Feeling cheated about Shabbos Nachamu Program

dankbar

Tue, Aug 20 2019, 12:56 pm

1)Its usually toamehu/ welcoming buffet on Friday before shabbos.
2)Breakfast early morn on Shabbos for cake & coffee, cereal, yogurt etc,
3)Then a kiddush, after shul, with more cake, herring, cholent, maybe salad.
4)Then Shabbos day seudah,
5)Sometimes like oneg shabbos/like shabbos party maybe cake/fruit/nosh after daytime nap.
6)Then shalosh seudas with rolls/tuna/salads/ fish platters if more upscale etc.
7)Then its melave malka with hot food like pizza/ziti/fries ice cream etc.
8) Then Sunday breakfast before you leave sometimes only ready sandwiches to take along on trip home, sometimes Custom omelettes & whole breakfast buffet.
9)some will also include Botta- after Fri night meal with nosh/beer for men or even fancy miniatures/fruit for women.
24 hr tea room if you are still hungry stocked with cake/coffee/tea

There's a huge spectrum of luxuries & usually get what you pay for.
Some provide speakers/entertainment/babysitting/toys/daycamp program for kids throughout shabbos/separate swim times/hotel amenities like gym etc

eta: ha ha, I even forgot to include Fri night meal

southernbubby

Tue, Aug 20 2019, 1:03 pm

Since I have been in Monsey, I have seen what the cost of a meal in a fleishig restaurant is so two nights in a hotel and 8 catered meals plus snacks, as well as speakers and entertainment, would be a good deal for $1000. Obviously the people who ran it either underestimated the cost or they knew up front that it was going to be a budget event and deliberately mislead people by referring to it as lavish. What does it hurt to express your disappointment to the organizers? They depend on word of mouth for future events.

dankbar

Tue, Aug 20 2019, 1:09 pm

Op said she paid $975 per couple plus tax & tips so amounted to over $1000. That is probably on lower end of pricing these programs charge so she got lower end of deal, even if it a lot of money to spend for her.

She did get all meals, plus entertainment, plus tea room. She expected expensive fancy chocos in tea room ( which nobody gives btw) & dairy cake by kiddush instead of pareve

watergirl

Tue, Aug 20 2019, 1:10 pm

dankbar wrote:

That is a lot of food. Like, a LOT. 6 food services on shabbos day, not including the tea room! I shudder to think of what the wait staff and crew are saying in the kitchen. When I think about all of the people who depend on the tomchei shabbos food boxes just to make it through the week... its such a dichotomy. Having said that, its this kehilla who can afford these shabbos hotel programs who support tomchei shabbos, so let them enjoy!

amother

Lilac

Tue, Aug 20 2019, 1:11 pm

dankbar wrote:

The only time I've seen tea rooms with cheese cake and fancy chocolates was at private wealthy simcha hotel weekends.

amother

Peach

Tue, Aug 20 2019, 1:16 pm

I get OP.

It's not about the chocolates or the cheesecakes per se.

When you shell out a lot of money to be pampered over the weekend, you expect to have food that is a little different than the regular chicken and potato kugel fare. It can be basic and yet still more creative than a yeshiva dorm meal.

I guess those who aren't into enjoying food just won't understand. But, I really see where she is coming from.

It might be a lower priced than other programs, but it's still a LOT of money so it makes sense to have certain expectations over a regular simple shabbos that you cook at home.

dankbar

Tue, Aug 20 2019, 1:21 pm

She wanted to get everything that she would get in an upscale place for minimal price. That's what happens many times, people that don't go away to bungalow colonies all summer like all their neighbors do, feel deprived, want to treat themselves to one shabbos, ditch out their hard earned money ( that maybe they can't afford) & expect to be pampered like a queen. That's where their dissapointment sets in, where their expectatations ran high & got only the lower type of services for their hard earned money & much needed break.

watergirl

Tue, Aug 20 2019, 1:23 pm

dankbar wrote:

What do the higher end nachmau programs cost?

amother

Peach

Tue, Aug 20 2019, 1:23 pm

dankbar wrote:

$1000 should get you more than a basic fare though. There's a big range between what OP described she had and an upscale experience.

amother

Crimson

Tue, Aug 20 2019, 1:28 pm

dankbar wrote:

Your post comes across as condescending, with all due respect.

dankbar

Tue, Aug 20 2019, 1:35 pm

The upscale programs charge over $2000 for a couple but you get much more & more meals like from Thu night etc.

Usually even simpler events are in major hotels like Hilton not like yeshiva dorms.

I remember couple of years ago being by a cheaper event like $500 a couple & people didn't stop complaining on the little choices of food or being served cheaper type of food....what did they expect? Maybe their prior experiences they got more but they also paid more...

dankbar

Tue, Aug 20 2019, 1:40 pm

amother [ Crimson ] wrote:

Your post comes across as condescending, with all due respect.

I understand OP dissapointment, I understand & trying to explain where this mindset is coming from, which happens to many people around. They dont realize what it costs, they keep hearing from people around them, what a great time they had & how lavishly they were treated, without knowing what other people paid for, they try to get the same luxury etc...Now it was a learning experience what the reality is out there. I feel bad that she felt her money was wasted etc...

sty123

Tue, Aug 20 2019, 1:56 pm

dankbar wrote:

As being a guest as well in what I am assuming is the same nj program as the op.
Our expectations were actually reasonable, and we knew going in it wasn’t a high end type weekend.
But all we asked for was a nice simple basic shabbos for $1000 a room. When the program owner tells you certain things on the phone and then fails to deliver, because he has your money already that’s we’re we feel we were cheated,
The owner knew well beforehand what he was planning on serving and buying, it wasn’t that the delivery never came ... he downsized because he knew ppl paid already... it’s like pre paying for a pizza pie and the store owner takes a slice from the pie and says .. hey it’s a cheaper pie so your not getting the full pie.

amother

Chocolate

Tue, Aug 20 2019, 1:58 pm

In sum, we've no idea if the OP 's expectations were too high, or if the program wasn't all it was cracked up to be. Either way, she was disappointed, and we should sympathize.

The moral is to ask lots of questions. "Lavish" is puffery, and one person's "lavish" is another's basic. If real dishes mean something to you, ask. Ask for a sample menu. Ask what is served in the tea room. Ask about facilities, entertainment, hours.

The only think I won't criticize is serving soup out of pitchers. Its brilliant, and I may adopt this myself.

watergirl

Tue, Aug 20 2019, 2:24 pm

sty123 wrote:

From what was described, it really sounds like you did get your nice, simple, basic shabbos for $1000 a room. If the described does not constitute to you as nice, simple, or basic, I would LOVE to know what you do consider to be so.

amother

Chocolate

Tue, Aug 20 2019, 2:51 pm

watergirl wrote:

I'm not that poster, but let's say the promoter said that the tea room would be fully stocked with cake and cookies at all times, but in fact it had pretzels and chips. Terrible? No. But not what was promised.

BTW, $1000 per room is a very different price from $1000 per couple, assuming that kids were there. A couple might have 4 kids in the room, so the $1000 is feeding 6, not 2.

watergirl

Tue, Aug 20 2019, 2:57 pm

amother [ Chocolate ] wrote:

Yes. But she said she wanted nice, simple, basic. That is what she got. We dont know, she did not tell us - what she specifically asked the owner and what he specifically said to her. Did he tell her there would be a stocked tea room? Or that it would be stocked with XYZ? Or did she just assume based on the subjective term "lavish"? Also, I'm sure we can all agree that lavish does not = nice simple basic.

I've said it before on this thread. You have to ask for specifics before you drop this kind of money on something. It does not appear that she did.

dancingqueen

Tue, Aug 20 2019, 3:06 pm

amother [ Chocolate ] wrote:

I was wondering that too, are these programs just for adults, or are the children a separate fee?