How much did your chassone cost?

Rappel

Tue, Feb 19 2019, 11:48 am

Fox wrote:

.

Prunella's MIL is also very into jewelry, and Prunella lists to the left and may be blinding onlookers in Yerushalayim as we speak. But I didn't include that in the cheshbon. I figure it's their problem if they spoil Prunella.

nicole81

Tue, Feb 19 2019, 12:45 pm

I got married in 2014. It was my second marriage, but it was way more beautiful and elegant than my first. We limited it to 100 guests and the whole thing cost 14k.

My first wedding was in a now defunct bargain Boro Park hall in 2003. With 300 people, the whole wedding cost 7500. The person who managed that hall now works out of 2 other spaces and although they're not amazing, he can pull off a very nice wedding for 25pp. NY has some of the most expensive venues, but there are also bargains to be had there, too.

amother

Purple

Tue, Feb 19 2019, 2:30 pm

14 years ago about $70k between the 2 sides for wedding night, furniture, linens, housewares, jewelry, sefarim, shadchan, vort, aufruf, sheva brachos.... The hall and catering itself was $11k (not including flowers, band, photographer).

amother

Slateblue

Tue, Feb 19 2019, 2:34 pm

amother wrote:

70k

Moderately nice wedding in the NY area down 200 people

Moderately nice?! You sure are spoilt.

[Amother Slateblue, how is your comment contributing to this conversation? —Rubber Ducky as mod]

amother

Seafoam

Tue, Feb 19 2019, 3:06 pm

It was a garden party. Family made food (I guess that was a couple hundred). We had flowers since it was a garden (free), my dress was rented (250), I did my hair and makeup, my friend took pictures. So I guess it was the food, the dress rental, the suit, my bouquet and my ring. Around 900$. Would recommend 10/10.

We didn't do gifts during the engagement. I got a ring of course but that was it. I had furniture because I had lived alone and the rest my husband made himself. My mom gave us loads of kitchen stuff aswell

amother

Seashell

Tue, Feb 19 2019, 3:17 pm

amother wrote:

Moderately nice?! You sure are spoilt.

No I’m not actually. I’m actually quite grateful. My wedding was NOT at all over the top. No one left my wedding saying it was the nicest/fanciest/etc they’ve been to, but if you get married in NY and don’t want to get married in a BP basement hall that’s what it costs.

Rachel Shira

Tue, Feb 19 2019, 4:39 pm

A couple years ago in NY, about 150-200 guests and I think it was about $20,000. My parents and my in laws split it evenly as far as I know.
I would have rathered a less traditional and less expensive situation such as a backyard wedding and been given some money as a gift instead. But that wasn’t an option.

ectomorph

Tue, Feb 19 2019, 5:28 pm

Fox did really well for a chicago wedding where to my understanding there are no takana choices.

nicole81

Tue, Feb 19 2019, 6:20 pm

amother wrote:

It really doesn't. There are a number of shuls with elegant halls and fantastic caterers that make beautiful events for a fraction of what you posted. There are definitely mid priced options (and even low priced non BP halls).

simba

Tue, Feb 19 2019, 6:32 pm

Fox wrote:

Prunella's MIL is also very into jewelry, and Prunella lists to the left and may be blinding onlookers in Yerushalayim as we speak. But I didn't include that in the cheshbon. I figure it's their problem if they spoil Prunella.

Shame she got their last boy. I wouldn’t mind a MIL like that!

amother

White

Tue, Feb 19 2019, 6:47 pm

Our wedding night cost £15,000
Approx 280 guests
Both parents split the cost.
My parents also paid for setting up apartment, wigs...
But DH parents paid just £7,500 for wedding night.

amother

Rose

Tue, Feb 19 2019, 6:50 pm

Just made a small wedding. 50k was higher end

amother

Cerulean

Tue, Feb 19 2019, 7:25 pm

Not a single real Boro Parker posted here. If they did, it would blow your minds.

15 yrs ago. I got married in what was then considered a moderately priced hall but with the amount of people, all the upgrades in decor, flowers, and extras the wedding itself was around 45k, split evenly on both sides. That didn't include gowns, hair and makeup, and sheva brachos outfits for my 4 siblings, mother, and myself which ran close to 20k, paid for by our side obviously. Bedroom and DR furniture was around 25k and furnishing the apt including linen and dishes start to finish was probably around 5k, split evenly by both sides. 3 shaitels and 2 shtreimelach were around 9k, split evenly. Shabbos sheva brachos in a hotel was around 65k, paid by us being the girls side. My diamond ring was 16k paid by the boys side but I have no idea how much the rest of the chosson and kallah gifts during the engagement cost.

Total waste of money IMO but if my parents and in laws were paying it had to be done their way. I know my parents refinanced their Boro Park house to pay for every one of our weddings then sold the house for a couple million when they were done.

amother

Slategray

Tue, Feb 19 2019, 7:26 pm

amother wrote:

Sweetie, we happily got married in BROOKLYN just about seven years ago. $10k approximately. Neither side had much $$. I paid an additional $500 out of pocket for the singer the night before my wedding because I felt it was lacking. I didnt love the hall, decor, flowers or food but it came from typical places and was wedding-like. It was too stressful to be involved in everything so I let my mother choose things since she wasnt happy with what I wanted anyways. Guess what, the music, singer and friends is what made my wedding awesome and I enjoyed it so much! (I am really not the party type!)

Things not included in wedding night? Each of us had under 1-2k to our names. I spent $300+ on tefillin bag set from my own pocket + 400 on kiddush cup + 125 of talis +125 or so on silk gartel ($1050 roughly) and after that another $500 as mentioned above on singer. I was left with almost nothing in bank but it wouldnt have happened otherwise. I couldnt ask my parents to buy it becuase It was oging to be another headache. (oh and I bought myself a Tehillim bec I didnt want my at the time Chosson to need to spend his money)

I didnt expect a diamond ring but I got one. Husband paid for wedding ring, hotel after wedding (we were out of towners and didnt get married where we were going to live), care rental and probably other things that I dont remember.

Combined, we had about $800 at the end of all of this and you know what? We lived! We got to our apartment and had beds + whatever household items the gemach gave (linen, towels, pots, knives, utensils) and our clothes. We started out buying super cheap table set and worked our way up from there.

We did not feel poor. We spent the money we had and always had what we NEEDED. There is so much "standard" these days that people dont see what the difference between luxury and NEEDS are.

I know my ultra chaseedish cousins dont have money and go to gemachs. But then their children have takana weddings & still have the italian furniture!!!! Where did the money for italian furtniture come from? That is redicilous for me and sets a very bad image, especially when people from that community come to ours and ask for tzedaka for hachnosas kallah.

Oh and nobody paid our rent. If you are old enough to get married, you are old enough to carry the responsibility to live as a couple along with whatever comes along with it. I was 18 and managed with all said above.

Grow up ppl... today 70k is not over the top. What will be for your kids? Are YOU going to have the means to support your (iyh many!) kids wedding night along + possibly other expenses if the standard goes up? At this rate Id say youd be lucky if it stays below 120k. For some that is a yearly salary, while for others that is a 2-4 year salary.

Librarian

Tue, Feb 19 2019, 7:54 pm

Boys side here - wedding only: music, flowers, photographer, badchan and liquor:$54,000. Total jewelry: $18000. Sheitle-$3000 Siddur, tehillim, machzorim, misc gifts:$1000. New York, "baalbatish"

Librarian

Tue, Feb 19 2019, 7:55 pm

Oh and dont forget the Aufruf! Kiddush and meals:$20000!!

Librarian

Tue, Feb 19 2019, 7:56 pm

It was cheaper for me to marry off my daughter including setting up her apartment!

amother

Mauve

Tue, Feb 19 2019, 8:09 pm

My sisters both made a few weddings.
I didn’t make any yet as my children are still young.
All takanah nights.
From start to finish $50,000 for the girls side.
That’s including Shabbos sheva brachos, setting up apt, Sheitals,gowns, housewares...
yeshivish but try to make it nice

Raisin

Tue, Feb 19 2019, 8:10 pm

Librarian wrote:

Boys side here - wedding only: music, flowers, photographer, badchan and liquor:$54,000. Total jewelry: $18000. Sheitle-$3000 Siddur, tehillim, machzorim, misc gifts:$1000. New York, "baalbatish"

Wow $54000 just for FLOPS and badchen?

No idea how much my wedding cost 20 years ago but almost certainly less then that including everything.

watergirl

Tue, Feb 19 2019, 8:16 pm

Librarian wrote:

Boys side here - wedding only: music, flowers, photographer, badchan and liquor:$54,000. Total jewelry: $18000. Sheitle-$3000 Siddur, tehillim, machzorim, misc gifts:$1000. New York, "baalbatish"

$18,000 for jewelry?!