If you weren't Jewish, how would your life be different?

amother

Coral

Wed, Jul 29 2020, 8:25 am

100%.
Bh I am very happy being jewish, I love having a connection to Hashem, and I love my family, and I know that right now my job is to be home as much as I can and provide a warm and nurturing home for my family.
But I also would love a more exciting and stimulating job! And as a frum mother, my options are limited!
Altho, iyh, once my kids get older, I hope to go back to school and become aomething professional. Bh I have brains, and I hope that when I will not be needed so much at home all day, I can put it to good use!!

ora_43

Wed, Jul 29 2020, 8:29 am

As for me, I'm with amother-Plum. I'd convert - but after taking the time to eat at some non-Jewish friends' houses, maybe do some extremely non-shabbosdik activities on Shabbat.

That's if I suddenly was un-Jewished, somehow.

If I hadn't been Jewish ever, at any point in life? No idea. In Israel, the non-Jewish communities tend to be more restrictive in a lot of ways than the Jewish ones (albeit less restrictive in others). Assuming America, probably university, a job, eventual marriage...

I think I'm too "well, actually..." minded to answer this question in a fun way LOL

. I keep thinking things like, "OK, but in reality if I were my age and still single, I wouldn't be traveling western Africa, I'd be trying to find someone to have kids with before it was too late." Or, "OK but let's face it, having kids was only an excuse, my career would be... shall we say, eclectic... either way."

I'd have more restaurants to choose from and more potential activities on Shabbat, although I'd probably insist on a "no technology day" either way. Hmm... bathing suits are out no matter what, the problems with me in a bikini go way beyond the official rules of tznius. Tank tops, too; I burn too easily. I'm not friendly enough to have a string of boyfriends, and the kind of men I could have one-night stands with are the type I'd prefer to avoid.

I think maybe I'm destined to be equally boring in any version of reality LOL

amother

Plum

Wed, Jul 29 2020, 8:30 am

amother [ Brunette ] wrote:

I can’t imagine keeping Easter not Pesach though, it is really hard for me to envisage.

As someone who was Catholic and became a Lubavitcher, I"ll break it down for you.

You go to church, endure about 30 minutes of the priest solemnly telling you the story of how the 'Pharisees' (aka Jews, although it's not PC to say anymore) killed Yeshu. Some churches do reenactments where those present play the angry Jewish mob and cry "crucify him!" at the relevant intervals. Then you go home and stuff yourself with a roast dinner and Easter eggs.

The only thing I'm sorry for today is all the pesach cleaning and the yearly near-starvation Pesach entails because I didn't grow up with all these chumrot and have no idea how to cook something decent which is KLP for Lubavitchers. My poor family...!!

ora_43

Wed, Jul 29 2020, 8:31 am

amother [ Coral ] wrote:

Is there no career tarck that you wish you could take, yet being a frum woman has kind of hindered you?

As much as I would love to wear shorts, I really would like to switch careers. Yet have you ever heard of a frum mother being a police officer or member of intelligence??????
Especially where I live, career choices for frum women are extremely limited. Extremely.
And if you do know how I can join the police force, PLEASE LET ME KNOW!!!!!

Frum policewoman (article is in Hebrew, sorry).

No idea how it would work where you live. (I'm assuming it's not Israel.)

amother

Brunette

Wed, Jul 29 2020, 8:34 am

amother [ Plum ] wrote:

Hi, very interesting. I actually know HOW to keep Easter as I grew up secular and had lots of non-Jewish friends including the daughter of a Vicar! I just know I wouldn’t be able to keep Easter or believe in J*sus as a saviour vs Pesach etc because being Jewish is so ingrained in me. Don’t worry, you will always have potatoes on Pesach. LOL

amother

Plum

Wed, Jul 29 2020, 8:36 am

amother [ Brunette ] wrote:

Hi, very interesting. I actually know HOW to keep Easter as I grew up secular and had lots of non-Jewish friends including the daughter of a priest! I just know I wouldn’t be able to keep Easter or believe in J*sus as a saviour vs Pesach etc because being Jewish is so ingrained in me. Don’t worry, you will always have potatoes on Pesach. LOL

Whenever I read something like that I do a double take before reminding myself that there are non-Catholic Christians too lol.

Potatoes were ALL we had. Luckily my Irish background means I'm an expert in preparing potatoes Wink

chanchy123

Wed, Jul 29 2020, 8:37 am

It’s so interesting that so many of you feel your career choice was limited because of being Jewish I can think of very few careers that Jewish women can’t do, tattoo artist and [filth] stars for instance. Do you not know Jewish women who are doctors and lawyers academics scientists and even in law enforcement? I know observant Jewish women who do all these careers and more. I think it’s more of a choice to belong to a certain type of Jewish society and the choice to have many children and be a SAHM or part time working mom.

PinkFridge

Wed, Jul 29 2020, 8:37 am

I have a hard time wrapping my head around this question. It seems like if a circle were square. Who would my parents have been? Where would I have gone to school? So many environmental variables.

I do often think to myself, what if my grandparents wouldn't have been able to hold on to Shabbos? Would I be a baal teshuva? I'd probably be Jewish. My father's generation didn't marry out as much.
Or, what if my grandparents would have stayed in Europe but survived, maybe by going into Russia. Would we have been trapped there? Would we have kept mesorah? When or would we have left? To where? How old would I be?

I can't really answer the OP.

PinkFridge

Wed, Jul 29 2020, 8:41 am

amother [ Plum ] wrote:

The only thing I'm sorry for today is all the pesach cleaning and the yearly near-starvation Pesach entails because I didn't grow up with all these chumrot and have no idea how to cook something decent which is KLP for Lubavitchers. My poor family...!!

I was standing in line at a produce store I sometimes go to (great store but a bit of a drive) behind a Lubavitcher a few days before Pesach. She was buying cases of beautiful fruits and vegetables. I get the impression that Pesach for the strictest is very labor intensive, repetitive, simple, but really wholesome. No one should starve. Kol hakavod for maintaining the mesorah you chose.

PinkFridge

Wed, Jul 29 2020, 8:43 am

amother [ Brunette ] wrote:

It's very possible you wouldn't be able to accept him. Maybe you would have been one of those souls who was destined to join/return to the Jewish people. But given the right environment, and a healthy happy but religious family and pleasant experiences in church? How does anyone know?

amother

Coral

Wed, Jul 29 2020, 8:50 am

chanchy123 wrote:

I know, but right now im choosing to put my family first before my own career choices. Kids will only stay small once, and then once theyre older, ill iyh have some time to devote to my career.
I do work part time, but then im home with my kids having fun with them. Right now, I cannot be a police officer. Altho once my kids get older... watch this space!

amother

Gray

Wed, Jul 29 2020, 8:55 am

Jewish, or frum? There's a difference. Some of the things that I think would be different would be just as different if I were a secular Jew.

You can't know or even have a very good idea because you have no experience being other than what you are. Of course if you're a giyoret you know exactly because you've been there.

I've always believed that had I been brought up a devout Catholic, Hindu or Moslem I would be as strict or lax a Catholic, Hindu or Moslem as I am a Jew. I say Catholic as opposed to Christian because Catholicism has a far greater burden of rite, ritual and obligation than most Protestantism and is therefore more analogous. Most of us believe or reject what we're taught to believe or reject. Very few really think it all out. Gerim, I assume, are people who thought it out.

As a Catholic I might have no religious objection to wearing sleeveless or slacks, but I would probably still not wear decollete tops, tight clothing, or a lot of makeup. It's just not me. And given what we know about sun and skin cancer, I would probably avoid sleeveless clothing anyway.

Being able to eat anywhere is huge. I'm a miser, so chances are I'd brown-bag it most of the time anyway, but it sure would be nice to be able to eat real food on the road and not have to rely on potato chips and candy bars because those are the only things with a hechsher. And the dating possibilities! I went to a secular coed college, and remember thinking that if I weren't Jewish, every guy in every class would be a potential date. OTOH, what opportunity for depression, if no one were interested! the thought of a junior or senior prom and all the angst involved...who needs it?

Would I have chosen a different profession? Possibly, but doubtful. I never had a hankering to be an ocean biologist or Antarctic explorer or other lines of work that are difficult for someone who is kosher and shomer shabbos. I rejected acting as a career possibility when I was very young, not because it was inappropriate but because I saw how few actresses have stable lifelong marriages. I never had the looks or talent to be a model, singer or ballerina.

The biggest thing, I think, would be not having to worry about antisemitism and not having to think that everything I do or say reflects on my whole nation. It would be nice to be able to just be without having to worry about repercussions if I put a foot wrong or if someone doesn't like me.

amother

Tan

Wed, Jul 29 2020, 9:03 am

amother [ Coral ] wrote:

Those are all considerations non-Jewish women have too.

In any case, I'm with chancy on this one. Maybe because I live in Israel, but I can't see that frum women are prevented from entering almost any career - there are frum female doctors, lawyers, soldiers, principals, hi tech employees - everything.

The only fields frum women in Israel are truly limited are performance. It's just not the same when you limit yourself to singing only in front of half the population. Hard to make a living that way.