Summer vacation rant

amother

Lilac

Mon, Jun 17 2019, 2:36 pm

amother [ Silver ] wrote:

And maybe you should consider the fact that your kids would rather be anywhere else but with you before you decide to have more.

I'm not usually this mean, but if you're going to attack working parents, who do have to worry about days off, then I get to comment on the fact that your kids would rather be in school than with you.

woohoo. fact is that kids who are forced to go to school, don't want to. that's just the way their brains are wired.
my husband is a bus driver and he says that the kids who are forced to go onto the bus cuz their moms don't have time to keep them home are the ones that cry. fortunately my children are very well adjusted and are happy to go to school. they're too young to not wanna be with their mom anyhow. (think a 5 yr old)
and by the way, not that it matters, but I didn't realize that the talk is about working moms. I just read the op's first post and responded to that
and yeah, my family in general is very against working moms. we try, if possible, to stay home with the kids. if possible.

amother

Lilac

Mon, Jun 17 2019, 2:41 pm

amother [ Lime ] wrote:

Let me guess... R u a stay at home mom or a teacher??? 🙄🙄🙄

not that the question was asked of me, but I feel the same way as that poster and answering the question, I am a stay at home mother.
Please forgive me if anyone felt judged. I totally don't know how people make it in today's society. If not for the financial help we get then I probably would've worked too.
Our worlds are so apart.

amother

Lilac

Mon, Jun 17 2019, 2:46 pm

and some schools in my area stopped giving midwinter vacation. they claim that the teachers anyhow take off when their own children have vacation and they end up having to hire a sub.
so they give the teachers off and find a sub only once by skipping the midwinter. working moms love it. it didn't make too much of a difference to me.
what was hard for me to understand was the non working moms who were upset with the vacation days and were so excited with this arrangement. what's so hard about keeping kids home? I am honestly asking, what am I missing?
from the op's post it didn't sound like she is working and that's her issue

keym

Mon, Jun 17 2019, 2:48 pm

amother [ Lilac ] wrote:

by the way, some school specifically cater to working parents and don't give even one day off. I know two such schools. they ALWAYS have school. erev and motzei yom tov....

Names of such schools please and location?
In Lakewood, I know of preschools attached to daycare centers open everyday. But I don't know of any place that has everyday for primary and up, and these are the ages that need it.

amother

Lilac

Mon, Jun 17 2019, 2:54 pm

amother [ Linen ] wrote:

These snobby posts from teachers masquerading as the best parents in the world are disgusting. Yes you do an amazing job, but others are allowed to complain when they don't have the luxury that you do of being home with your kids for their entire vacation.

I am a stay at home mom
I didn't realize the thread is about working parents. I thought it's about parents who don't have patience to their children and want the out of sight

amother

Lilac

Mon, Jun 17 2019, 2:57 pm

keym wrote:

brooklyn.
I don't live there either but... find out if there is such a school in your area
and recently I was talking to someone, not Jewish, and mentioned to her about something I plan to do during break between school and day camp. at first she didn't understand what I was saying. she told me that the private school she sends to has no breaks...

Ema of 5

Mon, Jun 17 2019, 3:09 pm

amother [ Lilac ] wrote:

Brilliant idea: I know it goes against the very grain of their being, but why don’t all schools just coordinate vacations?!?! Wouldn’t it be so much easier to just have everyone off at the same time, rather than having two full weeks of kids being home, with staggered vacations?

amother

Bronze

Mon, Jun 17 2019, 4:05 pm

Maybe I'm the only one like this and I guess I'll be brave and ready for the tomatoes but...

I am a work-at-home mom and my schedule is arranged so that I am always available when my kids are home (unless someone is home sick). I work nights and a few mornings. When my kids were off last year I purposely kept them home and arranged camp Mommy. I planned a schedule, activities, etc. and was home the entire time... And you know what, my 10-year-old just wanted friends.

My kids need a schedule, friends, and stimulation and no matter how hard I try to give it to them I can't give it in the quantities they need. I absolutely LOVE them to pieces, which is the only reason I work from home but I need them to have a bit of out-of-the-house time, even only 3 hours. I find it saves my sanity.

Ema of 5

Mon, Jun 17 2019, 4:41 pm

amother [ Bronze ] wrote:

I agree. I love having my kids home, but they don’t always WANT to be home. Especially when I WANT them to be

amother

Burlywood

Mon, Jun 17 2019, 7:24 pm

amother [ Lilac ] wrote:

I am a stay at home mom
I didn't realize the thread is about working parents. I thought it's about parents who don't have patience to their children and want the out of sight

Yes, many are.,,just read some the threads saying their kids drive them crazy and other such nice words about their beloved kids

amother

Burlywood

Mon, Jun 17 2019, 7:27 pm

amother [ Olive ] wrote:

As someone posted here, yes it boggles my mind when parents complain about days off. I don't get the idea of schools being your child's babysitters. Of course it's easier when someone else takes care of your child so you can work/relax/shop or do whatever else you need to with no interruptions. But, this complaining when there's no school as if they owe you something other than helping along with your child's education, I don't get that. I would however love to hear someones honest opinion on why you feel your child's school is obligated to provide you with more school days. Is it because you have no time or patience to entertain your child. Why is that the schools problem? (Not writing this to be mean, I've always wanted to understand the "other" point of view.)

Well said. Some people think schools are babysitters. They’re not. They’re there to educate the kids, not babysit. People who can’t handle the kids they have should think twice about what they’re transmitting to their kids,

allthingsblue

Mon, Jun 17 2019, 7:32 pm

amother [ Burlywood ] wrote:

This is ridiculous. I have two kids. Even with one kid, I needed to find childcare when the school gave off but I had work.
School is not a babysitter but like another poster said, tuition is a fortune and the least they could do is coordinate with all schools in the community + really offer school on as many days as possible.

amother

Burlywood

Mon, Jun 17 2019, 7:34 pm

the world's best mom wrote:

You pay tuition for the year, and it's broken up over 10 months. The school never claimed to be providing services the entire June. No schools go until the end of June here- it's not expected.

I understand that it can be overwhelming to be home with the kids for so long, because kids get bored with no structure.

However, the schools have no obligation to be open all year so that you never have to see your children except weekends and evenings. You're the mom.

I agree and what really bugs me is when moms pretend they just don’t want their kids home when mom has to work, but for too many moms they just don’t want their kids home period. I know for a fact, because the rosh Yeshiva of my ds’s school made Sunday hours longer because many moms told him they don’t want their boys Home ON SUNDAY! Don’t tell me it’s because all those moms work on Sunday. Sorry it’s because they don’t want the kids home on ANY day if they can help it, and it’s shameful

Mayflower

Mon, Jun 17 2019, 7:36 pm

amother [ Burlywood ] wrote:

Well said. Some people think schools are babysitters. They’re not. They’re there to educate the kids, not babysit.

Well from an educational POV it does not make sense at all to have a 10 week long break between school years. So much of what was learned gets 'unlearned' during the summer.. It's a real waste. It would make much more sense to have more continuity and several shorter breaks during the year.

(I do think it's very important for families to spend a few weeks bonding together and think it's sad not everyone has the possibility to spend time with their kids during the vacation.)

amother

Silver

Mon, Jun 17 2019, 7:41 pm

[quote="amother [ Burlywood ]"]

amother [ Silver ] wrote:

And maybe you should consider the fact that your kids would rather be anywhere else but with you before you decide to have more(quote]

How could y possibly know how her kids feel? This is definitely deserving of an award for “post of the year”

We know because she told us. She said that she looks forward to days when there is neither school nor camp, because otherwise, "they always wanna go to school and day camp and I barely get time to BE with them. "

amother

Burlywood

Mon, Jun 17 2019, 7:50 pm

amother [ Pumpkin ] wrote:

The problem IS on very much on the schools, because of what's taught to our kids.

Here's my reasoning: (I've copied and pasted below a response I wrote on another thread.)

Our schools & yeshivas teach our kids that the men should be in Kollel for as long as possible, deny those very young men any parnassoh skills, the wives should work full time while having as many kids as possible, eventually marry off their children & support them in kollel too, etc - and those very institutions in their very own communities should turn a blind eye and have zero responsibilities to the resulting hardships they support and encourage.

So let's pretend that these many poor young women who don't come from wealthy homes, and who are struggling to live up to the ideals that they've been taught, have themselves only to blame for not being able to manage their lives. Let's pretend that they're weak and are flawed and are in the wrong to expect that the communal institutions should at least attempt to work with them so they can hold their heads above water. Let's pretend that their numbers are very few and it's the wealthy & lucky few who are actually in the majority. Let's pretend so very righteously how its the poor teachers, rebbeim and principals that are the only truly overworked ones, and its encumbered on all of us to stretch ourselves beyond our human limits to cater to them. And let's pretend that the schools and yeshiva have no responsibilities & obligations to the parents & society, and its only the parents & children who owe the schools their entire lives.

Where on earth did u ever get the idea schools are for babysitting your kids so you can work? They are only to educate. If u had to send your your kids to public school would u dare tell them 3:00 dismissal is too early because u need to work?

amother

Burlywood

Mon, Jun 17 2019, 7:55 pm

yerushamama wrote:

No one here is referring to their children as a burden, and I am sure that most parents would love to take the time off to spend with their children! This post is basically lamenting the lack of options available to working parents when it comes to childcare between school and camp!

Speak for yourself but I personally have spoken to mothers who admit to working only because they need t o get out of the house, ie away from their kids, and one I know paid a babysitter so much so she could go out to her job that she almost didn’t come home with any pay after paying the babysitter. So don’t make like everyone complaining just needs the babysitting so they can work. I’ll bet majority just don’t want their kids home.

amother

Burlywood

Mon, Jun 17 2019, 7:58 pm

ivfhelp wrote:

I totally get what made her say this. I've been there. I still recognize that its probably not the healthiest thing for people with if to be commenting on the overwhelmed with kids thread. Every particular situation has it's open challenges. Am I jealous of those with large families? You got to believe it. But I recognize that they have their own challenges. That's why I don't comment on the bc, overwhelmed with kids type threads. I don't relate to their challenges and I don't think I would say anything that helpful.

I love when clueless people think they’re smart and know what’s going on in someone else’s life. I am bh a mother of children and yes I live when they’re home and believe they have too much school!