S/o last question u asked your Rav

amother

Natural

Wed, Dec 16 2020, 8:35 pm

singleagain wrote:

Here's the question I think that this is being posed. If you know it's not best for you and if the rough does not have your Bina yesera, And you say he's not the appropriate person to ask why would you ask

I believe that people ask the Rav and don't even stop to think for themselves, sometimes having adverse consequences.

samantha87

Wed, Dec 16 2020, 8:49 pm

amother [ Scarlet ] wrote:

I am an RN. In the early days of COVID, I was unemployed. I asked if I should look to take a job in a hospital, likely helping save lives in a very real way, but putting myself in a place of safek sakana. Or stay home and take care of my children in lockdown, at a time when other childcare arrangements would have been extremely difficult, but suffer financially and waste my (relevant to COVID care) skills.

That's so interesting, kind of a mix of philosophy and halacha. What did he advise (or pasken, if you prefer)?

amother

Teal

Wed, Dec 16 2020, 8:54 pm

My daughter acvidentally made goat milk soap for chanuka using 2 meat mixing bowls, and a meat saucepan as a double boiler. She used a silicone meat spatula for mixing. the cooked soap was cut with my SUPER pricey and favorite meat chef knife. It was a doozy but BH we could save most items. I made dd do the work, though.

I love these public questions that can be shared with the family, because they teach my kids that DH and I dont know all the answers. It also shows them not to be nervous to ask a question when you need halachic help. No matter how dumb you feel. Its tge Rabbis job to answer them.

I prefer asking all kasrus. Shabbos, financial aspects of halacha and TH questions myself and we found Rabbis that take my calls.

amother

Saddlebrown

Wed, Dec 16 2020, 8:57 pm

Must recent shailahs were about if a tooth filling I had done that I felt was imperfect (sticking out) and wanted to get shaved down was a chatzitzah for mikvah.

And if what felt kind of like waxing residue, (I stupidly waxed a little day if mikvah, even though I knew it wasn't recommended)but was washed with multiple cleaners, soap, and hot water, was a chatzitzah

amother

Scarlet

Wed, Dec 16 2020, 9:05 pm

samantha87 wrote:

That's so interesting, kind of a mix of philosophy and halacha. What did he advise (or pasken, if you prefer)?

That’s why I felt I needed to ask, it was all so mixed up in my head. The takeaway was that I’d have a halachic leg to stand on either way I chose, so he punted the question back to me to make the decision between me and DH. He did say I could even accept tzedakah if I felt it was necessary to keep away from a safek sakana that’s done just for the sake of parnassah, I thought that was an interesting point.

amother

Wed, Dec 16 2020, 9:15 pm

amother [ Natural ] wrote:

I did not do xyz because my Rav told me not to, even though I knew that it was best for me. As a result, I hurt my family and my life. My Rav does not have my binah yeseirah when it comes to my family, and therefore, he is not the appropriate person to ask advice on this issue. (Whether it is parenting, physical or emotional health, marriage, etc.)

100 percent. If I ask my Rav advice on parenting and it doesnt sit right with me I don't follow up on it. However, certain Rabbonim are appropriate guides. Yours may not be. My Rav happens to be very good at relationships. What's more important though are questions in Halacha and Hashkafah. I have more to say but putting kids to bed now...

amother

Powderblue

Wed, Dec 16 2020, 9:18 pm

If I have to pay my babysitter when I can’t send my kid because we are in quarantine

amother

Natural

Wed, Dec 16 2020, 9:22 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

You say your Rav is great with relationships, but is he a therapist? I see all the time on Imamother "ask a Rav" when my response is, ask a professional, I don't care how experienced your Rav is! That goes for any more serious marriage issues, certainly, and many others, as well.

Same with financial, educational, etc. decisions. The Rav does not know better than the doctor! Why was there a thread on here recently about [a certain Rav] "saving" a woman's pregnancy? Oh, he guided her about progesterone better than the doctor? Same with so many other things...

Also, with regard to what school to send your child to - many would say that's a hashkafic issue. My father's Rav told my parents to send my brother to a yeshiva where my uncles went which was horrific for them. Do you think my parents should have listened? But, you would say, it's a hashkafa question!

With regard to bc specifically: I was told absolutely, unequivocally not about using a certain form of bc. I was literally going out of my mind from postpartum anxiety. Sure enough, two months later, I was pregnant again. I had a terrible pregnancy and horrible PPD for over 15 months later. Was that Rav right for standing on principle? Should I have accepted the psak even though I knew that I was going to be in a really bad place if I got pregnant? Perhaps all my suffering is on me for not listening to my own instinct... but perhaps it's on the "system" that taught me that I must listen to what my Rav tells me and can't go "Rav shopping."

I'm so done with this concept of "Rav = G-d."

amother

Wed, Dec 16 2020, 9:22 pm

Thanks everyone for your replies. Way more interesting than I thought!

amother

Wed, Dec 16 2020, 9:32 pm

amother [ Natural ] wrote:

You say your Rav is great with relationships, but is he a therapist?....
I'm so done with this concept of "Rav = G-d."

Can you start a spinoff?

amother

Natural

Wed, Dec 16 2020, 9:42 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Can you start a spinoff?

I could, but truthfully, I got the impression that this spinoff was about precisely this concept: that people ask their rabbonim all sorts of questions, making the point that there is a reason to consult a Rav about virtually everything. I am pointing out that many of those questions are far outside the purview of a Rav.

I guess if it's just about what shaila you've asked recently, I'll keep my frustration to myself. Carry on.

amother

Burlywood

Wed, Dec 16 2020, 9:45 pm

amother [ Natural ] wrote:

I dont think anyone thinks rav=God. They do believe that Hashem gave a lot of rabbonim extra chochma. They usually have dealt with a lot of different scenarios and have a lot more experience than most people and so they can help guide them. That doesn't mean they're infallible.

My psychiatrist/marriage counselor recently told me to go to my rav for advice about whether to get divorced or stay married. He's the professional, but he still felt that I needed a rav's perspective.

As far as [the specific Rav mentioned], I personally know a few people who would never have had children without his guidance. While he never went to medical school, he was extremely intelligent and was extremely well self taught about those issues. Specialists frequently listened to his advice and there are stories about doctors who were shocked when they found out he was "only" a rabbi. Her situation may not have been so extreme, but there are many stories about women who were told they would never have children and he was the shaliach from Hashem who made it possible.

fish

Wed, Dec 16 2020, 9:46 pm

Can I kill my parents and what is the most kosher way

amother

Orchid

Wed, Dec 16 2020, 9:49 pm

fish wrote:

Can I kill my parents and what is the most kosher way

Oooo that’s a good one. And does my knife become fleishig? Write this down

crust

Wed, Dec 16 2020, 9:59 pm

Last 3 this week;

About eating a kezeyis on shabbos when on a diet.

About candlelighting on chanukah when we're not home

A question about Kibbid av v'em

Last week
If I may do a specific type of business after chatzos

SoBlessed

Wed, Dec 16 2020, 10:09 pm

What to do if the fridge in our Airbnb has a light that can't be switched off for shabbos

singleagain

Wed, Dec 16 2020, 10:21 pm

As I still live with my folks and I haven't really had a direct situation to ask a rav bc it's my dad....

There is a Rabbi at work. And I've asked him random Rabbi questions. Today it was "do you know why ring pops are my parsha product this week?"

He did

amother

Teal

Wed, Dec 16 2020, 10:47 pm

SoBlessed wrote:

What to do if the fridge in our Airbnb has a light that can't be switched off for shabbos

Ha! We had this years ago when staying for shabbos. We couldn't unscrew the bulb and too close to shabbos to ask a rav. My dh stuck a piece of wood in the door sensor so the fridge light was on all shabbos.

amother

Lemon

Wed, Dec 16 2020, 11:13 pm

If I can go to the Mikva since I forgot a bedika on the 7th day

erm

Wed, Dec 16 2020, 11:50 pm

About the status of my kugel and food processor after I sliced the onion with a meat knife before putting it into my pareve food processor and baking it in my parve oven