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Toddler vomiting after cry it out method
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Sebastian




 
 
 
 

Post  Sun, Dec 08 2019, 1:49 pm
nchr wrote:
Really? My kids all had one nap until 6 so far.

https://www.google.com/url?sa=.....bmiB0
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amother




Firebrick
 

Post  Sun, Dec 08 2019, 3:42 pm
nchr wrote:
Really? My kids all had one nap until 6 so far.


Lucky! Are they home with you until then? I do believe that's not the norm.
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Odelyah




 
 
 
 

Post  Sun, Dec 08 2019, 3:58 pm
amother [ Firebrick ] wrote:
Lucky! Are they home with you until then? I do believe that's not the norm.


my kids would have napped once a day longer, but then they would have been up very late every night. I weaned them off their nap when it got too hard because they needed fewer hours of daily sleep and they were bopping around at night after all the older kids went to bed. it really was for my own convenience but hopefully fine for them too, when I did it.

but then there was the stress of oh no! it's 4pm we can't take him in the car or he'll fall asleep! and then there goes my night! Wink
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sweet




 
 
 
 

Post  Sun, Dec 08 2019, 4:05 pm
I didn’t read all the comments but my 3.5 year old just started sleeping through the night! And partly because I have a new baby and he decided on his own that he’s a big boy and yes I still do sit with him by bedtime and nurse my baby on his bed while he’s falling asleep..
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Odelyah




 
 
 
 

Post  Sun, Dec 08 2019, 5:03 pm
sweet wrote:
I didn’t read all the comments but my 3.5 year old just started sleeping through the night! And partly because I have a new baby and he decided on his own that he’s a big boy and yes I still do sit with him by bedtime and nurse my baby on his bed while he’s falling asleep..


mazel tov!!

this sweet Smile post genuinely warmed my heart Heart
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nchr




 
 
 
 

Post  Sun, Dec 08 2019, 5:43 pm
amother [ Firebrick ] wrote:
Lucky! Are they home with you until then? I do believe that's not the norm.


No. I personally would keep them home until 5 but it is not the norm in my circles so I send them to school at 3. I was disappointed that cheder stopped with naps, but after they get home or on the weekends they would and still do almost always have a nap.
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sweet




 
 
 
 

Post  Sun, Dec 08 2019, 5:54 pm
Odelyah wrote:
mazel tov!!

this sweet Smile post genuinely warmed my heart Heart


Lol, Thx, That's sweet" of u to say!
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tichellady




 
 
 
 

Post  Sun, Dec 08 2019, 6:53 pm
I wouldn’t do the cry it out method at this age as the first thing. I would start with a better bedtime routine. Please get a book on helping babies sleep or speak with a consultant, it sounds like you could use some guidance in this area.
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sky




 
 
 
 

Post  Mon, Dec 09 2019, 11:26 pm
amother [ Cerise ] wrote:
"When I cry mommy comes to help me" is not manipulative. It's security. When I need help, someone I trust comes to help me. The world is not scary, when I cry people care. I am loved and secure.

When babies stop crying it's not because "when I'm put in my crib after 7pm it's bedtime and I need to go to sleep." It's because "when I'm put in my crib and it's dark and I cry, no one comes to me, so why bother crying at all, it's a waste of energy if no one will come." Babies are programmed not to waste energy on useless crying. Babies in orphanages cry less because they have learned no one comes, that's not healthy. When no one comes it means "no one is there to come, you are alone in the world, which means you need to conserve energy until there'll be an adult available to feed you and care for you. Right now go to sleep to conserve energy."


This is not a baby in a orphanage thinking Mommy isn’t coming. This is a child who was rocked to sleep the past 480 nights. Babies know when they are loved.

My baby cried because I wouldn’t open a lolly pop he found. I offered him string cheese instead - he cried harder. I offered him crackers - he threw himself to the floor and wailed. I left the room. He got up and stopped crying and picked up a doll. I don’t believe he was conserving energy for when I’d be back.
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amother




Cerise
 

Post  Tue, Dec 10 2019, 6:03 am
sky wrote:
This is not a baby in a orphanage thinking Mommy isn’t coming. This is a child who was rocked to sleep the past 480 nights. Babies know when they are loved.

My baby cried because I wouldn’t open a lolly pop he found. I offered him string cheese instead - he cried harder. I offered him crackers - he threw himself to the floor and wailed. I left the room. He got up and stopped crying and picked up a doll. I don’t believe he was conserving energy for when I’d be back.

You don't see the difference between a baby who has been left alone in a dark room (and for all he knows mommy will never come back again ch"v), exhausted and screaming, after doing nothing wrong and asking for nothing but comfort, and a baby whose mother is in front of him and took something away? And then walked out - and he could follow, he wasn't confined and helpless?
You don't see the difference between a child so hysterical and distressed that it caused him to throw up - and more than once - and a child who is having a temper tantrum about not getting a lollipop?
The baby definitely knows the difference. The baby's body knows the difference. Every observer knows the difference. Why would you compare the two?
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sky




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Dec 10 2019, 7:26 am
amother [ Cerise ] wrote:
You don't see the difference between a baby who has been left alone in a dark room (and for all he knows mommy will never come back again ch"v), exhausted and screaming, after doing nothing wrong and asking for nothing but comfort, and a baby whose mother is in front of him and took something away? And then walked out - and he could follow, he wasn't confined and helpless?
You don't see the difference between a child so hysterical and distressed that it caused him to throw up - and more than once - and a child who is having a temper tantrum about not getting a lollipop?
The baby definitely knows the difference. The baby's body knows the difference. Every observer knows the difference. Why would you compare the two?


Earlier I said my baby cries because he is smart. I was told Babies never do that. They don’t waste energy crying. Now I’m being told it’s different.

Do babies have that knowledge or not? Do they cry purposely or not? You can’t have it both ways.

I think a baby who is loved and cared for 24/7 is not a baby in an orphanage. He knows his mother loves him. Letting him cry for 5 minutes (as op did) is not abandoning him. And he doesn’t lose that feeling of love.
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amother




Cerise
 

Post  Tue, Dec 10 2019, 7:54 am
sky wrote:
Earlier I said my baby cries because he is smart. I was told Babies never do that. They don’t waste energy crying. Now I’m being told it’s different.

Do babies have that knowledge or not? Do they cry purposely or not? You can’t have it both ways.

I think a baby who is loved and cared for 24/7 is not a baby in an orphanage. He knows his mother loves him. Letting him cry for 5 minutes (as op did) is not abandoning him. And he doesn’t lose that feeling of love.

Babies cry because they are upset. There are different levels of upset. Babies are not manipulative, which is what you said your baby was doing - trying to manipulate you.

If a baby cries because he wants a lollipop and then stops crying when he is distracted/ mother walks away, then he obviously has an understanding that mom does not care and he can stop crying. Later he will understand that mom does care and he will be able to appreciate the alternatives offered. Right now he knows mom is there and refusing, and now mom walked away, no point in crying. That doesn't mean mom is a bad mom, she would be a bad mom if she never said no and never allowed her baby to experience negative feelings. But negative feelings can be experienced without causing permanent or long-term trauma.

A baby who is crying so much that he throws up - like the OP wrote - is in serious distress. It does not matter if that baby is crying for five minutes or ten minutes. Since the OP did not say that the baby always throws up when he cries, I'm assuming that he doesn't throw up every time he cries for five minutes during a diaper change or when refused a lollipop, only when he's experiencing more serious distress and anxiety. (OP correct me if I'm wrong.)

Babies subconsciously know the difference between feeling safe (mom is here and denying me lollipop and I cry because I don't know any other way of handling it) and feeling abandoned (mom is not here, it is dark, I am scared and lonely and overtired and she is not coming to my aid or even present). Eventually this baby will experience enough trauma and use enough energy that s/he will understand that it is crucial to conserve energy and stop crying. The trauma that baby experienced, however, is on a completely different level than the baby who stopped crying because PRESENT mom did not care enough about my DESIRES to give me a lollipop. Comfort when you are scared is a biological necessity. Children deprived of it suffer severely in the present and future. Every baby's body knows - even if his conscious mind does not - that lollipop is not a biological need.

Babies cry because they have no other way of expressing their distress. They do not do it to manipulate their parents, which is what you implied your brilliant baby does.
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amother




Azure
 

Post  Tue, Dec 10 2019, 7:59 am
amother [ Cerise ] wrote:
"When I cry mommy comes to help me" is not manipulative. It's security. When I need help, someone I trust comes to help me. The world is not scary, when I cry people care. I am loved and secure.

When babies stop crying it's not because "when I'm put in my crib after 7pm it's bedtime and I need to go to sleep." It's because "when I'm put in my crib and it's dark and I cry, no one comes to me, so why bother crying at all, it's a waste of energy if no one will come." Babies are programmed not to waste energy on useless crying. Babies in orphanages cry less because they have learned no one comes, that's not healthy. When no one comes it means "no one is there to come, you are alone in the world, which means you need to conserve energy until there'll be an adult available to feed you and care for you. Right now go to sleep to conserve energy."


If that was the case then CIO babies wouldn't cry during the day, because apparantly fhey are neglected and no one cares about them.
But that's not the case.
My CIO babies sometimes cried in the morning when it was time to wake up (and I happily ran to take them out of the crib), they cry all the time during the day if they need something (although I try to preempt the crying by feeding them on time, changing diapers right away, snuggling with them etc).
My babies are b"H happy, well rested, well adjusted and loved and they definitely feel it.
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amother




Cerise
 

Post  Tue, Dec 10 2019, 8:25 am
amother [ Azure ] wrote:
If that was the case then CIO babies wouldn't cry during the day, because apparantly fhey are neglected and no one cares about them.
But that's not the case.
My CIO babies sometimes cried in the morning when it was time to wake up (and I happily ran to take them out of the crib), they cry all the time during the day if they need something (although I try to preempt the crying by feeding them on time, changing diapers right away, snuggling with them etc).
My babies are b"H happy, well rested, well adjusted and loved and they definitely feel it.

Because not every CIO baby takes it so hard.
I'm not sure why it's so difficult to understand that if a baby cries for a few minutes but is not hysterical and after a couple days of proper CIO (meaning you come in to say hi and give a hug, but don't pick baby up) stops crying, that's not going to be even a tenth as traumatic as a baby who after several nights is still throwing up after five minutes of crying and is clearly taking it harder, in a very basic sense.

Some people take things harder than others. For the OP's baby, this is clearly traumatic and she needs a different method, not to be told that CIO is hunky dory and her baby is manipulative because other posters believe they have seen their babies manipulate them.
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amother




Azure
 

Post  Tue, Dec 10 2019, 8:36 am
amother [ Cerise ] wrote:
Because not every CIO baby takes it so hard.
I'm not sure why it's so difficult to understand that if a baby cries for a few minutes but is not hysterical and after a couple days of proper CIO (meaning you come in to say hi and give a hug, but don't pick baby up) stops crying, that's not going to be even a tenth as traumatic as a baby who after several nights is still throwing up after five minutes of crying and is clearly taking it harder, in a very basic sense.

Some people take things harder than others. For the OP's baby, this is clearly traumatic and she needs a different method, not to be told that CIO is hunky dory and her baby is manipulative because other posters believe they have seen their babies manipulate them.


Thank you for clarifying
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amother




Gold
 

Post  Tue, Dec 10 2019, 8:37 am
amother [ Azure ] wrote:

My CIO babies sometimes cried in the morning when it was time to wake up, they cry all the time during the day if they need something.

My babies are b"H happy.


I edited this, because I wanted to be clear that these two statements don't really seem to line up. While I don't doubt that you are a great mom who runs when they wake up or get hungry, and loves the babies deeply, I don't understand how babies who cry all day long are considered happy.
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amother




Aquamarine
 

Post  Tue, Dec 10 2019, 8:46 am
Babies are manipulative. It's just a fact. Behavioral experts have found that from about seven months old, babies sometimes engage in deceptive behavior (such as fake crying) in order to get attention.

However, that has nothing to do with the situation described, which is not manipulative behavior.
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Ruchel




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Dec 10 2019, 11:38 am
even animals can manipulate. It doesn't mean it's mean, just survival technique. But yes, big babies can manipulate (I don't know the age, )
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amother




Azure
 

Post  Tue, Dec 10 2019, 11:49 am
amother [ Gold ] wrote:
I edited this, because I wanted to be clear that these two statements don't really seem to line up. While I don't doubt that you are a great mom who runs when they wake up or get hungry, and loves the babies deeply, I don't understand how babies who cry all day long are considered happy.


They don't cry all day; they cry any time they need something. (Which I try to keep to a minimum because I try to meet their needs before they have to cry to tell me about their needs.)
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