 |
|
 |
 |
|
|
Forum
-> Relationships
-> Manners & Etiquette
happy chick
|
 Tue, Aug 11 2020, 4:05 pm
|
Depends on the neighbor. Most neigbors in my building will nod as acknowledgement or say good shabbos/yt, some will actually have a little conversation (but the wife will ignore you).
| |
|
| Back to top |
 0
 1
|
PeanutMama
|
Tue, Aug 11 2020, 4:16 pm
LOL I babysit and when the father is the baby comes home he sometimes makes small conversation.
I try my best to keep my answers very short
Nowadays if he says hello or goodbye I simply nod.
It’s double awkward because there’s a door to the living room and it’s closed when I’m there so I’m basically alone with the baby and my son
The parents step in sometimes but sometimes they come separately.
I always look up at the mother and smile and say hello and make small conversation.
But when the dad comes in and I look up and automatically smile it’s like AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH
It’s a deeply ingrained habit🙈🙈🙈
| |
|
| Back to top |
4
1
|
PeanutMama
|
Tue, Aug 11 2020, 4:18 pm
But I never see my male neighbors lol. If I do they walk past me and we just ignore each other.
The women say hello amongst themselves
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
1
|
|
amother
Powderblue
|
Tue, Aug 11 2020, 4:20 pm
| yidisheh mama wrote: | My jewish, (chassidish) male neighbors would not appreciate it if I would greet them. It would put them in an awkward spot. Many of them make sure not to make eye contact with women that aren't related to them. It is un-neighborly to do something that puts a neighbor into an uncomfortable situation, so I therefore don't greet them.
The non-Jewish male neighbors, though, appreciate being greeted, so the neighborly, polite thing to do is to greet them. |
Similar over here. I have a very Yeshivish neighbor that never talks to me, only to my husband if we're together. So I never, ever greet him. If I see him with his wife or kids, I"ll say hi to the wife or kids. I know he doesn't talk to women and I'm super fine with that. Doesn't bother me in the least.
I have a non jewish neighbor who lives around the block. He has dogs he walks when I walk my kids in the stroller. We are friendly and always say hi to each other. I know he appreciates it and I don't think it's a problem to say hi to him or make conversation.
Now...the in-between... I also have a frum male neighbor on the block who isn't yeshivish or chassidish. He always says hi, so I say hi back. I'll even say hi first (gasp) if I see him before he sees me. He's a friendly guy, says hi to everyone. So everyone says Hi back.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
15
|
|
amother
Royalblue
|
Tue, Aug 11 2020, 4:24 pm
|
To my older male neighbour, I do nod, maybe also a good morning. If my neighbour looks at me, I will nod. If they avert their eyes, I also do.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
3
|
|
amother
Azure
|
Tue, Aug 11 2020, 4:24 pm
| amother [ OP ] wrote: | My dh brought this up to me and I looked around and see it's true.
I live in a neighborhood with lots of frum ppl and also lots of non-Jews. The frum women who live on my block (and in the general area) say hello to the non-Jewish men when they meet outside, and sometimes have a short conversation. For example, how are you, what do you think of this weather etc.
On the other hand, when they meet a Jewish man, they ignore him completely. No hello, no nod, nothing.
My husband is not looking to be friends with them, but he wonders why he's treated like he doesn't exist. "Why are Jewish men are treated worse than non-Jewish men? Why no common courtesy?"
Can anyone explain? |
Is “say hello” a euphemism for s*x? 🤔
| |
|
| Back to top |
2
9
|
|
amother
Rose
|
Tue, Aug 11 2020, 4:26 pm
I'm "Yeshivish" I guess and I find this whole thing super awkward.
Maybe because my parents are BT's and always greeted neighbors.
I'm a naturally friendly person. I have a hard time not greeting people. I usually nod or something. I hate when people davka avoid eye contact with me. It's weird.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
4
|
|
amother
Orchid
|
Tue, Aug 11 2020, 4:42 pm
| amother [ OP ] wrote: | My dh brought this up to me and I looked around and see it's true.
I live in a neighborhood with lots of frum ppl and also lots of non-Jews. The frum women who live on my block (and in the general area) say hello to the non-Jewish men when they meet outside, and sometimes have a short conversation. For example, how are you, what do you think of this weather etc.
On the other hand, when they meet a Jewish man, they ignore him completely. No hello, no nod, nothing.
My husband is not looking to be friends with them, but he wonders why he's treated like he doesn't exist. "Why are Jewish men are treated worse than non-Jewish men? Why no common courtesy?"
Can anyone explain? |
Yes it’s simple, the Torah says lo sarbeh sicha Im ha’isha
| |
|
| Back to top |
2
8
|
|
amother
Azure
|
Tue, Aug 11 2020, 5:11 pm
| amother [ Orchid ] wrote: | | Yes it’s simple, the Torah says lo sarbeh sicha Im ha’isha |
I’m a BT and before I was frum, all my close friends were male. Not being able to socialize with men is awful for me.
| |
|
| Back to top |
14
2
|
zaq
|
Tue, Aug 11 2020, 5:11 pm
| amother [ Orchid ] wrote: | | Yes it’s simple, the Torah says lo sarbeh sicha Im ha’isha |
Greeting someone by saying "Good morning" as you pass is hardly marbeh-ing sicha. It's not sicha at all. It's being mekabel et kol haadam besever panim yafot. Or as you would say, beseiver ponim yofose.
That being said, I'm fine with men not saying hello. The less I interact with people who see me as either less than human or as an agent of Satan, the better. But like a PP, I'm not fine with them being maalim einayim when I'm coming into the building struggling to open the door while carrying a heavy load or pushing a carriage.
IME it's not the truly pious men who act this way; it's the amoratzim who want to be thought of as tzaddikim who do. The rov who lives in my building always nods politely when we pass each other. He's not holding any doors for me, but given that he's in his 90s and frail, I'm the one holding doors for him.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
23
|
naturalmom5
|
Tue, Aug 11 2020, 5:14 pm
Let me end this thread that we have had too many times..
A large percentage, particularly the under 30, Chas/Yeshivish crowd have traded in authentic Judiasm for being weird..
Its an awful lot easier than opening a sefer and being scrupulously honest and ehlich..
Another group are just painfully shy, its hard enough to talk to other women.
Most women, from my generation, especially if they grew up secular or OOT,
Just say good morning... 
Ok, we can lock this thread now before too many otherwise nice ImaMothers are offended...
| |
|
| Back to top |
4
11
|
lamplighter
|
Tue, Aug 11 2020, 5:16 pm
|
I usually nod to my frum neighbors. I do not engage in conversation (unless I need something specific) because they would feel uncomfortable. Its as simple as that.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
3
|
naturalmom5
|
Tue, Aug 11 2020, 5:18 pm
| amother [ Orchid ] wrote: | | Yes it’s simple, the Torah says lo sarbeh sicha Im ha’isha |
Pardon my ignorance what does sarbeh mean ???
Can you post a source...
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
2
|
|
amother
Firebrick
|
Tue, Aug 11 2020, 5:18 pm
| amother [ OP ] wrote: | | I tried to tell him something like this and he was offended |
My dh also gets offended 
Really I tried to explain it to him not to take it personally... he won’t get it...
| |
|
| Back to top |
1
0
|
|
amother
Jetblack
|
Tue, Aug 11 2020, 5:20 pm
|
I live OOT, most people here will at least nod a Good Shabbos to each other, including to someone of the opposite s_x.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
4
|
malki2
|
Tue, Aug 11 2020, 5:39 pm
| amother [ Burlywood ] wrote: | Because you DH, all Frum men in fact, will be very turned on and spill seed if one says hello or acknowledge their existence. This is because if a Frum woman says hello, we all know that she is not being courteous, but rather hitting on your husband and destroying your SB.
Non Frum people on the other hand:
Take your pick-
1) we don't care if they waste seed or ruin their SB
2) they don't think a person saying hello is hitting on them.
3) we don't want to insult them and cause a Chillul Hashem by not saying hello because they live in a world where common courtesy is the norm. |
Why are the trolls always named Burlywood? Is your actual SN Burlywood?
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
8
|
|
amother
Copper
|
Tue, Aug 11 2020, 5:47 pm
| Hashem_n_Farfel wrote: | LOL I babysit and when the father is the baby comes home he sometimes makes small conversation.
I try my best to keep my answers very short
Nowadays if he says hello or goodbye I simply nod.
It’s double awkward because there’s a door to the living room and it’s closed when I’m there so I’m basically alone with the baby and my son
The parents step in sometimes but sometimes they come separately.
I always look up at the mother and smile and say hello and make small conversation.
But when the dad comes in and I look up and automatically smile it’s like AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH
It’s a deeply ingrained habit🙈🙈🙈 |
You're allowed to smile!. Just dont add a wink ;-)
You're allowed to say hello. Just don't inquire about their rash their wife was telling you about.
Even in chasidish circles. It's ok to acknowledge the presence of people you know. Just not to engage in small talk.
At least that's what I've picked up from my time with my chasidish friends.
But in any case. Why bother feeling insulted for such a small thing. So ignore each other. Whatever. Who cares. It's fine. There are bigger issues that need to be addressed...
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
4
|
FranticFrummie
|
Tue, Aug 11 2020, 5:51 pm
| malki2 wrote: | | Why are the trolls always named Burlywood? Is your actual SN Burlywood? |
You've cracked the code! Yael makes sure that all trolls get the "burlywood" color. Since you've figured it out, that obviously means that you've been spending way too much time on Imamother. 
When I lived in a mostly LWMO neighborhood, the guys were all SUPER chatty. Sometimes it was nice to talk, and sometimes it was just really awkward. It depended on how familiar they tried to get, and the body language that goes with it. If they keep leaning forward, run away!
The wives were simply oblivious, and didn't see anything wrong at all.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
1
|
banana split
|
Tue, Aug 11 2020, 7:56 pm
|
I say hello to anyone. Doesn’t exist where I live. Although I’m assuming the phenomenon exists Bec of tznius
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
2
|
|
amother
Forestgreen
|
Tue, Aug 11 2020, 8:16 pm
| amother [ Azure ] wrote: | | I’m a BT and before I was frum, all my close friends were male. Not being able to socialize with men is awful for me. |
This is so interesting.
I’m FFB, and don’t have a single close female friend.
The only people I’ve ever found myself feeling I could connect with as friends were men.
(I would never vocalize this to anyone).
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
2
|
| Related Topics |
Replies |
Last Post |
|
|
Annoying neighbors
|
11 |
Sat, Apr 20 2024, 10:55 pm  |
|
|
[ Poll ] Haircut by non Jewish male hairdresser
|
15 |
Thu, Apr 11 2024, 5:59 pm |
|
|
Male Instructor Recommendations
|
0 |
Tue, Apr 09 2024, 7:32 pm |
|
|
Recording studio with male singer
|
1 |
Mon, Mar 11 2024, 8:57 pm |
|
|
Male therapist for 12yo DD
|
23 |
Mon, Mar 11 2024, 4:12 am |
|
|
Imamother may earn commission when you use our links to make a purchase.
© 2024 Imamother.com - All rights reserved
|  |
 |
|
 |
|
|
