Summer vacation rant

amother

Pink

Mon, Jun 17 2019, 6:08 am

Ruby, I agree with every word you wrote. Take heart that not all parents are as bitter and cynical and need to blame " the system"
" the schools"
And worst of all " the teachers "
Any teacher who gives their heart and soul and all emotional energy to the job of nurturing our children knows that of course teachers deserve our upmost respect and yes, breaks too!
These threads make me angry as well.
Reading about all these bitter entitled parents is really sad.
Now throw the tomatoes! Hiding

Ema of 5

Mon, Jun 17 2019, 7:22 am

amother [ Pink ] wrote:

I love when my kids are home. It doesn’t always go well, but I still love it.
This summer, I am keeping my 10 year old daughter home, so we can spend time together. BH my husband is able to take off a few weeks in August, and we are going to go on a road trip. We usually go every summer, between camp and school. All of my kids will be starting after Labor Day next year, so we will have plenty of time.
We do things that we don’t have time for during the year- we bake, we play games, we do projects....my daughter is switching bedrooms, and wants to paint her new room. Maybe we will buy a can of paint and some rollers.

miami85

Mon, Jun 17 2019, 8:41 am

Schools are mandated by law to be 180 calendar days. Yeshivos believe that Torah does not take breaks so they have more kodesh days than chol. Day camps have to work around when school buildings and personnel are available and are not mandated to be anything. Public schools are not open for 2 months in the summer, ok they don't pay tuition but the parents have to figure out things as well.

amother

Olive

Mon, Jun 17 2019, 9:00 am

As someone posted here, yes it boggles my mind when parents complain about days off. I don't get the idea of schools being your child's babysitters. Of course it's easier when someone else takes care of your child so you can work/relax/shop or do whatever else you need to with no interruptions. But, this complaining when there's no school as if they owe you something other than helping along with your child's education, I don't get that. I would however love to hear someones honest opinion on why you feel your child's school is obligated to provide you with more school days. Is it because you have no time or patience to entertain your child. Why is that the schools problem? (Not writing this to be mean, I've always wanted to understand the "other" point of view.)

amother

Azure

Mon, Jun 17 2019, 9:12 am

amother [ Olive ] wrote:

I haven't been complaining on the thread, but I believe that the answer is money and inflexible jobs in the secular world.
Most women I know don't work for fun. We do it because of expenses, tuition, etc. Tuition is an arm and a leg. It's over 16k per child for elementary school where I live. So women have to work to pay that.
Secular jobs only have so much vacation. Many employers actively discourage unpaided vacation. Most if not all vacation goes to Yom tov. So you have a stressed out woman trying to figure out how to make sure her children are taken care of and happy when she can't take off any more time without losing her job and can't lose her job because she can't pay tuition and rent and food, and that's the resentment on the thread.

rachelmom1

Mon, Jun 17 2019, 9:21 am

Spoken from my heart...

amother [ Azure ] wrote:

amother

Wheat

Mon, Jun 17 2019, 9:36 am

amother [ Pink ] wrote:

I didn't read all the posts but we working moms forgot something very basic.
Schools were never created to be our child's babysitting service.
Schools are there to educate our children.
Every child benefits from down time. ( Yes, even the ones who's mom say , " but they neeeed structure;)
To take away that downtime from our children would be a terrible disservice.
If possible to take off those days and spend the day together with your child that is obviously ideal. ( yes, not always is what is ideal is practical)
Embrace those 11 days. Childhood is very short.
Paint together.
Read together.
Bake together
Splash in the rain together.
Plant seeds together.
Laugh together.
Hug together.
Play together.
Enjoy the moment together Cool

You know what would happen if I embraced those 11 days and played with my kids who I love so much?

I would enjoy every minute and then I would come back to no job.
And then I would be evicted and have no money to buy food.

Its ok tho, im sure the memories of baking cookies and painting will keep them fed and warm.

The privilege on this thread is astounding!! The OP is not bashing teachers or schools. For everyone to come and say "make the best of it" clearly dont have to really work for a living. So let her vent and commiserate with her. If you can't relate then keep your opinions to yourself

amother

Lawngreen

Mon, Jun 17 2019, 9:41 am

I havent commented yet but for those teachers who talk about getting "so little time off" during the school year... Yeah right. I work year round. All vacation days are going straight to Yom tov. I end up having to take unpaid days by the end of the year usually. I dont get a week off before Pesach and Chol Hamoed off. I don't get 3 days before Sukkos (so there is like 1.5 days of school in between YK and sukkos). I dont get a half day on every fast day. I dont even get legal holidays off!! I work in a health care related field that cant take time off. Some jobs are year round. That is besides summer vacation, winter break, Chanukah....AND I work longer hours than school is. Yeah, if I could I would find a job that allows me to be home more but not all of us are lucky enough to get them. Where I live only "chashuv families" get jobs at frum organizations/schools. I was born into the wrong family I guess.

Seriously. Teachers I spoke to complain that they "need" the time to cook/clean before the Chagim. Sorry but I did it all on Sundays and evenings. Literally- Sukkos hardware store runs at 8pm.
Teachers shouldn't complain they don't have time off!! (And no. I dont make tons of money. Probably less per hour than teachers do without some benefits like less tuition or reduced fees for shul/community events. Or store discount cards. Or even just understanding why we cannot pay for extras when we arent a chinuch family!!)

I have been struggling to find childcare during off days and will probably shell out my entire salary to high school girls...

amother

Olive

Mon, Jun 17 2019, 9:51 am

amother [ Azure ] wrote:

Valid point, thanks for clarifying that. Still unsure why the schools are to blame here, but ok, I hear you.

amother

Silver

Mon, Jun 17 2019, 10:02 am

amother [ Pink ] wrote:

You must be very wealthy. I certainly HOPE that you're not someone who is depending upon the largesse of those who actually work for a living and making such condescending remarks.

I used to get 15 days off a year; I've since negotiated an extra 5. There can be up to 11 chagim on workdays. Chagim. Not erev chag. Not chol hamoed. CHAG.

If I were to take 11 days between school and camp to "embrace" childhood, I'd have to work on Pesach. And Sukkot. And Rosh Hashana.

Unless, of course, you're volunteering to pay my mortgage and tuition bills. In which case, thanks.

No one is saying that schools are babysitters, or demeaning teachers. They're saying that things need to be set up to better accommodate working parents.

amother

Lilac

Mon, Jun 17 2019, 10:31 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Feel free to kvetch along with me...

School ends June 19/20
Day camp starts July 1
Day camp ends Aug 22
School starts after labor day, so probably around September 3

You following me?
There are approximately 11 days each before and after day camp... We are paying an arm and a leg for tuition and day camp. School should end closer to the end of June and day camp should end closer to the end of August. Don't start telling me people need to go to the country bla bla bla. The world should not revolve around the country.

Thanks for listening.

hooray! I am looking forward. your post made me excited. I can't wait to spend time with my kids. they always wanna go to school and day camp and I barely get time to BE with them.
oh and btw, nobody signed kesuba with you that your kids will be entertained from 9-5. think about it before you decide to have more.

amother

Silver

Mon, Jun 17 2019, 10:40 am

amother [ Lilac ] wrote:

And maybe you should consider the fact that your kids would rather be anywhere else but with you before you decide to have more.

I'm not usually this mean, but if you're going to attack working parents, who do have to worry about days off, then I get to comment on the fact that your kids would rather be in school than with you.

amother

Teal

Mon, Jun 17 2019, 10:52 am

2 points that have come up here:

1. School is not childcare: Agreed. However, given that I work, my children that are not in school go to a babysitter or playgroup and I look for one that works even on school vacation days. No such flexibility when looking for schools.
(Personally, I would gladly take a 7% pay cut and be off all days schools are off - I spend the majority of my salary those days on babysitting! Unfortunately, it's not an option in my industry and we can't afford a 100% pay cut)

2. We knew about this time off for months and it is not a surprise. That is true. However, I am lucky enough to have X days off (after YT and so on), vs about 3X days off from school. Given the nature of my job, I have to book vacation time somewhat in advance which is a gamble.
Even though I knew about mid-winter vacation months in advance, I couldn't call a friend months in advance and ask if DD could come play. I can't even call people who have ran mid-winter day camps months in advance, because they decide last minute.
So if I gambled on the assumption that I will take off erev YT because there won't be anyone to watch my kids and assume that there will be a "between camp and school" daycamp - I am still desperate to find one now, even though I knew about the issue months in advance.

amother

Linen

Mon, Jun 17 2019, 11:02 am

amother [ Lilac ] wrote:

These snobby posts from teachers masquerading as the best parents in the world are disgusting. Yes you do an amazing job, but others are allowed to complain when they don't have the luxury that you do of being home with your kids for their entire vacation.

keym

Mon, Jun 17 2019, 11:12 am

amother [ Teal ] wrote:

And 3. OP is allowed to vent. As Jewish Women, we have so much on our plate. We are allowed to kvetch a bit about the stress.
And trying to find arrangements is stressful.
Working at home with your kids dancing around is stressful.
Having to take off some days and dealing with less funds to pay bills is stressful.
Having to negotiate days off from bosses and trading favors with coworkers is stressful.
Having to send kids to "gap camp" programs where they don't know the teachers and are off schedule is stressful. The frequent staff change is stressful.
Having to spend your entire salary on gap camps but you do it in order to keep your job is stressful.

And all OP and the other mothers are asking for sympathy in dealing with this. That's it.

amother

Pink

Mon, Jun 17 2019, 11:33 am

amother [ Silver ] wrote:

Na, silver I have no money. I am not wealthy at all. Barely making ends meet like so many.... Cool