Don’t touch my kid!

mommyla

Fri, Jan 18 2019, 11:18 am

I don't like when people (adults too!) touch my baby either, and she's not my first. I will firmly say (but with a smile) "please don't touch the baby. Thank you!" No explanations necessary. Sometimes I will explain (like to my kids' playdates who will be around for a while) that we don't want to give the baby germs, and that she puts her hands in her mouth and it could make her get sick.

If they continue, move away or pick up the baby and repeat yourself. I do it all the time. I can't understand why people think it's okay to touch someone else's baby, especially when they touch her hands - and then she promptly puts them in her mouth. Yuck.

amother

Dodgerblue

Fri, Jan 18 2019, 11:19 am

May you be zoche to never have your own special needs child. Though you are not guaranteed against it. By saying that you don't like a special needs to touch your child, you are bringing this blessing onto yourself.
I can understand if a mother doesn't appreciate others to touch their child, and you can say it in a sensitive way but you specifically mentioned being bothered a a SN child. Are you disgusted of a special Neshama touching your very special child?

MrsDash

Fri, Jan 18 2019, 11:27 am

amother wrote:

Btw, I remember a relative of mine who was always conscious that no one touch her childs face, she claimed that by touching it he gets eczema. What a silly statement.
This child grew up and is badly OTD.
It doesn't hurt the kid if someone (even a SN child) touches them.

What in the world... are you a crazy person?

Tzutzie

Fri, Jan 18 2019, 11:46 am

Op, I totally get the doctors office scenario.
I teach my kids from very young that in a doctor's office you touch as little as possible and no hands / thumb in mouth.

I usually keep them close by or on my lap reading them books, or showing them pictures of themsleves on my phone.....

But other than that? Humans aren't gross.
If I see my child doesn't like it, I'll say, "Sara doesn't like being touched" and that usually does it. But if my child is ok with it, why should it bother me?

Little kids interact by touching. It's just how they are. And children will get sick. And they will live.

Some children with special needs have a hard time with following directions or comprehension of social norms and are super friendly. If told in a very kind and loving way, I doubt the mother would be offended.

But seriously? Is it that terrible if I touch your child?
I touch children all the time, a pat, or my hand lovingly on the face. I've never have anyone tell me to stay away. Some children you can feel that they aren't so comfortable when you get close, so I stay away and I smile from the far.
(You can tell I love little kids and that my love language is touch. Lol.)

amother

Magenta

Fri, Jan 18 2019, 11:55 am

amother wrote:

Mrs Dash, no she is not a crazy person. OP comes across as rude and obnoxious. She "especially" doesnt want SN kids to chas veshalom touch her baby. OP makes it seem like SN kids are disgusting creatures.Theres a nice way of saying this.

You should work on your reading comprehension skills.

Especially special needs children: meaning, they touch more and understand less when asked not to touch and therefore op is asking about how to deal with “especially SN children”

I understand op very well as I have the same issue with this.

mommyla

Fri, Jan 18 2019, 12:40 pm

Tzutzie wrote:

Little kids interact by touching. It's just how they are. And children will get sick. And they will live.

Yes, they will get sick, and they will live iy"H, but I'm the one who has to be up at night rocking a miserable baby who can't breathe because of her cold. That she wouldn't have caught if a germy kid (or adult) hadn't touched her.

Tzutzie wrote:

But seriously? Is it that terrible if I touch your child?
I touch children all the time, a pat, or my hand lovingly on the face.

Please don't touch strangers' children. I for one do not appreciate it at all when people touch my children, especially babies, and especially their faces and hands. I don't know you and I'm sure you're a nice person, but I have no idea when you last washed your hands or if you're coming down with a cold (and that doesn't just go for *you* specifically, but for any *you* who touches my kids). And it just feels a little too familiar when strangers touch my kids, it weirds me out.

tymama

Fri, Jan 18 2019, 12:47 pm

My kids hate being touched by anyone except me and dh. So if someone even if parent or in-laws want to give a hug and they don’t want I just say , s/he dorsnt want to be touched now. I’m sorry if it offends people but too bad, my kids feeling comes first. I say this to kids who wander over and try to touch them

amother

Dodgerblue

Fri, Jan 18 2019, 1:17 pm

MrsDash wrote:

What in the world... are you a crazy person?

I happen to have a Gorgeous Special needs child, and feel op is very naive and rude by saying: I don't want special needs children to touch "my child".
If she would say, I don't like other children touching him/her, it would sound differently. Saying the words SN child bothers her sounds horrible. Not all special needs are very touchy and many average kids are very touchy of others. So watch your language.

flowerpower

Fri, Jan 18 2019, 1:34 pm

First of all, I don’t notice my kids ever touching other kids. If they would I would have them stop doing it gently. Usually it’s 1-2 year olds that touch other kids.

Second of all, your kid is exposed to way more germs than a random kid touching him. The handles in the park on the way down the slide are waaaaay germier. As are door handles you open when entering a store. Kids generally get sick when they are in school or day care and the air is full of germs and what not....

Third of all, what would irk me more is strange adults touching my newborns and infants. If you want to talk to him/ her then I have no issue. I had it many times in dept stores and malls.

Tzutzie

Fri, Jan 18 2019, 2:16 pm

mommyla wrote:

Don't worry. I'm pretty sure I won't ever get to touch your children. I dont walk uo to touch random children and we don't run in the same circles anyway.
I don't think any adult will randomly walk over to strange children and touch them.
But when I meet family or friends on the street, yea.
If I'm feeling sick I won't be coming too close to you either. (And probably be vegging on the couch anyway and not be out and about. Lol)

I have seen some people being very standoffish. I have a sil who's like that. Jwr kids are made of porcelain. And if anyone dares to play rough with her kids like kids sometimes do, they are wild animalistic kids. Even if it's her kids who want and do it. And no I won't be affectionate with her children. Then she'd be jelous when I give my other nieces attention.
To such poeple I say "I'm sorry our paths crossed"

P.s. I believe what op meant was that oftentimes SN kids don't understand when told not to touch. Not that she has a problem with their touch more than other non-SN kids.

mommyla

Fri, Jan 18 2019, 2:32 pm

Tzutzie wrote:

Apparently you have sechel. Not everyone does LOL

Yes, I’ve had adults come over randomly and touch my kids or breathe right in their faces. Not okay.

I’m not a crazy germaphobe and I definitely don’t treat my kids like porcelain, but I really don’t like people getting too close to my babies. They’re fragile!

It’s actually harder to ask a friend or relative to wash their hands before touching my baby. That’s when it gets awkward. Especially one in particular who doesn’t have the best hygiene and acts like I’m overreacting when I ask him to wash his hands before he touches my baby, those same hands that he just used to eat with, lick his fingers, and pick his nose Can't Believe It

MrsDash

Fri, Jan 18 2019, 2:34 pm

amother wrote:

You posted:

amother wrote:

I rest my case.