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Why do people say tuition is expensive?
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FranticFrummie




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Sep 15 2020, 2:17 pm
If day old bread is on sale for 39 cents a loaf, and you only have 30 cents in your pocket, then bread is expensive.

I bentch you that you should never understand this from personal experience. May your kids love their teachers, and give you lots of nachas.
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amother




Bronze
 

Post  Tue, Sep 15 2020, 2:21 pm
amother [ Mint ] wrote:
What do you mean, it's not expensive? Not everyone is making $250K+ a year. If you are a middle income family then tuition chews up half your takehome pay.

I really don't know how most people manage it. I get that in some families both parents are working professionals and maybe their combined income is in the $200K plus range. But what about the rest of us?

Financial aid, scholarships, call it what you will. My in laws have 11 kids. I assure you they did not pay full tuition.
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amother




Salmon
 

Post  Tue, Sep 15 2020, 2:23 pm
amother [ Bronze ] wrote:
Financial aid, scholarships, call it what you will. My in laws have 11 kids. I assure you they did not pay full tuition.

My in-laws have more kids than that. They are what you would consider well-off. They did pay full tuition. But they had to remortgage their house to do it.
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watergirl




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Sep 15 2020, 2:27 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
I'm sending my son to school next year and was told that (being as most schools in Lakewood aren't likely to ruin my kid) one of my top considerations should be affordable tuition.

But now I'm wondering... What's all the hype?? Here's what I'm paying for my little ones:
Newborn - $8,500
Older 2s - $4,500
4 year old - $3,500

And in a previous daycare I sent to, I was paying about $2,000 more per child!

How is $4,000 or $6,000 considered such an enormous fee? Seems pretty reasonable to me.

***
ETA: While we're on the topic, anyone from Lakewood know which boys schools are on the cheaper end?

I wanted to add - OP, it looks and sounds like BH you are a young couple who had a few kids pretty close together. Now you have $16,500 a year in tuition. A couple in your age bracket with the number of kids you have, who will be having more children also in rapid succession will soon find themselves paying double that and then some. So let's say you find schools for your kids that charge only $7,000/year (including all other fees as noted upthread). For 3 kids, thats 21k. For 5 kids, that's 35k. And high school is even more $$ and seminary - even more. This is not including things like tips for the rebbes, camp staff tips, etc. It is incumbent upon us as parents to go in with eyes wide open. For some of us, like me, I know I can not afford more tuition. Some people take tuition into account when family planning.
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amother




cornflower
 

Post  Tue, Sep 15 2020, 3:24 pm
Am I the only person on this thread that thinks $16k per year is a lot of money?

We usually earn around $50K. Which makes us solidly middle class. $16K is about 1/3 of the total annual budget and that's just for tuition.
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amother




OP
 

Post  Tue, Sep 15 2020, 3:30 pm
amother [ Silver ] wrote:
Its a sensitive subject because of the frustration many feel about it and you spun it into a 'hey, whats the big fuss' kind of issue.

...

I may be wrong, but I get the impression you are either quite well off, or are being supported in some way.


To the first point - people were criticizing me for asking someone whether she lives in Lakewood or elsewhere. I don't think that's a very sensitive question. But I do feel bad that the post came off sounding like I'm trying to minimize the struggle; I'm not at all. I'm trying to understand the struggle I'm about to experience myself, is all.

And yes, you are wrong Wink I am not well off in the slightest (I actually have no income besides my unemployment check right now, as both my husband and I lost/left our jobs during Corona) and no one supports us. Hashem pays our bills and I do appreciate what 6k means. I just didn't understand why the 8k I pay for my baby and the 8k I'll need to pay for my primary boy are so different - which a few people did explain in this thread.
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amother




OP
 

Post  Tue, Sep 15 2020, 3:32 pm
keym wrote:
If you need more hours, then you're gonna have to hire babysitters and clubs for elementary school kids. Boys go from 9-2 or 3 in primary depending on the school. Some schools offer clubs to 3 or 4 that you pay extra for.
Girls schools go 9:15-3:15 for primary. 9:15-11:30 on Fridays.
That doesn't include the erev and Isru vacations, midwinter, Chanukah.
And don't forget snow days and late starts.


Surprised Which boys schools (primary) end at 2 in Lakewood? That's hard. Didn't even know to look out for that!
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pause




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Sep 15 2020, 3:33 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
To the first point - people were criticizing me for asking someone whether she lives in Lakewood or elsewhere. I don't think that's a very sensitive question. But I do feel bad that the post came off sounding like I'm trying to minimize the struggle; I'm not at all. I'm trying to understand the struggle I'm about to experience myself, is all.

And yes, you are wrong Wink I am not well off in the slightest (I actually have no income besides my unemployment check right now, as both my husband and I lost/left our jobs during Corona) and no one supports us. Hashem pays our bills and I do appreciate what 6k means. I just didn't understand why the 8k I pay for my baby and the 8k I'll need to pay for my primary boy are so different - which a few people did explain in this thread.

I thought you're asking in general, but now I realized you're asking in comparison to daycare. The truth is that daycare is not a necessary expense, especially as you're not working now. With school, whether you work or not, whether you can afford it or not, you gotta pay. It's a huge bill.
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keym




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Sep 15 2020, 3:36 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Surprised Which boys schools (primary) end at 2 in Lakewood? That's hard. Didn't even know to look out for that!


For sure Cheder. And some of the more yeshivish places. Some primary ends at 2:45. Some 3.
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amother




OP
 

Post  Tue, Sep 15 2020, 3:38 pm
watergirl wrote:
It is incumbent upon us as parents to go in with eyes wide open. For some of us, like me, I know I can not afford more tuition. Some people take tuition into account when family planning.


I don't remember who my husband quotes this from, but he often says that every child comes with their own parnassa - so unless a Rav says this a valid consideration, I would venture to say that income is not where the needle lands when it comes to deciding if more kids are an option.
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amother




OP
 

Post  Tue, Sep 15 2020, 3:44 pm
keym wrote:
For sure Cheder. And some of the more yeshivish places. Some primary ends at 2:45. Some 3.


I was kind of hoping I'd always have a little bit of time in my life to work/grow my business Sad With a four hour day (starting close to 10 and ending before 2), it's no wonder people can't make ends meet!
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watergirl




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Sep 15 2020, 4:38 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
I don't remember who my husband quotes this from, but he often says that every child comes with their own parnassa - so unless a Rav says this a valid consideration, I would venture to say that income is not where the needle lands when it comes to deciding if more kids are an option.

Yes we all know that. And yet we each have to make our own cheahbon as to our reality. Because there are far too many starving yiddelach and far too many children sent home from school because their parents cant pay tuition. I can not afford tuition now. I am working one full time job and a part time one. My husband works the same. There is a point where you have to see where your parnassa is and what is realistic. If I cant afford it now and get calls from the school because we are months behind, then we can see how much parnassa was sent with each child as it is. No one can play Gd.
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amother




Salmon
 

Post  Tue, Sep 15 2020, 4:45 pm
amother [ cornflower ] wrote:
Am I the only person on this thread that thinks $16k per year is a lot of money?

We usually earn around $50K. Which makes us solidly middle class. $16K is about 1/3 of the total annual budget and that's just for tuition.

No, you're not. Last year we made about $65K, and tuition was $22K (after an extremely generous scholarship). We struggled mightily, and paid it very late, and that only with the help of the stimulus check. This year we're being asked to pay more than double. I hope the schools are davening for our parnasa to increase so that we actually can!

As far as the family planning angle, I look at it like the Manis Friedman comment re: time. He says, one kid takes up 100% of your time. It can't get any worse, so you may as well have more! For us, high school tuition for one kid was already unfathomable. So once it's already impossible, it can't get any worse!
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amother




Purple
 

Post  Tue, Sep 15 2020, 5:12 pm
keym wrote:
It's the line by line items.
So let's say 7k for boys tuition (average).
Then 300 book fee
200 registration fee
300 mandatory bus fee
500 building fee (5k divided over 10 years)
400 mandatory dinner fee
We're talking Lakewood. So another 250 for mandatory "Cheder Camp"
If you work, then 550 day camp
That ends up being 9500. And doesn't include lunch fees, school supplies, trip and party fees and other extracurricular activities


Don't forget the "mandatory" tips and holiday gifts, and the mother's melava malkas and chinese auctions...Whenever I feel that money is tight, I remind myself that I'm really loaded...I just pay tuition!
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Supermom#1




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Sep 15 2020, 5:36 pm
SixOfWands wrote:
My kids' schools are over $30,000 a year. Each. College is a bargain in comparison.


oh my goodness, that's insanely expensive! Is this regular ed? Do you have more than one child?
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amother




Peach
 

Post  Tue, Sep 15 2020, 5:46 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Um. Wow. You just listed $3,000 of hidden fees. Can't Believe It


Exactly. Just wait until your kids get older!!
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amother




Periwinkle
 

Post  Tue, Sep 15 2020, 6:55 pm
Is chassidish schoos tuition more? Ive heard tuition in lakewood is more than in BP
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amother




Pearl
 

Post  Tue, Sep 15 2020, 7:58 pm
I got a tuition contract this year for $33,000 for one boy. That tuition and out of pocket medical amount to more than I made gross last year. I would like the school to not make me feel like an ATM machine. NYS
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amother




Vermilion
 

Post  Tue, Sep 15 2020, 8:10 pm
amother [ Periwinkle ] wrote:
Is chassidish schoos tuition more? Ive heard tuition in lakewood is more than in BP


More than Bp? Definitely.
We were paying about 3.5k per kid in Bp now we pay 6k plus fees in Lakewood (which is considered not expensive).
My mesivta age son is costing us close to 10k but I'm almost sure it would've been the same in Bp.
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