Should every household have a set of shas?

Angolama

Fri, Jun 26 2020, 9:43 am

amother [ Seashell ] wrote:

I think this really depends on the situation.
I think that buying a shas for a chosson is not necessary. It costs alot of money. Here in Israel, my kids in yeshiva buy a small version of whichever mesechta they are learning in cheder or yeshiva. It doesn't have to be a whole set and I think that the expense is unjustified, if parents are struggling to pay for a wedding.
Where I am coming from: We bought a beautiful Shas for our son in law. When they separated, we got the shas back in its original package, untouched.
I don't think we need to keep doing things just because this is the norm. Things will be different next time around.

If you are asking if a family should run out and buy a Shas, just to have, in case someone wants to open it up - I don't think so. There are so many other seforim that one can have and learn. Seforim that may give someone Cheshek (desire) to go out and learn Shas. Don't buy something just to have it.

Hatzlacha.

I'm so sorry to hear about your daughter. Hope she finds the right one quickly and has a happy beautiful marriage and life. May you have much nachas from them and your entire family.

I agree with you conceptually about the need to cut down wedding expenses. However, I would put the Shas pretty low on the list of things to be cut out. I would personally faster cut down on flowers, hall, guest list, menu, shabbos Sheva brachos expenses, gown costs, chosson watch, cufflinks, vort costs, mother and siblings gown costs, sheitel costs, linen and furniture costs, ect. There are so many tens of thousands of dollars spent on things so much more frivolous, conformist, and ephemeral than a Shas that your children can build a life around.

I guess a lot of this is cultural and a matter of priorities.

zaq

Fri, Jun 26 2020, 10:47 am

Not if it's not going to be used. Better to spend the money on sefarim that will be used. In any case, nobody studies all of shas at once, and shas costs big bucks. Why not buy one volume at a time, and if it looks like they're getting a lot of use and will continue to do so, and money and space are no object, then, and only then, spring for the whole set.

And, yes, if you have small children and open bookshelves, well, gemaras are big tall volumes that have to go on the lowest shelves. you know the little tykes can't resist the lure of pulling books off shelves. Cramming the books tightly so the kinder can't grab them will shorten the shelf life (hahahaha) of both the books and the bookcase.

malki2

Fri, Jun 26 2020, 12:22 pm

1. There happens to be a long-standing minhag to buy a chosson a Shas.
2. Even if most of it is not learned, displaying it in a prominent place in the house sends a message that this is what is important to us as a Jewish family. The same way that other people display silver or crystal or trophies.
3. In my experiences (speaking generally, and I’m sure that there are exceptions), the families who don’t care to have a Shas in their house because it will not be learned, usually do not do so for lack of finances. In place of the Shas, there are usually very expensive furnishings or cars or bottles of scotch.
4. Why should anyone say: I will never learn Shas? Especially with Daf Yomi, the learning of Shas by the common Jew has become completely attainable. Even if he doesn’t learn it yet, hopefully he will look at an individual Gemara now and then, and he could always hope to start learning Daf Yomi sometime in the future!

Last edited by malki2 on Fri, Jun 26 2020, 1:50 pm; edited 1 time in total

samantha87

Fri, Jun 26 2020, 12:54 pm

amother [ Jade ] wrote:

We have multiple sets, but the truth is that in the age of the smartphone,, we're all carrying a Shas around every day but shabbos, anyway.

There's a story that a family came to Rav Herzog for guidance about what to write on their father's matzeva. His first yahrzeit was approaching, and somehow, they just couldn't bring themselves to do it. As they were leaving, a woman came in who knew the family. She said that by chance she had been at the house when the father had written his own epitaph. (A very beautiful one about how he believed without a doubt that Hashem would return His people to their land, and if he did not merit to see a Jewish state, then surely his children would. The state was founded within months after his death. Anyhow...) After he wrote it, he tucked it into his Mishna, in the spot in מסכת שבת where he was learning.

The children looked, and lo and behold, there it was. They asked Rabbi Herzog if he thought there was something lemaala min hateva in the coincidence of the woman coming exactly then and knowing where to look.

Rav Herzog answered dryly that the only thing lemaala min hateva here was that a set of mishnayos had been sitting on the shelf for a year without being opened.

I love this story!!!

Yes, shas is very important up there with chumash and mishnayos, but like others have said, if it is just gathering dust there are other things to spend on.

ShishKabob

Fri, Jun 26 2020, 5:01 pm

avrahamama wrote:

Books are different than sefarim. And a very small house where kids can reach and rip everything might not be ideal for sefarim.

im going to respectfully disagree with you. A house should have seforim no matter what. My kids got initiated into toddlerhood by finally being able to get those huge gemaras out of the bottom bookshelf and succeeding to rip a page before they were caught and apprehended! Lol!
I think it adds a certain something to the atmosphere of the home that is missing without them.
I'm not talking about the whole shas thing here.
I actually miss seeing those huge tomes on the table as they have been replaced with a lap top.

ShishKabob

Fri, Jun 26 2020, 5:20 pm

This thread reminds me of a typical story where there were two girls that were friends. One girl was so embarrassed that in her house the seforim were very used and worn and didn't have a matching set and her friends house had this perfect looking matching set in brand new condition. Years later she knows to cherish her fathers old and very used set and she finds out that the perfect girl was embarrassed that her fathers set was never used.
Well well

malki2

Fri, Jun 26 2020, 5:52 pm

ShishKabob wrote:

A used, worn-out set beats a new set any day. But a new set beats a wide-screen TV any day.

avrahamama

Fri, Jun 26 2020, 7:28 pm

ShishKabob wrote:

You're right. It's good for the kids to see sefarim I'm the house. And my husband never took a sefer away from a kid until they started ripping. Bless him. But it's too much for me to deal with right now. They're all a year and change apart and I have enough ripped sefarim in the house.

shabbatiscoming

Sat, Jun 27 2020, 3:50 pm

malki2 wrote:

I am very sad that that is your experience. I have seen lovely frum homes where it just was not in anyone's budget to buy them or the chatan did not want a full set and wanted to buy them as he learned them. And no expensive anythings or liquor in site. Smile

Its not one or the other. There is always an in between Smile

malki2

Sat, Jun 27 2020, 10:59 pm

shabbatiscoming wrote:

Its not one or the other. There is always an in between Smile

A very nice small set of Shas costs $300. Who does not have $300 in their budget over the course of a number of years?

shabbatiscoming

Sun, Jun 28 2020, 7:14 am

malki2 wrote:

A very nice small set of Shas costs $300. Who does not have $300 in their budget over the course of a number of years?

Over the course of a number of years sure. But first of all, the way the OP posted, it was asked as a whole set of shas all together and second of all, if a man knows he is not going to learn the entire 38 volume set, why the need for the whole thing? There are so many different sfarim that a jewish home can have that enhance it as well.
Its not really about the cost of the set, in my opinion, but about if they will use it and some men just dont want a whole set.

malki2

Sun, Jun 28 2020, 9:24 am

shabbatiscoming wrote:

So even if you think you won’t learn it all, it’s still very important as a reference. There are important Gemarot all over Shas. Just think, how would you have been able to quote your favorite Gemara without having a Mesechet Nedarim? 😉

shabbatiscoming

Sun, Jun 28 2020, 9:27 am

malki2 wrote:

Malki2, I did not look that up in the actual gemara but in the notes from the shiur that I heard about that topic. (copied pages from the gemara) Smile

We do not have an entire set of shas at home. My husband wanted them as he decided to learn them (he did not grow up frum so did not learn gemara his whole life).
But we have many other great sfarim on our shelves.

malki2

Sun, Jun 28 2020, 9:36 am

shabbatiscoming wrote:

Malki2, I did not look that up in the actual gemara but in the notes from the shiur that I heard about that topic. (copied pages from the gemara) Smile

Ok I guess to each his/her own. 🙂