High school suspends 22 girls for ticktoc

amother

Ivory

Sat, Feb 15 2020, 6:47 pm

amother [ Blonde ] wrote:

If you decide that an academic or financial fit is more important than whether the hashkafas align then that's a choice you have made and you need to adapt your practices to fit with the school rules. It's as simple as that.

All BY schools are the same hashkafically and then there is one MO school. Your family's overall values, life, and outside appearance align with BY schools. There's NO PERFECT fit anywhere. I have no idea what school the OP is talking about, but I'm willing to bet they DIDN'T expel every single girl with ticktoc

amother

Dodgerblue

Sat, Feb 15 2020, 6:50 pm

amother [ Burgundy ] wrote:

People don't choose which schools to send their kids to. The schools select the students, and because school is mandatory, parents have no choice but to send to whatever school accepts.

Maybe in your world, but not in mine. I don't see how your comment makes sense, expect maybe in Lakewood, where I learned here, where not everyone gets into a school and you need to be happy just to get into one.
In my world, you apply to the schools you are interested in going to, they accept you if they want you (or you got negotiated in by your Elementary School Principal) and then you pick from those that accepted you. You (your parents) wouldn't apply to a school which is not aligned with your family's haskafa, and you follow the school's rules.
My DDs don't go to BY for a reason, as it is not consistent with my haskafa and what I want for them. Their school rules are consistent with our family rules, and my children are expected to abide by them.

amother

Burgundy

Sat, Feb 15 2020, 6:52 pm

amother [ Dodgerblue ] wrote:

I don't see how your comment makes sense, expect maybe in Lakewood, where I learned here, where not everyone gets into a school and you need to be happy just to get into one.

I'm not from Lakewood. Maybe you're just one of the lucky ones that is the type that all the schools want.

Ema of 5

Sat, Feb 15 2020, 6:54 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

But think about it. 22 girls (out of 300) were suspended. It stands to reason that many girls have tictok accounts, Instagram, Facebook, use social media, and weren't caught. My point is that in reality a large portion of the parent body is just fine with all this social media. It the few people who run the school that are against it.

So let’s not have ANY rules, because hey will all be broken by someone anyway....
Parents can be fine with whatever they are fine with, but they ALSO need to teach their kids that hey need to follow the school rules. My daughter wants something that many of her friends have. I won’t get it for her, even bough I see nothing wrong with it, simply because the school says no.

amother

Ivory

Sat, Feb 15 2020, 6:58 pm

Ema of 4 wrote:

It's stupid to have rules that the majority breaks and schools know it. Of course, schools are afraid for their image and being seen as more modern.

amother

Goldenrod

Sat, Feb 15 2020, 7:02 pm

Op, I hear what you are saying but just because the parents are okay with an idea does not mean the school should be.
I myself have social media and my daughter is in a more modern school and has social media as well and I do not mind it. (I have access to all accounts). However, If my daughter was in a more frum school and the rules stated certain things like no tic toc she would not be allowed. Same as following a dress code of the school. You go into the school knowing it’s rules. If you have a problem with it at the end of year you and other parents can gather and discuss with the board to maybe change a rule that upcoming year.

amother

Sat, Feb 15 2020, 7:06 pm

Ema of 4 wrote:

You're obviously taking my point completely out of context. I'm saying that it's reasonable that half the parent body in this particular school is ok with social media. It's a 5towns school and if so many girls were caught, it's very likely many weren't caught. This is not an example were 1 or 2 girls or families have hashkafa not in line with the vast majority.

A few years ago my sons menahel sent out an email informing parents that any boy absent as a result of overextending midwinter break will be suspended. When more the half the students were absent on the first day back, the yeshiva just abandoned the rule.

amother

Crimson

Sat, Feb 15 2020, 7:12 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

In general, I think schools tend to go overboard on rules, but I believe that social media is very harmful for teenagers. I have seen how wrapped up their self-worth is in it and obsessed over how many likes and views they get. That’s not even dealing with all the inappropriate stuff.

amother

Coral

Sat, Feb 15 2020, 7:14 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

A few years ago my sons menahel sent out an email informing parents that any boy absent as a result of overextending midwinter break will be suspended. When more the half the students were absent on the first day back, the yeshiva just abandoned the rule.

Thereby saying it's ok if you don't listen to us. You don't have to follow our rules. Get majority of school to not follow and it'll be ok.

amother

Floralwhite

Sat, Feb 15 2020, 7:23 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Extending a vacation and allowing underage girls to join a social media app that can consuming their days and nights seem like two different things. But I'm not the administration so I'm not the one that need to decide if this is the hill I will die on.

Look like this high school is willing to say it is. And good for them. Tic Toc is a video streaming social media app. You can follow who you like and post whatever you like for the world to see. The app is like a worldwide talent show where you can post videos of yourself lipsyncing and dancing. And you can see videos of others doing the same. I can only imagine the filth available.

and is it really reasonable that 22 girls were caught but really there are 150 girls that have it?

And if the parents really saw the app in action they would be OK with it? half the parent body is ok with Tik Tok? They're ok with their daughters singing along to music with explicit lyrics and dancing provocatively?

amother

Periwinkle

Sat, Feb 15 2020, 7:28 pm

Wow I am astounded at the chutzpah some people have! You send to a school and it’s THEIR problem they have standards you don’t agree with? Who do you think you are?? It’s a private institution!
Some people have no RESPECT. That’s what it all boils down to. You don’t have to agree with the rules to follow them. You have to respect their right to have rules, and recognize that it’s your responsibility to follow them.

amother

Burgundy

Sat, Feb 15 2020, 7:43 pm

amother [ Periwinkle ] wrote:

Would you say the same if they had rules you didn't agree with? They have just as much right to make a rule forbidding cholov yisroel or requiring students to lick their math books.

notshanarishona

Sat, Feb 15 2020, 7:45 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

But think about it. 22 girls (out of 300) were suspended. It stands to reason that many girls have tictok accounts, Instagram, Facebook, use social media, and weren't caught. My point is that in reality a large portion of the parent body is just fine with all this social media. It's the few people who run the school that are against it.

The people who run the school choose the rules - the parent body has to conform to it or shape out . I don't understand what the question is.

amother

Green

Sat, Feb 15 2020, 7:45 pm

amother [ Burgundy ] wrote:

Would you say the same if they had rules you didn't agree with? They have just as much right to make a rule forbidding cholov yisroel or requiring students to lick their math books.

Oh god, you gotta be kidding.
What does licking math books gotta do with chinuch and hashkafa??

amother

Cerise

Sat, Feb 15 2020, 7:49 pm

amother [ Ivory ] wrote:

Your students posted their videos in bikinis?? Are these frum girls or not?

Regarding the OP, I bet girls with ticktoc and rich parents/related to hanhala weren't suspended.

Responding as a parent in the school. One of the things we respect most about this school is that the hanhala does not care what your last name is or how much money you gave to the school. If you can't abide by the rules, you are respectfully asked to leave.

The principal tries very hard to only set rules into place that can be enforced. This incident does not reflect well on the school, but the statement was made- rules were created, you were warned, given multiple opportunities to make things right, and you didn't respond - sorry! There are other schools in the neighborhood more aligned with your hashkafa. You are welcome to send there.

Ema of 5

Sat, Feb 15 2020, 7:49 pm

amother [ Burgundy ] wrote:

Would you say the same if they had rules you didn't agree with? They have just as much right to make a rule forbidding cholov yisroel or requiring students to lick their math books.

I wouldn’t send my kid to a school that has a rule requiring students to kick their math book. My kids schools all have chalav Yisrael requirements, and while we are not makpid, I make sure that everything I buy for school is chalav Yisrael. Like I said before, I won’t get something for my daughter, even though, lots of her friends have it, because the school doesn’t want the girls to have it. If she wears nail polish for a simcha or chag, I try to make sure it’s off before she goes to school. There will always be rules you don’t agree with. The question is how do you approach it, and how you address it with your child.

amother

Floralwhite

Sat, Feb 15 2020, 7:57 pm

amother [ Burgundy ] wrote:

Would you say the same if they had rules you didn't agree with? They have just as much right to make a rule forbidding cholov yisroel or requiring students to lick their math books.

The rules are in place before these parents come along. You can't join a school or anything bfor that matter and then expect it to bend to meet your standards. This is the group you're joining. You have to meet their expectations. And in addition. No social media is a rule for the physical, mental, and spiritual safety of the entire school. Not just your child. And the examples you are giving are arbitrary. But let's say my school decided that they would start teaching zex Ed. You better believe I'll be finding a way to LEAVE as fast as I can. Not just sucking it up and following the rules. Leaving because it's not in alignment with our hashkafa and the original ideals that I felt the school ascribed to. But if it's something like an extra half hour a day for gym or something. I'd get over it and move on.

amother

Forestgreen

Sat, Feb 15 2020, 8:00 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

You must be sending your kids to very interesting schools.

22 girls disregarding rules.

Half of yeshiva disregarding rules.

OP, where on earth is this? Ans why are people sending to schools they don't agree with?