Appropriate sleepwear for yeshivish teen girl

Mommyg8

Tue, May 21 2019, 8:43 pm

smileforamile wrote:

It doesn't mean that Hashem is literally there. It means that Hashem sees what you are doing- like עין רואה ואוזן שומעת וכל מעשיך בספר נכתבים. That does not mean that you need to be uncomfortable with what you wear when you go to sleep.

It's a sensitivity to be more careful, but it's definitely not required.

I'm going to look it up.

You can wear whatever you want when you're under the covers, I'm talking about walking around in whatever you'll be sleeping in, which many do.

And I understand that the nefesh hachaim discusses this that Hashem is not literally everywhere, but I think Hashem watching us everywhere is basically the same concept for most of us.

amother

Cyan

Tue, May 21 2019, 8:50 pm

mommyhood wrote:

Is she ladies sizes? This nightgown is great and very well priced. The neckline might be a bit too open though it's higher in person than it looks online so maybe worth paying to alter. https://www.amazon.com/gp/prod.....;th=1

I'm surprised at all the posters ok with their girls wearing tank tops. I don't care what dd wears in her bed but outside of her room, which includes camp and friends homes, she needs more than that. I spent years in camp and went to seminary and no one wore tank tops.

There was one girl in my bunk - BY chilled type camp- who wore skimpy shorts and tank top pjs. I remember thinking it was very odd and she was definitely one of the ‘cooler’ girls.

I went to several other camps and no one wore tanks. Some girls wore long shorts (the ones that hit over the knee)

Does ur dd expect to walk around in these? Does she share a room?

I would pick my battles but I would def stick to short sleeve tees for camp and no short shorts.

amother

Cerise

Tue, May 21 2019, 9:06 pm

Until I got married I slept in t-shirts (long or short sleeve depended on the weather) and either sweatpants or yoga pants (loose and knee length), again dependent on the weather. The t-shirts weren't particularly oversized either.

The skimpy pjs didn't appear until I was married.

amother

Orange

Tue, May 21 2019, 9:07 pm

groisamomma wrote:

Thanks. They are all either short sleeved with a very open neck, or an open neck that once I alter it the length of the nightgown will be above her knees. I'm really not being difficult on purpose. I would love to get her the ones from Jewish lingerie stores. Those are perfect for her (those that carry her size), but $50/piece is expensive.

Is this good for your dd?

https://www.amazon.com/Dorani-.....psc=1

naturalmom5

Tue, May 21 2019, 9:12 pm

Mommyg8 wrote:

I don't want to argue but... isn't it in the shulchan aruch? Shevisi Hashem linegdi samid. I'm really not understanding this thread. I only have big boys and I don't let them (rather my husband doesn't let them) wear whatever they want. Tznius has nothing to do with whether men are around or not, and even applies to men too.

I was wondering about that..

Al yomar hineni b chadrei chadarim mi roeni ki Hkbh molo kol ha aretz b cvodo

Shulchan Aruch OC 2.2

amother

Tan

Tue, May 21 2019, 9:15 pm

naturalmom5 wrote:

I was wondering about that..

Al yomar hineni b chadrei chadarim mi roeni ki Hkbh molo kol ha aretz b cvodo

Shulchan Aruch OC 2.2

Okay, I'll admit, I never learned this inside.

חדרי חדרים does usually mean your heart of hearts, but I won't go there, since again, I didn't learn it.

Last edited by amother on Mon, Jul 08 2019, 11:44 am; edited 1 time in total

naturalmom5

Tue, May 21 2019, 9:18 pm

Mommyg8 wrote:

I heard a talk from Rabbi Yaacov Haber about this. If I understand correctly, he contrasted the Tanya with a similar work by Ramchal known as "Adir BaMarom" or "Adir BiMromim." It's well-known that the Vilna Gaon thought highly of Ramchal.

"Tzimtzum" deals with the philosophical quandary that God is infinite, but He interacts with the physical world, which is finite. One side of the coin is that God "makes room" for anything else to exist, or else it wouldn't. The other side of the coin is that He allows some manifestation of Himself in the world as we know it. The question becomes, how real is that manifestation? Tanya believes in "tzimtzum gamur", absolute manifestation. Ramchal and the Vilna Gaon reject that.

If I recall correctly, Ramchal would say something to the effect of "every soul is Godly", but Tanya says "every soul is a piece of God" -- the danger here is the next step becoming "but some are more God than others." In light of the mess of Shabtai Zvi's messianic claims that were still in recent memory, the Vilna Gaon found this too dangerous.

aliavi

Tue, May 21 2019, 9:29 pm

groisamomma wrote:

Are you able to post the Amazon link? She doesn't fit into Old Navy's XL anymore. Thank you!

POSESHE Women's Plus Size Casual Plain Long Sleeve Simple T-Shirt Dress Royal Blue

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07G.....6NXNV

Something like this? I haven’t tried this item personally because we are on the opposite end of the spectrum but you get the idea.

amother

Orange

Tue, May 21 2019, 9:31 pm

groisamomma wrote:

Not for 1XL women size...😞...nothing in Lakewood. Maybe Brooklyn? If someone knows, I'll call the store and have someone buy it for me!

I think I found you a good nightgown for $29!!
https://thelingerieshopny.com/......html

There is a $10 coupon if you sign up to receive their emails... so I hope you can get it for $19??!!

amother

Tan

Tue, May 21 2019, 9:35 pm

amother [ Orange ] wrote:

I think I found you a good nightgown for $29!!
https://thelingerieshopny.com/......html

There is a $10 coupon if you sign up to receive their emails... so I hope you can get it for $19??!!

They don't have it in the right size Sad

Last edited by amother on Mon, Jul 08 2019, 11:43 am; edited 1 time in total

ra_mom

Tue, May 21 2019, 9:42 pm

groisamomma wrote:

YES!!!!!

I have posted about this numerous times!

DD likes to wear long-sleeved nightgowns with crew necks that cover her collarbone. The only ones I found are somewhere around $50 in the Lingerie Shop. It's absolutely outrageous. Teen girls need several nightgowns and I don't even spend that much on her regular clothes!

As for shopping online, she's chunky and I hardly have luck shopping online for her. Some people posted links here (thank you!) and I've spent hours online shopping, ordering, and returning. Most are paper thin and look gross and transparent, and those we bought on Shein.com were one size too small but they wouldn't let us exchange because they don't take back sleepwear. So frustrating!

I'm about to give up and make her wear t-shirts and leggings although she really wants nightgowns. Mind you, I think she's the only kid in her bunk in a nightgown but I'd totally buy it if it was reasonably priced. $50 range for sleepwear is outrageous.

I just bought this for someone. It's tznius and very soft.
https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d.....;th=1

Seashell

Tue, May 21 2019, 9:42 pm

groisamomma wrote:

Try totally her in CH. You can Facebook msg them, they ship.
They sell robes, nightgowns, regular clothes & maternity. I think a lot cheaper then thelingerieshop.

PurpleandGold

Tue, May 21 2019, 10:01 pm

smileforamile wrote:

Okay, I'll admit, I never learned this inside.

חדרי חדרים does usually mean your heart of hearts, but I won't go there, since again, I didn't learn it.

Chadrei chadarim literally means "innermost rooms," like the bedrooms. "Heart of hearts" is a more metaphorical interpretation. Shulchan Aruch is saying one cannot do/wear/behave however he wants, even in the privacy of his own room, because the honor of Hashem is everywhere.

amother

Tan

Tue, May 21 2019, 10:08 pm

PurpleandGold wrote:

I know what it means. It's just that when the phrase חדרי חדרים is used in the Rishonim, it more often than not refers to the heart of hearts, and not the literal innermost rooms.

I know what the Shulchan Aruch is saying. I just haven't been taught that this is true when you're going to sleep.

Well, I also learned that the chachamim were calling Kimchis a fool when they asked her about the kohanim gedolim, because that means that a bunch of them became tamei before Yom Kippur.

Again, I'm not saying that there isn't a strong sensitivity to be careful at all times. I was just never taught that halacha dictates what your pajamas are, especially if no one else sees them.

Either way, the reason I responded to OP not to make a big deal was nothing to do with hashkafa and everything to do with careful parenting of teenagers.

Last edited by amother on Mon, Jul 08 2019, 11:43 am; edited 1 time in total

groisamomma

Tue, May 21 2019, 11:41 pm

Ladies, thank you for posting links! The Amazon dress has a seam under the bust and she won't feel comfortable with it 😞. The button-down front one has a huge neckline and would need alterations, bringing that price up to the same $50 🙂.
There's only one that qualifies but it doesn't come in her size. 😞 We've long outgrown the teen nightgowns from the lingerie shop, although they were cute while she wore them.

Thank you for the idea of calling the store in Crown Heights. I'll try them I"H. I appreciate the help!!