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How old were you when you had your last child?
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amother




Vermilion
 

Post  Thu, Jan 23 2020, 1:48 pm
40
Sad I can’t have more-
Ended up with 4 kids and always thought I would have at least 8.
But I know I have to thank Hashem for what He gave me...
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mha3484




 
 
 
 

Post  Thu, Jan 23 2020, 1:55 pm
I had a girl after 4 boys when I was 35. Its extremely hard for me to imagine having more but hey life can change in seconds so I just take it as it comes and I don't make grand pronouncements.
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amother




Firebrick
 

Post  Thu, Jan 23 2020, 1:58 pm
amother [ Tangerine ] wrote:
I agree with you. I'm far from 13 ..hope to get there one day. I also feel emotionally better than ever in my life after giving birth. If you realize the value of bringing a child into the world I don't see how anyone could care about their figure or being exhausted


There is also value in giving the children you brought into the world enough time and attention. (Hard to pull off when you're exhausted and depleted.)

There is also value in making an effort for your marriage. (One possible reason that women may prioritize keeping in shape.)
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Coffee Addict




 
 
 
 

Post  Thu, Jan 23 2020, 2:13 pm
mha3484 wrote:
I had a girl after 4 boys when I was 35. Its extremely hard for me to imagine having more but hey life can change in seconds so I just take it as it comes and I don't make grand pronouncements.


Mazel tov! I remember you talking about your boys. So exciting you got a girl bh. Very Happy
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Ruchel




 
 
 
 

Post  Thu, Jan 23 2020, 2:16 pm
If the sb is about keeping in shape, there is probably a real problem and it's good they are on birth control until solved
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mig100




 
 
 
 

Post  Thu, Jan 23 2020, 2:27 pm
Ruchel wrote:
If the sb is about keeping in shape, there is probably a real problem and it's good they are on birth control until solved


Haha agree
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amother




Firebrick
 

Post  Thu, Jan 23 2020, 2:33 pm
Ruchel wrote:
If the sb is about keeping in shape, there is probably a real problem and it's good they are on birth control until solved


That's a really unkind thing to say.

I think it's nice to put effort into looking nice for yourself and for your husband.

It's not just about your husbands perception of how you look- just feeling good about yourself and being in a good headspace can help your marriage.

But sure, any woman who tries to keep in shape for the benefit of her marriage should get on birth control ASAP. If you say so.
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Ruchel




 
 
 
 

Post  Thu, Jan 23 2020, 2:37 pm
reported Smile
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FranticFrummie




 
 
 
 

Post  Thu, Jan 23 2020, 2:42 pm
I adopted DD when I was 38. It's really weird being an older first time mom. All the other moms are half your age.

I have a friend who is only a year older than I am. I ran into her at the bus stop the other day, and she introduced me to her granddaughter, who seemed to be about 9 or 10 years old.

I can't even imagine having a bunch of grand kids right now. I told DD to take her time settling down, and enjoy being a kid a little bit longer. Smile
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Ruchel




 
 
 
 

Post  Thu, Jan 23 2020, 2:46 pm
Grandkids at 38? not a good thing in the western world
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essie14




 
 
 
 

Post  Thu, Jan 23 2020, 3:05 pm
FranticFrummie wrote:
I adopted DD when I was 38. It's really weird being an older first time mom. All the other moms are half your age.

I have a friend who is only a year older than I am. I ran into her at the bus stop the other day, and she introduced me to her granddaughter, who seemed to be about 9 or 10 years old.

I can't even imagine having a bunch of grand kids right now. I told DD to take her time settling down, and enjoy being a kid a little bit longer. Smile

I had my first DD at 40 Smile
The moms in her gan could be my own daughters.
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Ruchel




 
 
 
 

Post  Thu, Jan 23 2020, 3:08 pm
some of the moms in the class are grandmothers, others look super young, BH
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amother




Turquoise
 

Post  Thu, Jan 23 2020, 3:49 pm
amother [ Firebrick ] wrote:
That's a really unkind thing to say.

I think it's nice to put effort into looking nice for yourself and for your husband.

It's not just about your husbands perception of how you look- just feeling good about yourself and being in a good headspace can help your marriage.

But sure, any woman who tries to keep in shape for the benefit of her marriage should get on birth control ASAP. If you say so.

Agreed! DH is not really that into looks, but he appreciates when I make an effort, and even more, I feel so much more attractive and confident when I look good.
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amother




Taupe
 

Post  Thu, Jan 23 2020, 3:49 pm
amother [ Firebrick ] wrote:
BH. Well, that's unusual-
You must have a lot of household help to find time for the gym with 13 kids underfoot KAH.

With enough help and support, I see how how having many babies can be a super-rewarding experience. Many women don't have that sort of support.

Not really...you make time for what is important to you!
I only have 4 hours of cleaning help per week, 11 kids and I also go to the gym.
If we can find time for well check up, dentist app, pta and the other stuff we can also make time for the gym!!!
(I'm not saying it's easy, it's not! Wink )
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ewa-jo




 
 
 
 

Post  Thu, Jan 23 2020, 4:00 pm
This is how I feel about children....do you remember that scene in Schindler’s list where he’s saying goodbye to his workers and then he breaks down crying because he realized that if he had sold his car, his ring...etc he could have saved more lives? Yeah, that’s how I think I would feel. I’m only 43 (I have seven kids) and I am happy to take however many more will come. I can’t imagine what would be a trade off I could actually rationalize.... time, money, being tired.... yeah, none of those are as important.
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amother




Tan
 

Post  Thu, Jan 23 2020, 4:27 pm
amother [ Taupe ] wrote:
Not really...you make time for what is important to you!
I only have 4 hours of cleaning help per week, 11 kids and I also go to the gym.
If we can find time for well check up, dentist app, pta and the other stuff we can also make time for the gym!!!
(I'm not saying it's easy, it's not! Wink )


amother taupe, do you mind sharing your routine if I start a spinoff?
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amother




Plum
 

Post  Thu, Jan 23 2020, 4:47 pm
amother [ Taupe ] wrote:
Not really...you make time for what is important to you!
I only have 4 hours of cleaning help per week, 11 kids and I also go to the gym.
If we can find time for well check up, dentist app, pta and the other stuff we can also make time for the gym!!!
(I'm not saying it's easy, it's not! Wink )


Right but do you work?

Sometimes there is no time, or money.

Or good genes/ predisposition and luck for that matter.

I’m 25 - I have one child so far bh, got started late not out of choice and iyh hope to have many more so we will see where that will get me.

But I have several friends with more kids, and some that ppl think are ‘waiting’ that are desperately trying. Some that ppl think bounced back so quickly (lost all the weight) that are permanently deformed (prolapse). It’s all from hashem. While some ppl definitely want kids more than others we each have our own journey that effects us.

Not saying this to take away the greatness or the sacrifice of having your 13 kids. Just reminding you not everyone has your choices and that’s not just because of fertility, it’s Kochos parnassah temperament. I wince when my yeshivish siblings say things like ‘well it’s not like you wanted 10 to begin with’ — it’s not like I could’ve had them if I wanted either!
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amother




Tangerine
 

Post  Thu, Jan 23 2020, 5:57 pm
ewa-jo wrote:
I can’t imagine what would be a trade off I could actually rationalize.... time, money, being tired.... yeah, none of those are as important.


I can't either fathom giving up having more kids so I won't be tired...id rather have the baby....ill sleep when I'm past childbearing age...to each their own
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amother




Emerald
 

Post  Thu, Jan 23 2020, 5:59 pm
My 7th child was born when I was 37. I’m 39 now. I’d be open to one more if I conceived within the next year or two, but I think that’s it.
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onlyone




 
 
 
 

Post  Thu, Jan 23 2020, 7:02 pm
I had my last child at 37. She was my third child, and I'm now 43. We decided a few years later that we were done. We are MO.
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