Great comebacks you thought of too late

amother

Aubergine

Wed, Jul 24 2019, 8:07 pm

Although I was born in the U.S. my family is from a particular background w a tight community. I was never a big fan of that community, and therefore didnt make it my business to attend those events. Despite my parents pleas. Anyway, people still "knew of me" , and when I was already engaged, my Dh who is not from this background, a well to do woman asked me, "oh you couldn't find yourself a good "x" boy? (Meaning from that culture/background).

I had actually dated a few but didnt want her digging into my business. I shrugged and walked away. But in my head I thought "actually its because I went out with boys like that, that I knew I needed something better/different."

amother

Lilac

Wed, Jul 24 2019, 8:25 pm

I was debating writing this one for a long time. Please don't assume that someone older (late 30s) has a lot of kids. I only have one, but I get asked quite frequently "where are your other kids" or "are you sure that this child is your oldest/youngest etc" after I said that this child is my only child.

I always want to say (I get it somewhat frequently). No, I forgot the other ones in the hospital after birth. But it's not really nice, so I don't.

Just a psa. No need for hugging.

amother

Plum

Wed, Jul 24 2019, 8:29 pm

I hope this gets back to the woman who said this...

So, in chassidishe circles, the parents meet each other when one side goes to check out the boy officially. I had the girl, but the boy in question was learning in Israel so the parents asked to meet my daughter first if possible before bringing their "precious child" in. We agreed and we all met at another married child's house. This is supposed to take all of 5 minutes.

A half an hour in to her grilling me about my daughter IN FRONT OF MY DAUGHTER, (does she cook, does she like ironing because her son is particular, on and on with rude questions) she came up with this gem:
"What does your husband do?" I told her what he does for a living.

Her follow up was, "does he have a female secretary?"

Knowing I would NEVER let my daughter NEAR her son, I kinda just giggled.

Because the first words that popped into my head were, "Are you looking for a job, lady?"

I have to assume she thought my husband was s@xy...

amother

Khaki

Wed, Jul 24 2019, 8:36 pm

amother [ Slateblue ] wrote:

I’m Bh pregnant and someone asked me casually “ oh we’re you trying a long time ? I was speechless but should have said “ the night I got pregnant I was trying “

“Oh, half the night!” LOL

amother

Crimson

Wed, Jul 24 2019, 9:30 pm

Have this all the time!

This happened about 2 weeks ago. my child is immunocompromised and any fever over 101 has to be reported to the dr. So my child was running a fever and I emailed the dr & called the NP to see what the recommendations are then. so dr emails back:
"you know her very well, and if you feel like she is not feeling well you can bring her in to be evaluated." I was so mad. you make me call then you make me feel like a fool. do I get concerned when any of my kids have a fever for a short while? no. but you need to know bec you need to monitor her med levels (which change with virus/infection) & obviously we need to rule out something big brewing which she can't handle on her own due to her compromised state. I had such a good comeback a couple of hours later. not chutzpa'dig or get back to you, but just to remind her who is the doctor here & why I needed to let her know. It didn't make sense to send at that point & now I don't remember anymore...

amother

Crimson

Wed, Jul 24 2019, 9:33 pm

This one happened last year and was really funny- the perfect comeback.
We're sitting in Peds office. my little peanut of a kid (no pun intended!) stuffed her mouth with a whole bamba. RN walks in, shakes her head from side to side & says "I would hate to have to do the Heimli(ch)k (emphasis on ei sound) on her"
Doctor pipes up "it's ok, she has a trach"!

Wife1

Wed, Jul 24 2019, 9:54 pm

When one of my kids were a baby he had very bad eczema on his face. A few people commented "you know he has a red face" after a few such comments I said
"Really thanks for letting me know I would never have realized if you didn't point it out

amother

Mint

Wed, Jul 24 2019, 11:01 pm

amother [ Plum ] wrote:

A half an hour in to her grilling me about my daughter IN FRONT OF MY DAUGHTER, (does she cook, does she like ironing because her son is particular, on and on with rude questions)

She sounds like one of those moms who doesn't want her son to get married.

amother

Pewter

Wed, Jul 24 2019, 11:08 pm

I think this was a pretty good comeback. Perhaps nasty. Oh well.

I have lived in Lakewood for many years. I walked into one of the new stored and was horrified to see that one could (in theory) buy a dress that costs more than our first car. (Okay, that does date me somewhat, and it was a used car, obviously...)

Anyhow, I probably looked like a nebby rebbetzin (which I guess I am...) and the saleswoman asked if she can help me.

I was just so horrified that such "mosros" are being introduced in Lakewood that I answered, "No thank you, there is nothing here in my price range or my taste."

Stars

Wed, Jul 24 2019, 11:15 pm

amother [ Crimson ] wrote:

I noticed that doctors tend to do this in these kinds of situations. Sucks.

amother

Crimson

Wed, Jul 24 2019, 11:21 pm

Stars wrote:

I noticed that doctors tend to do this in these kinds of situations. Sucks.

Tbh I was pretty shocked. we had just had a major discussion (with 7 drs involved) on certain testing they wanted to do when the next fever strikes. My friend pointed out that the dr didn't want us to get stuck in the hospital on a holiday weekend & at the start of all the new residents.
But yeah, I've been 'complimented' on my intuition more than once already... no thanks. we have a doctor for a reason...

seeker

Wed, Jul 24 2019, 11:28 pm

"Sorry, but no."

The very intelligent comeback that I wish I had thought of before agreeing to a project that is due now that I really don't feel like doing. And I know that very wise comeback is going to elude me again next time. I'm not THAT bad at saying no, but I don't pull it out fast enough sometimes...

simba

Thu, Jul 25 2019, 12:10 am

Jewishfoodie wrote:

Thought of this one right on time;
Really busy week, like crazy busy...
My husband sees me packing food up for one of my kids so she has some suppers for after a simcha, premade, and says,

"What time is supper?"
I said what every good Jewish woman should say.

"Whenever you make it."

Your nicer then my mom.
If my dad asks for supper she quickly reminds him that she isn’t lactating and he can find his own food!

amother

Natural

Thu, Jul 25 2019, 12:10 am

amother [ Lilac ] wrote:

I get that all the time. When I am alone with my (older) daughter - "So, are your sons with your husband? How old are they?"
There are SO many snarky things I could say. But my daughter being there protects the idiot.

pizza4

Thu, Jul 25 2019, 12:37 am

I was at an event and overheard these 2 questions within minutes: to a young woman- so how many kids do you have? And to a single young woman- so how old are you?
Um, why are people still asking these things? Just for curiosity's sake!

I'm so bad at thinking of comebacks in time.

amother

Burlywood

Thu, Jul 25 2019, 1:06 am

So... you're baby is now as old as your first one was when you had him (13 months old) . When are you having another one?

Thought 'so... when are you going till the mikva'

honeymoon

Thu, Jul 25 2019, 1:14 am

When my baby turned two and I wasn't pregnant someone told me "So your finally taking a well deserved break?" (My first few are less than two years apart.)
I snorted and shot back "Some breaks are not taken voluntarily, they're given by G-d."

The look on her face told me she got the message.

amother

Crimson

Thu, Jul 25 2019, 1:20 am

Wife1 wrote:

I’m still looking for the perfect comeback when someone comments on a zit. I’ve got this more than once “oish, what happened “.