Appropriate sleepwear for yeshivish teen girl

little neshamala

Tue, May 21 2019, 10:23 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Ok, here is another question...for those of you sending your teens to camp every summer, or seminary, how much emphasis is she putting on PJs? I do t remember them being the biggest deal to me, but are your daughters buying like five to eight pairs, and making sure they are exceptionally cute to fit in, or are a bunch of leggings and random big tshirts sufficient?

There is no real answer to this. Even within certain communities, locations and "type" there is still so much variety. Girls are not cookie cutter robots. Some care, some dont. Some place emphasis on cute pajamas, others donte. Some have 20 pairs, others have 3.

I would advise you to stop making hashkafic decisions based on what you hear other girls do, and decide based on what is good for your specific daughter's overall avodas Hashem.

(Personally, I see no reason to stifle her with pajama choices. Im yeshivish. Our girls sometimes want to feel a little "cool", they want to breathe a little. As long as it remains in the privacy of her room, this is a perfectly acceptable outlet.)

amother

Tue, May 21 2019, 10:33 am

Ok, thank you for the good advice, but I hear what the right thing is to do. I am really just interested in doing the right thing in guiding my daughter. Any more posts about not letting her be an individual are a little hurtful and feel like an unnecessary attack. I promise I am a reasonable, loving mother, and she is a lovely girl with a wonderful sense of individuality. Re the second question, I really just wanted a practical answer so I can budget appropriately for pots of expensive pajamas if they are necessary. I was not trying to force her to follow a herd mentality, that is the exact opposite of how we've raised her. Thank you all again for the excellent advice, but please be gentle.

amother

Tan

Tue, May 21 2019, 10:41 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Point taken, OP. Makes sense. You do sound like a mother who really just wants her daughter to be happy within the boundaries of normal.

In terms of cute sleepwear, that's probably up to your daughter. If she's into it, then see if you can find a few pairs. Don't get expensive pajamas. They can be cute and funky without costing more than a few bucks. Check out Amazon, I'm sure you can find some good stuff.

Last edited by amother on Mon, Jul 08 2019, 8:51 am; edited 1 time in total

amother

Ecru

Tue, May 21 2019, 11:00 am

Another Lakewood yeshivish family. My girls wear leggings and regular-sized tees or short-sleeved tees for sleeping. If they come downstairs and are walking around, we expect them to pull on a slinky and a zip-up. They do the same in camp if walking around the bunkhouse, since camps have rules about this.

Nothing massively expensive. I can usually find them leggings and tees on sale in places like Aeropostale, think tees under $5 and leggings maybe $7 or $8 each.....

amother

Tangerine

Tue, May 21 2019, 11:01 am

Op, You sound like a wonderful mother!
If you don't feel comfortable with her wearing tank tops (we're also yeshivish and I certainly wouldn't be too happy about it!) You can also offer to buy her cute and funky,colorful tshirts that cover a little more, that's what I did for my teenagers! They don't get to wear them otherwise so they're happy!
(Found mine in children's place and old navy...)

amother

Green

Tue, May 21 2019, 11:11 am

Speaking as a staff member in a yeshivish BY-type camp: The teen girls I see sleep in leggings and oversized or reg. sized t-shirts. Some have cute (appropriate) sayings on them and some are solid. They are expected to wear a slinky skirt until they get into bed and not to walk around the bunkhouse in leggings freely. As with every camp rule, most girls keep to it and some only when married staff comes around.

You sound like a great mother. I always look around to make sure dd fits in before I shop for certain things. We don't buy brand names because she is bh surrounded by simple, yeshivish girls to whom clothes don't matter too much, but I do like to make sure she doesn't stick out in a negative way.

groisamomma

Tue, May 21 2019, 11:17 am

amother [ Apricot ] wrote:

Is part of the problem here a lack of stores/businesses that sell appealing and tznius sleepwear for girls?

YES!!!!!

I have posted about this numerous times!

DD likes to wear long-sleeved nightgowns with crew necks that cover her collarbone. The only ones I found are somewhere around $50 in the Lingerie Shop. It's absolutely outrageous. Teen girls need several nightgowns and I don't even spend that much on her regular clothes!

As for shopping online, she's chunky and I hardly have luck shopping online for her. Some people posted links here (thank you!) and I've spent hours online shopping, ordering, and returning. Most are paper thin and look gross and transparent, and those we bought on Shein.com were one size too small but they wouldn't let us exchange because they don't take back sleepwear. So frustrating!

I'm about to give up and make her wear t-shirts and leggings although she really wants nightgowns. Mind you, I think she's the only kid in her bunk in a nightgown but I'd totally buy it if it was reasonably priced. $50 range for sleepwear is outrageous.

amother

Jetblack

Tue, May 21 2019, 11:23 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Thank you, that's what I thought and obviously am very comfortable with that. Why the need for short, tight, tiny t-shirt? I am so confused as her friends are not the ones pushing limits. If that is still the norm, who is she trying to impress?

Walmart and target have adorable t shirts and super comfy leggings in all colors

mommyhood

Tue, May 21 2019, 11:28 am

groisamomma wrote:

Is she ladies sizes? This nightgown is great and very well priced. The neckline might be a bit too open though it's higher in person than it looks online so maybe worth paying to alter. https://www.amazon.com/gp/prod.....;th=1

I'm surprised at all the posters ok with their girls wearing tank tops. I don't care what dd wears in her bed but outside of her room, which includes camp and friends homes, she needs more than that. I spent years in camp and went to seminary and no one wore tank tops.

amother

Orange

Tue, May 21 2019, 11:29 am

groisamomma wrote:

Oh, not sure if you posted once but I remember responding about the nightgowns in rock bottom. They are cute and come in large sizes and definitely not $50.

Sunny Days

Tue, May 21 2019, 11:30 am

groisamomma wrote:

Usually this time of the year the lingerie & dry goods stores run ‘camp nightgown’ sales for $15-20

naturalmom5

Tue, May 21 2019, 12:21 pm

pesek zman wrote:

You could tell her anything you want. Though not yeshivish I had a BY type education so of course I/we/she knows Hashem is everywhere. But are you trying to tell her that Gd doesn’t want her body to show, not even while asleep? Let her have this outlet: even if you didn’t need it maybe she does. Focus on Halacha and let her find her own chumros/sensitivities as she gets older

You don't understand whats in vogue now..

When the girl is single, its lets be nuns as much as possible..

Suddenly they get married, " and its , we're married, I'm clean, lets party"...

If you can still find it..

I strongly recommend reading " Gefen Poriya" by R Avr Blumenkrantz ztzl

pesek zman

Tue, May 21 2019, 12:27 pm

naturalmom5 wrote:

I may bot understand the gist of your comment. Are you suggesting that I need a refresher on the laws of TH?

naturalmom5

Tue, May 21 2019, 12:34 pm

PZ...

Actually it has nothing to do with with TH
In his sefer on TH, he devotes one chapter to haskafa in the home in general
Granted it, it's very controversial in this generation
He says that mother's and daughters should be wholesome at all times.
Skimpy PJs and other lewd garments have no place in a Jewish hone

forgetit

Tue, May 21 2019, 2:18 pm

Not for OP since you're looking for pjs, but a poster mentioned her issue with expensive nightgowns and Shein return policy:
Shein has real cute cotton dresses that can serve as comfy nightgowns. They are returnable, being that they are dresses and not sleepwear. I'd order a couple of sizes of same thing to see what fits best and then return. Good Luck.

Last edited by forgetit on Tue, May 21 2019, 2:35 pm; edited 1 time in total

pesek zman

Tue, May 21 2019, 2:21 pm

naturalmom5 wrote:

Thanks for the recommendation but I’m good. I’m sorry that you don’t agree with my opinion but it’s just that: MY opinion

dancingqueen

Tue, May 21 2019, 2:31 pm

amother [ Green ] wrote:

What’s wrong with the girls in an all girls bunkhouse wearing leggings around each other?

mommy3b2c

Tue, May 21 2019, 2:34 pm

pesek zman wrote:

Agree with this. She’s not breaking Halacha. Leave her be.

amother

Tan

Tue, May 21 2019, 2:53 pm

naturalmom5 wrote:

And Rabbi Blumenkrantz was a supreme machmir. Most people I know don't follow his psakim or hashkafa.

Last edited by amother on Mon, Jul 08 2019, 8:51 am; edited 1 time in total