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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Teenagers and Older children
Does dd teen 15yo has lock on her door
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amother
Sapphire


 

Post Fri, Jun 14 2019, 10:52 am
amother [ Cerulean ] wrote:
Who said anything about an “er○tic daytime m@sturbation session” here!? Good grief, get a grip! Why aren’t your DCs at school? And in vacation time, I would expect them to have better things to do outside the house. And yes the reason I said we need locks in my house is because I don’t want my toddler to keep bugging my teens, irrespective of what innocuous (or private) things my teens may be doing in their rooms!


I don't know if you were the poster who said that the kids need the locks to m@sterbate. I said that is sick. If they want to do that, they can do it in the dark.
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amother
Cerulean


 

Post Fri, Jun 14 2019, 10:55 am
ectomorph wrote:
Still too dangerous. In a fire, the electricity won't be working and it takes time to pick a lock in the dark.


In an extreme case chas v’shalom like fire they can jump out of the window or I would break down the door if I couldn’t use a key and flashlight. 🤷🏻‍♀️
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amother
Sapphire


 

Post Fri, Jun 14 2019, 10:55 am
amother [ Mauve ] wrote:
Oh sapphire, by putting locks on your teens doors you're not providing them a space to m*sterbate, oh god! I can't believe a parent would even think like this about their kids, you have a dirty mind. Most teens have better things to do with their day. The reason you should put in a lock is because they ask for it & they want their privacy.


I didn't mention that m@sterbation is the reason for a lock, it was another poster. I think it is sick that parents would facilitate it.
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amother
Cerulean


 

Post Fri, Jun 14 2019, 10:57 am
amother [ Sapphire ] wrote:
I didn't mention that m@sterbation is the reason for a lock, it was another poster. I think it is sick that parents would facilitate it.


I mentioned m@sturbation as one of a myriad of reasons that teens need privacy. Nobody needs a parent walking in on them. I also am the same poster who mentioned we need locks so my toddler doesn’t annoy my older kids which is a valid reason unrelated to self-pleasuring.

I am not facilitating m@sturbation but trying to foster an environment where I say “yes, privacy is respected in this house.”
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amother
Ivory


 

Post Fri, Jun 14 2019, 11:04 am
I'm in my fifties and am towards the later phase of raising a large family. After successfully raising a number of kids, I recently experienced some horrible behaviors/situations. But, even looking back before this, I still wish I would have insisted on open doors.
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amother
Cerulean


 

Post Fri, Jun 14 2019, 11:07 am
amother [ Ivory ] wrote:
I'm in my fifties and am towards the later phase of raising a large family. After successfully raising a number of kids, I recently experienced some horrible behaviors/situations. But, even looking back before this, I still wish I would have insisted on open doors.


May I ask if/how the behaviors are related to having locked doors?
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amother
Mauve


 

Post Fri, Jun 14 2019, 11:08 am
Amother sapphire, the only thing that's "sick" is that your kids m*sturbating & parents "providing" a space to do so, is what comes to your mind when locks on doors are mentioned.
This is not common behavior & most teens have better things to do with their day.
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ectomorph




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jun 14 2019, 11:30 am
amother [ Ivory ] wrote:
I'm in my fifties and am towards the later phase of raising a large family. After successfully raising a number of kids, I recently experienced some horrible behaviors/situations. But, even looking back before this, I still wish I would have insisted on open doors.

This. So many situations are prevented by open door policy. Yes kids can have privacy, like a locked drawer or something, but they can't lock the door from within. It's too dangerous and frankly they shouldn't be doing anything that they don't want someone walking in on.

Yes, teach everyone to knock. And I grew up that everyone dresses in the bathroom any way.

And every minute counts in a fire. Locked doors are physically dangerous as well. Even my husband and I lock our doors only when we need privacy. Never when sleeping. It's not safe.
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amother
Cerulean


 

Post Fri, Jun 14 2019, 11:33 am
ectomorph wrote:
This. So many situations are prevented by open door policy. Yes kids can have privacy, like a locked drawer or something, but they can't lock the door from within. It's too dangerous and frankly they shouldn't be doing anything that they don't want someone walking in on.

Yes, teach everyone to knock. And I grew up that everyone dresses in the bathroom any way.

And every minute counts in a fire. Locked doors are physically dangerous as well. Even my husband and I lock our doors only when we need privacy. Never when sleeping. It's not safe.


I must say, I find it extremely strange that people get dressed in a bathroom. I would hate that. Is this because you had a lot of siblings sharing one bedroom with you? 🤔
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ectomorph




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jun 14 2019, 11:35 am
amother [ Cerulean ] wrote:
I must say, I find it extremely strange that people get dressed in a bathroom. I would hate that. Is this because you had a lot of siblings sharing one bedroom with you? 🤔

Sometimes I shared a room and sometimes not, but in my family it was considered more tznius to get dressed in the bathroom (obviously we weren't supposed to dilly dally)
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amother
Cerulean


 

Post Fri, Jun 14 2019, 12:14 pm
amother [ Sapphire ] wrote:
I don't know if you were the poster who said that the kids need the locks to m@sterbate. I said that is sick. If they want to do that, they can do it in the dark.


I am indeed the poster who first mentioned m@sturbation. You can follow the poster’s amother color to keep track. However a few points:

1) I didn’t say they need locks in order to m@sturbate but for general privacy including m@sturbation as an example. Other examples people gave were dancing, making faces etc.
Or journaling or staring into space. Just private time that all healthy humans need. There was nothing “sick” about my suggestion.

2) I am not sure why you are so hung up about the time of day. I didn’t mention daytime and as I said in a previous post, my DCs are in school during the day, why aren’t yours? 🤔
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amother
Cerulean


 

Post Fri, Jun 14 2019, 12:15 pm
ectomorph wrote:
Sometimes I shared a room and sometimes not, but in my family it was considered more tznius to get dressed in the bathroom (obviously we weren't supposed to dilly dally)


I can’t imagine needing to quickly get dressed in a shared bathroom vs dressing leisurely in a non-shared bedroom. I don’t understand how the latter is not Tznius.
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amother
Copper


 

Post Fri, Jun 14 2019, 2:27 pm
Yes, bedroom doors lock. Personal privacy is important in my house. It helps teach us all boundaries. All but he master bedroom has a "slit" or *thumb" lock. Easily opened by a thumbnail, no key needed.
I give my children privacy if needed. If you knock, they need to open the door or tell you why they cant open right now.
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amother
Taupe


 

Post Fri, Jun 14 2019, 6:04 pm
Yes, they do. I switched the knobs to key locks because my youngest (SN) was destroying their siblings' things. It wasn't fair. now they can keep their doors locked when they aren't in them, as well as when they are in.

I do have duplicate keys. (I knock, though, out of principle, but you don't get to keep me out all the time!)
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