Most awkward things people said to you

SixOfWands

Sun, Feb 02 2020, 11:04 am

FranticFrummie wrote:

Are we suddenly living in Saudi Arabia now? How was this woman allowed out of the house without a male escort in the first place? Hiding

<burqa

That woman could have been insanely wealthy, because she was the CEO of her own company, or a high powered attorney.

Maybe she was a recent widow, and this was the first time in a year that she's been able to buy new clothes. She may have lost a lot of weight during the mourning process.

It would be better to deal with returns, or have a solid return policy in place, than to risk insulting someone like that.

I would have been tempted to say something really snarky, and then walk out without paying for a thing.

She should have said, well, since I don’t have one, guess I’ll spend my money elsewhere. And I’ll be sure to tell my Wealthy [Widows] [Divorcees] Group they’re not welcome here.

amother

Puce

Sun, Feb 02 2020, 2:33 pm

You know, I read this thread to make sure I haven't put my foot in my mouth in the same way. Maybe I should write a few of the doozers I've said over the years. I honestly don't know how some things I've said have come out sounding so horrible when I certainly didn't mean to hurt anyone. I therefore have to give the benefit of the doubt when someone else says something nasty sounding. I assume they didn't really want or mean to insult/offend/hurt me. I'm sort of a quiet person in general so when I speak, people actually listen because I don't talk much. Sometimes, a certain situation comes up and I know I'm doomed no matter what I say. I just can't think of something neutral to say at the time, especially if I'm put on the spot. I hate social situations because I'm so afraid I'll say something that won't be taken well by accident. I try to say nothing sometimes but that's why I call myself a quiet person...

#BestBubby

Sun, Feb 02 2020, 3:23 pm

amother [ Puce ] wrote:

THIS!

When I get upset at the stupid things people say to me, I remind myself of the stupid things
I said to others and try to be Dan L'Kaf Z'chus.

Most of the time, the offender did not mean to hurt. We all put our foot in our mouths sometimes.

amother

Orchid

Sun, Feb 02 2020, 5:26 pm

My friend was showing me pictures of her family and she mentioned to me that one of her sisters won't leave the house without a full face of makeup because she's too insecure. I happen to wear a full face of makeup every day. I was a bit hurt but I ignored her comment. Banging head

Another time, this same friend told me that I have the hardest life and she feels so bad for me because I went through so much pain in my life and this was after I had a child and she was still waiting for kids at the time. I felt like such a nebach because she would literally say it to me almost every time we talked on the phone. She would go on and on and make me feel horrible about my life situation every time we talked. It was the last thing I wanted to hear....

amother

Orchid

Sun, Feb 02 2020, 5:28 pm

My mother in law talks about diets and losing weight constantly and I struggle with my weight and it really makes me so uncomfortable that she is constantly praising people who lose weight and obsesses over skinny people so much. She is forever trying to lose weight and it's her favorite topic of conversation and my worst topic for various reasons. Banging head

amother

Vermilion

Sun, Feb 02 2020, 5:37 pm

amother [ Blush ] wrote:

This didn’t happen to me but I witnessed it.
I was in a clothing store in Brooklyn waiting to pay for an item. The woman ahead of me was buying a lot, like an entire wardrobe. (She was a woman with a shaitel who looked about 40 years old) The man was ringing up piece after piece and the bill was getting high. Finally when the store owner was done and he saw the total he said, “I’m sorry, I can’t sell all this to you before you ask your husband if it’s okay.” The woman who was taking out her checkbook answered, “I’m not sure who you can ask because I don’t have a husband at the moment.” The store owner apologized and explained that it’s happened that sometimes husbands insist that their wives return clothing if they spent too much and they have even gotten angry at him for making the sale.
(I don’t think he will ever ask someone to check with her husband again after that)

I wonder if the store owner was afraid the check wouldn't be good, but didn't want the woman to feel like he was accusing her?

amother

Vermilion

Sun, Feb 02 2020, 5:41 pm

When our oldest ds was born, it was assumed he would be named after dh's father. However, we weren't able to do that as my father had the same name.

After the bris, people asked dh why ds wasn't named after his father. He explained that his FIL has the same name. They responded, Nu, I"h you'll have another opportunity! shock

amother

Purple

Sun, Feb 02 2020, 6:40 pm

I always heard of stories where people said stupid comments to others, but I never witnessed it.
Then, the one day a coworker told another single coworker, "oh, I guess you don't know what it's like because you haven't found your bashert yet". I was dumbfounded. I wish I could have said something back but in the moment I couldn't even find my tongue.

amother

Wine

Sun, Feb 02 2020, 6:50 pm

amother [ Orchid ] wrote:

Sounds like she has her own insecurities and is looking for someone to put down to feel better about herself. Ime, other than the just plain dumb and unthinking comments, putdowns like this almost always stem from the speaker's insecurities and low self esteem.

kenz

Sun, Feb 02 2020, 7:26 pm

amother [ Slategray ] wrote:

The yuckiest thing a “friend” told me was
Bh I never had a child like yours
Ouch

This one deserves a punch.in.the.face.
I would love to say I'd answer something like, "Baruch Hashem is right, I got her first!" but that's the type of thing that would occur to me after the fact.

amother

Cerulean

Sun, Feb 02 2020, 7:37 pm

I've said this story plenty times over so if you've heard it already...... Hi!!!!

I was at a wedding, during the meal, I was sitting with a few relatives and one of them pipes up to me: how many kids do you have?
I answered: 2
Relative: 2? Don't you have 3?
(Mind you this was after a second mis in a row and I had been farther along and had already put on maternity. This wedding was a couple months after)
Me: ummmm.... No, I have 2
Relative: oh no, you have 3
(I realized that she wasn't going to accept no as an answer and I wasnt in the mood of telling all the yentas at the table who were tuning in the story so....)
Me: listen relative, I dont know what to tell you, when I left home with the babysitter there, there were 2 kids, maybe a 3rd one popped up out of nowhere, I will find out when I go home, but as of right now, there's 2 kids waiting for me.
She zipped it and changed topics

I took that idea from a diff relative of mine. This is going back more than 30 years when payphone cost a dime. He was waiting on line at the pizza store and someone who had walked in tells him very loudly: heyyyyy..... I know you! Your name is so and so and you just got divorced. Relative was like huh? Im not that guy and Im not divorced. The other guy just kept arguing back that he is that guy who just got divorced!! Relative realized the whole store stood still and was waiting an answer so he tells the guy: listen, when I left my house to come here, I know I was still married. Give me a dime, lemme call my wife, maybe she decided to divorce me in the meantime that I went out!!
You can bet that guy closed his mouth!

amother

Vermilion

Sun, Feb 02 2020, 7:43 pm

amother [ Gold ] wrote:

Having a policy to double check checks is not offensive. Checking with the husband is always offensive.

I'm not justifying, I agree that was a dumb thing to say. He should have a policy not to take checks, or not to take checks more than x amount, unless a certified bank check (not sure how to double check personal checks though?)

amother

Maroon

Sun, Feb 02 2020, 9:17 pm

amother [ Blush ] wrote:

Sorry ladies. shaming a single woman is a terrible offense, but we are doing something wrong as a society that too many ladies are causing their husbands to age prematurely because of their "shopping". Ask any social service agency in any Jewish neighborhood....
(For the record, if I would be the storekeeper I would give the lady a huge discount for shaming her)
but women have literally destroy husbands in subtle ways.

amother

Scarlet

Sun, Feb 02 2020, 9:38 pm

When I was single , I had multiple surgeries on my foot and was in and out of a cast over a year .
I went to a wedding and a shadchan who came over to our (single friends table) told me I should stay inside until my foot heals or no one will want to marry me. (Never mind that this was a close friends wedding and it wasn't just a few weeks , better to hide).
Along the same lines , I get yelled at for walking in public in a sneaker . (Again while I was off balance and walking with crutches and needed the support ).
A coworker redd me a boy who had a foot amputated. I asked him why he thought of it- he told me maybe you will also never heal and it would be so cute to be a couple with both of you in wheel chairs . Then you won't have to make your house handicapped friendly because this boys already is .

notshanarishona

Sun, Feb 02 2020, 9:40 pm

[quote="amother [ Maroon ]"]Sorry ladies. shaming a single woman is a terrible offense, but we are doing something wrong as a society that too many ladies are causing their husbands to age prematurely because of their "shopping". Ask any social service agency in any Jewish neighborhood...."

This deserves a spin off but many women are earning the money they are spending . It's not like the husband's are the breadwinner and the women are just shopping all day .
Yes - someone who is on programs shouldn't buy luxury stuff but that applies equally to men and women . It's not us women as a whole who are turning our hard-working husband's gray.