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My baby is BH playing so nicely on the floor...
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amother




Sienna
 

Post Mon, Nov 30 2020, 9:28 am
nchr wrote:
I don't know how old OP's baby is but of course at a certain age babies start associating crying with being picked up if you pick them up or play with them everytime they cry. The same way you can sleep train a child you can train a child to play nicely when you are not entertaining him/her or when you walk to a different room. Sitting on a couch all day so your baby doesn't cry sounds ridiculous.


Please explain to me how because if I do peekaboo one more time I will lose my marbles. And they are a choking hazard.
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nchr




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Nov 30 2020, 9:29 am
amother [ Sienna ] wrote:
Please explain to me how because if I do peekaboo one more time I will lose my marbles. And they are a choking hazard.


How what?
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amother




Sienna
 

Post Mon, Nov 30 2020, 9:31 am
nchr wrote:
How what?


To train my baby to play by herself.

She is #5 ka”h, I’ve had good ones and bad ones but she just takes the cake. She needs 24 hour attention and if she doesn’t she will scream and scream and scream.
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nchr




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Nov 30 2020, 9:45 am
amother [ Sienna ] wrote:
To train my baby to play by herself.

She is #5 ka”h, I’ve had good ones and bad ones but she just takes the cake. She needs 24 hour attention and if she doesn’t she will scream and scream and scream.


Did you take her to the doctor because I'd assume there is some other underlying reason if a baby was screaming all day..

Anyways, obviously babies need to be in your line of sight. You cannot just drop them off in one room and walk away which is different than sleep training where you can leave the room. Just let her cry and scream with toys in front of her and she'll stop eventually unless there is another problem. When she stops crying then go pick her up. Have you ever tried to see if she'll just eventually stop (assuming she has no pressing need). BTW I don't know the age of your child but I'm refering to like 7-12 months. If a 4 month old is crying I don't think they associate me picking them up with the crying but a 10 month old definitely does.
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amother




Babyblue
 

Post Mon, Nov 30 2020, 10:06 am
I don't mind if they associate crying with being picked up. I also like when DH hugs me when I cry.
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Ema of 4




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Nov 30 2020, 10:11 am
amother [ Gray ] wrote:
Well yes, you can always teach her while she's still an infant that mommy isn't there for her.

Mommy needing to take care of things doesn’t mean mommy isn’t there for her. Mommy feeds her, changes her diaper, plays with her, holds her.....but mommy needs time to do mommy things to. Also, if the baby is old enough to play, she is no longer an infant.
OP, have you tried wearing her when you need to get stuff done? Alternatively, have you tried bringing toys to wherever it is you are going? My babies spend plenty of time on the bathroom floor (when I do laundry) bedroom floor, and kitchen floor. How old is your baby?
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nchr




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Nov 30 2020, 10:49 am
amother [ Babyblue ] wrote:
I don't mind if they associate crying with being picked up. I also like when DH hugs me when I cry.

Was this intended to be sarcastic? You are your child's parent. Your entire house and day shouldn't revolve around a crying baby who can be taught to not cry for no reason at all just like she can be taught to cry and get what she wants. I can assure you if your need for hugs and crying was interfering with your husbands ability to go to work, daven, sleep he would put a stop to it as well.
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amother




Gray
 

Post Mon, Nov 30 2020, 10:56 am
nchr wrote:
Was this intended to be sarcastic? You are your child's parent. Your entire house and day shouldn't revolve around a crying baby who can be taught to not cry for no reason at all just like she can be taught to cry and get what she wants. I can assure you if your need for hugs and crying was interfering with your husbands ability to go to work, daven, sleep he would put a stop to it as well.


How do you define "no reason at all"? I don't think I've ever met a baby who cried for no reason at all.
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nchr




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Nov 30 2020, 10:58 am
amother [ Gray ] wrote:
How do you define "no reason at all"? I don't think I've ever met a baby who cried for no reason at all.


If a baby is fed, pampered, clothed, and sitting nicely on the floor then they have no legitimate reason to cry, unless they are sick or hurt themselves.
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amother




Gray
 

Post Mon, Nov 30 2020, 10:58 am
Ema of 4 wrote:
Mommy needing to take care of things doesn’t mean mommy isn’t there for her. Mommy feeds her, changes her diaper, plays with her, holds her.....but mommy needs time to do mommy things to. Also, if the baby is old enough to play, she is no longer an infant.
OP, have you tried wearing her when you need to get stuff done? Alternatively, have you tried bringing toys to wherever it is you are going? My babies spend plenty of time on the bathroom floor (when I do laundry) bedroom floor, and kitchen floor. How old is your baby?


Infant is generally defined as a baby up to age one (sometimes more). Infants are not capable of understanding that mommy has needs not associated with baby. All they know is if their own needs are being met or not.
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amother




Gray
 

Post Mon, Nov 30 2020, 10:59 am
nchr wrote:
If a baby is fed, pampered, clothed, and sitting nicely on the floor then they have no legitimate reason to cry, unless they are sick or hurt themselves.


Does this apply to children and adults of all ages as well?
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nchr




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Nov 30 2020, 10:59 am
amother [ Gray ] wrote:
Infant is generally defined as a baby up to age one (sometimes more). Infants are not capable of understanding that mommy has needs not associated with baby. All they know is if their own needs are being met or not.


A comfortable, cared for 10 month old doesn't have any needs that need to be met at that moment. I'm not understanding this.
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amother




Gray
 

Post Mon, Nov 30 2020, 11:01 am
nchr wrote:
A comfortable, cared for 10 month old doesn't have any needs that need to be met at that moment. I'm not understanding this.


Infants have a well documented need to be either held or in very close proximity to their primary caregiver. Some babies have a stronger need, just as some babies need more sleep or to be fed more often.
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LovesHashem




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Nov 30 2020, 11:04 am
amother [ Gray ] wrote:
Infant is generally defined as a baby up to age one (sometimes more). Infants are not capable of understanding that mommy has needs not associated with baby. All they know is if their own needs are being met or not.


Than every single kid in daycares are being neglected then as well. Since I can't hold six babies, or even ONE baby while making hot bottles.

Sorry to put it bluntly. How does your baby manage if another kid comes home with a bruised and bleeding knee that you need to clean and bandage? How do you make supper? How do you take a phone call?
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Ema of 4




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Nov 30 2020, 11:31 am
amother [ Gray ] wrote:
Infant is generally defined as a baby up to age one (sometimes more). Infants are not capable of understanding that mommy has needs not associated with baby. All they know is if their own needs are being met or not.

A 7/8/9 month old, which is how old OP said her baby is, is very different than a 2/3/4 month old, in teens of understanding. A 7/8/9 month old can be spoken to while mommy is doing something that doesn’t involve picking baby up. A 2/3/4 month old won’t know the difference, and will likely cry even if mommy talks continuously.
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amother




Lime
 

Post Mon, Nov 30 2020, 11:34 am
You have to get baby to trust you maybe not all her needs are being met. Babies are more clingy when they are tired, hungry, (thirsty) or sick. Also she could feel she's not getting quality attention.Try this, its time consuming but it could work. Anytime baby wakes up from sleep or nap, nurse and feed until she seems VERY satisfied. Give her a drink too. Change her diaper. Than PLAY with her for 45 MINUTES uninterrupted. Than do your work if you have to leave a room for more than 3-5 minutes take her along put her in a exesauser or carriage outside the room. If you have other kids home bribe them to play with baby when you need to leave the room. Not follow you and leave baby left alone. If you go to the bathroom and your alone leave the door open a bit and talk through the door. If you need to prepare food spread out a clean mat, blanket or even towel on your kitchen floor and let baby play near you. As she gets more comfortable increase alone gradually up to 10 minutes. I dont think its safe to leave baby ever alone longer than that. (I know of a baby that almost died from a secure peice of her toy that broke. And another that pulled off her sock and started choking on it. Both Moms left babies in very safe places for just a few minutes. If baby cries and you know she is fed and not tired. Always check confort- Dirty diaper, did she roll on top of toy that's causing her discomfort. Too tired to get roll or switch positions are some examples.
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amother




Gray
 

Post Mon, Nov 30 2020, 11:43 am
LovesHashem wrote:
Than every single kid in daycares are being neglected then as well. Since I can't hold six babies, or even ONE baby while making hot bottles.

Sorry to put it bluntly. How does your baby manage if another kid comes home with a bruised and bleeding knee that you need to clean and bandage? How do you make supper? How do you take a phone call?


All babies have different needs. The reality is that some babies do very poorly in daycare. Some things can be done while a baby is held in a carrier or in arms. Sometimes there's an emergency and a parent has to prioritize. Sometimes planning in advance alleviates the situation.
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amother




Gray
 

Post Mon, Nov 30 2020, 11:45 am
Ema of 4 wrote:
A 7/8/9 month old, which is how old OP said her baby is, is very different than a 2/3/4 month old, in teens of understanding. A 7/8/9 month old can be spoken to while mommy is doing something that doesn’t involve picking baby up. A 2/3/4 month old won’t know the difference, and will likely cry even if mommy talks continuously.


No 7/8/9 month old understands that mommy needs to do something more pressing right now. They are simply not developmentally capable of that kind of thinking. Sure you can speak to him and that may or may not help. But he doesn't understand what it means that mommy needs to make a sandwich.
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Ema of 4




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Nov 30 2020, 11:50 am
amother [ Gray ] wrote:
No 7/8/9 month old understands that mommy needs to do something more pressing right now. They are simply not developmentally capable of that kind of thinking. Sure you can speak to him and that may or may not help. But he doesn't understand what it means that mommy needs to make a sandwich.

I didn’t say a baby understands that mommy has needs and things to do. A 7/8/9 month old baby should be able to play without mommy having to sit there every single second. A baby that age can play peek-a-boo with mommy, not just watch mommy do peek-a-boo. That baby knows that mommy disappears and then comes back.
I’m not going to derail this thread by continuing this conversation.
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LovesHashem




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Nov 30 2020, 11:51 am
amother [ Gray ] wrote:
All babies have different needs. The reality is that some babies do very poorly in daycare. Some things can be done while a baby is held in a carrier or in arms. Sometimes there's an emergency and a parent has to prioritize. Sometimes planning in advance alleviates the situation.


According to this logic anyone who has a few young kids is likely neglecting their baby. If they have a toddler and 3 year old how on earth are you supposed to not neglect all 3?

They need dinner, laundry, and all 3 kids need attention as well.

You cannot make a hot dinner while holding a heavy 9 month year old baby. You should not be dealing with boiling hot things while holding a baby of any age even in a carrier. That is not safe as well.
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