Monsey school | Imamother

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Forum -> Parenting our children -> School age children

Monsey school

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amother

Saddlebrown

Thu, Sep 10 2020, 6:12 pm

amother [ Fuchsia ] wrote:

Klausenberg does not allow socks above 3. Bobov is a typical chassidish school that allows socks till age 5. Bobov is the only typical chassidish school that allows socks above 3. Gur and Vien are more Bais Yakov type of schools, not typical chassidish like Pupa, skvere, viznitz, Belz, Satmer.....
I didn't take any derech to my own level, this how it is in chassidish schools. I don't make the rules.

I think you mean they aren't Hungarian.

ChassidishMommy

Thu, Sep 10 2020, 6:29 pm

amother [ Saddlebrown ] wrote:

I think you mean they aren't Hungarian.

I am not the poster you quote, but Skver is Ukranian, and Belz is Polish/Galician. Viznitz is from Carpathia, which was under various rulership over the years, but the Chasidus is leaning more towards Ukraine in culture.

amother

Tangerine

Thu, Sep 10 2020, 6:46 pm

amother [ Ruby ] wrote:

Chassidish rebbish girls went to Bais Yakov together with girls from non religious homes. And then these girls raised beautiful Torah families because they were influenced by these Ehrlich girls.

I’m sorry to throw paint in your pink perfect rebbish/yeshivish world.
The rebbish/yeshivish girls simply accepted their classmates. The non frum classmates accept their classmates. Times were different, they were all united for being Jewish.They were all in this together. Whatever happened after, it’s simply a product of that unification.
My mother is frum, but not because Heshele the spinker’s daughter was her classmate.

amother

Brown

Thu, Sep 10 2020, 6:48 pm

cnc wrote:

I don’t know if a single school that allows socks till age 6.
Bobov allows until the 5th birthday and they’re considered “modern” because most other schools require tights from
nursery.

I don’t mean to complain or anything, but my (newly) 5 year old has trouble getting tights up and down by herself. Maybe it’s modern, but it’s practical.

amother

Fuchsia

Thu, Sep 10 2020, 6:59 pm

amother [ Brown ] wrote:

I don’t mean to complain or anything, but my (newly) 5 year old has trouble getting tights up and down by herself. Maybe it’s modern, but it’s practical.

So you help her with her tights, what's the big deal?

amother

Thu, Sep 10 2020, 7:01 pm

amother [ Seagreen ] wrote:

My husband learns full time.
My daughter's best friend's father gives a shiur every day.
We send to BDY because we do not belong to any Chassidus.
To proclaim on a public board that it's for ex Chassidish is false and sad and falls under the category of motzei Shem Ra in which case you'll have to ask forgiveness from those you hurt and spread false rumors about. My daughter is in high school. The quality of Middos and the ivdu es hashem bsimcha is beautifully ingrained in the girls within the school, plus she is very machshiv Torah.
Please be careful especially in Chodesh Elul.

I'm just going to add my part .

My boys went to a very diverse type of yashiva, (they're older now) my kids are raised more to the right then the yasiva they went to , like my house is and always was clean from movies, TV, ect . Whereas I assume some boys did have , but my kids were always happy and content. They loved the yashiva , the principle was very strong with his rules like being on top of the kids making sure no one comes to cheider discussing things they see or have at home . It was an amazing academic place , a safe place . I really felt comfortable sending my kids there regardless from certain boys backgrounds . Bh it didnt have an effect . The cheider was erlich place with teaching the kids middos and so many important things to yiddishkiet . People are probably judging the place since it's less of chassidus , but I cant think of another place that is so professional and kids being well taken care and learned . When I used to take my kids out I was questioned a lot which school they went to, they look so serious and erlich . I just wanna say my kids really thrived. And that was in a neutral place being with kids from modern, litvish , chassidish, they loved it . They learned in life that dresscode dont matter . They dont have to dress a certain way to show off , that was the least what mattered in that place . They were basting on mentchlichkiet , yiddishkiet, acceptance ect. That is what mostly counts . I have no regrets for sending my kids where they were. They came out bh successful . Not trying to show off my kids, I just wanna pinpoint that sending to a neutral school and less rules shouldn't harm your kids . It all depends how parents see or view things, how parents teach their kids . They pick that up . If a parent will teach her kids that each family has their own hashkofa or way of doing things and be proud with who they are , kids will go along . I very much dont believe in having to be one certain type which is usually in the ultra chassidish circumstances. U can be with more lax people around and grow up wonderful. I think chassidum are to scared, some phobic that if their kids will go with a certain type their kids can grow up non jews . U got this so wrong! Their are so many other crucial things to look at then socks or whatever. I dont feel the ones that send to ultra chassidish schools have respect to the ones that are less chassidish. I dont think less chassidim means less Frum. U can be very frum and still like the more lax way of life . Their are so many things and quality u can find in a more easier or lax school. Nothing wrong ! Its wrong how the street judges that's the worst of the worst!

My sister n law sends to bdy she is the nicest, eidel, simple woman. She just doesn't belong to any chassidus and that was her only choice . And btw she is very happy .

amother

Firebrick

Thu, Sep 10 2020, 7:14 pm

I am neutral chassidish and went to bais Rochel of monsey. But they probably won’t accept my kids because my sheitel is longer than shoulder length. It seems like BDY is my only option however it does hace that reputation of having a certain looseness. Like parents can dress quite modern. I know of five families who send there who grew up extremely chassidish that now dress more modern. Skirts show knee, sheitels are very long, Bright nail polish, etc. I would like a school that is a bit more strict but there doesn’t seem to be any option like that.

amother

Lemon

Thu, Sep 10 2020, 7:16 pm

Amother firebrick, if your kids are young, there is kesser bais yakov (currently through first grade only) which is similar parent body to bais rochel

amother

Cerise

Thu, Sep 10 2020, 7:35 pm

amother [ Linen ] wrote:

Um, um, um! Which time period are you referring to?
For many, many, many years, most girls went to public school.
When Bais Yaakov opened, a select few girls from extremely committed homes switched to Bais Yaakov.
If a non-frum girl was in BY, it was an anomaly. (This is not necessarily true for boys yeshivos: That worked very differently.)
By the time kiruv was a thing, and the few non-frum children were persuaded to join Bais Yaakov, there were already a larger selection of schools that rebbish girls most likely went to.
Please, know your history.
Cerise, I love your posts.

Thank you. After all these years I know the chassidish monsey schools and mentality good and well.

amother

Cerise

Thu, Sep 10 2020, 7:38 pm

amother [ Seagreen ] wrote:

I completely agree with you. I know many wonderful families who send there.

amother

Saddlebrown

Thu, Sep 10 2020, 7:40 pm

amother [ Lemon ] wrote:

Amother firebrick, if your kids are young, there is kesser bais yakov (currently through first grade only) which is similar parent body to bais rochel

I think it's even frummer than Bais Rochel

amother

Fuchsia

Thu, Sep 10 2020, 7:53 pm

amother [ Cerise ] wrote:

I completely agree with you. I know many wonderful families who send there.

I think all those talking bad on the school are from Brooklyn. You don't want to know what my sisters n law from Brooklyn say on the school and as much as I try to convince them otherwise, they don't believe me. They tell me "I know this for a fact...." well, they certainly haven't gotten the right facts.

amother

Ecru

Thu, Sep 10 2020, 7:55 pm

amother [ Saddlebrown ] wrote:

I think it's even frummer than Bais Rochel

Isn't it a Chassidish school like very Williamsburg style no mother's driving?

amother

Fuchsia

Thu, Sep 10 2020, 8:06 pm

amother [ Ecru ] wrote:

Isn't it a Chassidish school like very Williamsburg style no mother's driving?

amother

Lemon

Thu, Sep 10 2020, 8:18 pm

amother [ Ecru ] wrote:

Isn't it a Chassidish school like very Williamsburg style no mother's driving?

Not at all. You must be confusing with another school. Most mothers drive. It's not an issue.

amother

Purple

Thu, Sep 10 2020, 8:23 pm

All of you said very true and well...
Sending to a school with the same values and hashkafas
That schools strict rules is a result of when families from the city came to Monsey to 'chill'-as one said.
And whatever else was mentioned...

But by now I think it's high time for reevaluation and change! So so so many normal, heimish, frum, decent families have moved out and suffer. Yes, suffer! They don't have where to send there kids, just end up sending to their last choice school rather than keeping their kids home. That's What's sad!

I moved. I wear a covered sheitel, no computer at home, was willing to give up my smartphone, don't drive, etc. And I had a hell of a time getting accepted in the school of my choice. My kids weren't in school yet when I moved, so it's not like I took out of a school (switching school is a whole other parsha). As long as money wasn't mentioned and we didn't involve protektzia, nothing to talk about. And that's with almost, if not every, school.

I'm bh very happy with the school my kids are in (1st choice school), yet it still pains me the way I got accepted.
And btw, I got an answer from my school 2 days before school started.

I know a family who took out of their chassidas cheder due to it being too modern for them. They went knocking on all doors, with their values, to get accepted, and no success. She tells me, I thought I won't have a hard time because I want more frum. She ended up sending to a regular frum chassidish cheder, though very not of her choice, and her kids don't really feel in place there.

It's simply not fair to so many families.

ShishKabob

Thu, Sep 10 2020, 8:27 pm

amother [ Slategray ] wrote:

There were always all kind of challenges, but the parents worked hard and tirelessly to instill the proper chinuch. Today, we don't want to parent much and eagerly hand over the chinuch to the schools. But the schools cannot do the individual parenting. So our generation created boxes and lines to form all kinds of standards and that's why we have the mess that we have today. Achdus, acceptance, loving guidance and individualized chinuch is gone. We have judgements, labeling, forced compliance and heavy-handedness in its place.

And then we wonder why we have the problems. The world has always been a tempting place. The main difference between now and then is that we stopped parenting.

excellent point. However, I am blatantly removing myself from being included in those! I parent my children bh despite the schools. Not in spite of them! Lol

amother

Purple

Thu, Sep 10 2020, 8:28 pm

amother [ Ecru ] wrote:

Isn't it a Chassidish school like very Williamsburg style no mother's driving?

Not at all very Williamsburg style. Real neutral chassidish mix parent body.
They allow driving but not smartphones.

amother

Fuchsia

Thu, Sep 10 2020, 8:32 pm

amother [ Purple ] wrote:

Even families that have always lived in Monsey have a hard time getting accepted to schools. Many schools are overcrowded. My kids school is in trailers and doesn't fit another girl in the classroom. There are desks squished into the classroom and all around the teachers desk touching the teachers desk. There's no room between the desks for the teacher to walk through. This is why it's so important if one is planning to move to get in schools before moving. And moving families should also know that they might not get into their 1st choice school and they might have to settle for whichever school accepts them. It's not easy for anyone to get into a school wether you moved or are originally from Monsey.
Another issue with schools is that the teachers refuse to teach big classes so they have to keep it to a certain number.

amother

Purple

Thu, Sep 10 2020, 8:47 pm

amother [ Fuchsia ] wrote:

And they don't wanna do parallel classes because they wanna stay a small school.

Yup, after I moved I heard many suggest not to move before having a school. And I know plenty families who toka did that.

My kids started school arnd 1.5 years after moving. Didn't think I have to start then already lol
But anyway, I learnt, regardless of when you start nudging schools, whether when you child is 1.5 or almost 3, you get an answer latest possible. So why bother so early?

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