For those who don't believe in sleep training...

amother

Bronze

Sun, Apr 25 2021, 8:44 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

If he feeds for only a few minutes every hour or so, I end up with blocked ducts. Not full-blown mastitis, but I've reached the achy on-the-way-to-a-fever stage a few times already.

I don't have any advanced expectations, I'm not asking for 2 hour naps during the day, nor am I asking for 12 hours straight through the night (he often feeds 3 hourly during the night). I do feel that a 7wo should have a decent nap at some point between a significant feed.

Yup, 7wk olds feed every 3 hours at night...

amother

Slateblue

Sun, Apr 25 2021, 8:45 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

And if he's simply not interested or too tired to nurse?

And SLEEP-TRAINING experts (who mentioned CIO?) are more than okay with 6wo babies starting to learn self-settling habits.

And you didn't answer my question - what would you do?

I would nurse my baby to sleep or swaddle and pat shush them until they fall asleep.

amother

Sun, Apr 25 2021, 8:48 pm

amother [ Bronze ] wrote:

You have to force the pacifier. Don't give up, it will pay off big time. Hold it in his mouth and rock him.

Um...you don't! Welcome to life with a baby!

Also, husband should be taking care of himself, and toddler as well if possible.

I was more than happy to do all that - holding, rocking, patting. But it either doesn't put him to sleep or only for a very short time. It messes up my back entirely too as I have pre-existing lower back pain.

Are you saying that while you have an infant, you don't do laundry, keep your house somewhat liveable, cook some food etc?

My husband's got a full-time job, besides for 3 minyanim and some learning to do each day. Is he also supposed to cook supper, prepare his lunch bag for the next day, bathe the toddler, clear up the house etc? We're both the kind of people who need our sleep in general, he can't be up at 6 for shacharis and only get to sleep at 12am.
The toddler definitely can't take care of herself - she's 2yo!

amother

Sun, Apr 25 2021, 8:51 pm

We have a cleaner for 2 hours a week (erev Shabbos) and a mother's helper once a week for 2 hours too.

I'm just trying to work out how people who don't have angelic babies manage everything, forget about resting or recovering from the actual birth!

amother

Bronze

Sun, Apr 25 2021, 8:51 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

It's hard. Baby comes first, though. He will only be a baby once and he needs you. Expectations for everything else definitely get lowered way, way down.

amother

Sun, Apr 25 2021, 8:53 pm

amother [ Bronze ] wrote:

Yup, 7wk olds feed every 3 hours at night...

And I'm relatively okay with that, I don't insist he falls back asleep. I'm referring to the daytime and getting something done besides constantly trying to get him to fall and stay asleep.

amother

Slateblue

Sun, Apr 25 2021, 8:53 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

If you are concerned about mastitis you can pump but I’m pushing for feeding more often not less often so you shouldn’t have this issue at all. A 7 week old is barely alive Smile

They are tiny little babies and you need to accommodate them and their needs. You have to roll with it and sleep when the baby sleeps. And of course put your husband to work Wink

Mazel Tov btw!

amother

Brunette

Sun, Apr 25 2021, 8:54 pm

I would buy the mam pacifier. Did you try it?
I would put baby to sleep on stomach. Rub baby's back, etc. Give a little formula, maybea growth spurt and your nursing is lagging behind. If all else fails, put baby in stroller and go for a walk outside or even around house. It does sound exhausting though.

amother

Sun, Apr 25 2021, 8:54 pm

amother [ Bronze ] wrote:

It's hard. Baby comes first, though. He will only be a baby once and he needs you. Expectations for everything else definitely get lowered way, way down.

I'm using frozen suppers that I prepared way back before I gave birth. I'm using disposables and plastic bags wherever possible. I do laundry once a week on DH's day off (Sunday). I'd call that pretty low expectations!

amother

Coffee

Sun, Apr 25 2021, 8:56 pm

My baby is 10 weeks old. I would not try to sleep.train her yet at all. I feed her on demand and sometimes it means feeding her a few times in a short span of time. I find that they all fall into some sort of schedule at some point.

amother

Sun, Apr 25 2021, 8:58 pm

amother [ Brunette ] wrote:

That is one thing I refuse to try. I am not going to risk my baby's life for personal convenience. I'd rather be totally sleep-deprived for a whole year than ever regret raising the risk of SIDS.

The walk in the stroller I've done with some success. My apartment is too small for indoor walks Wink

amother

Powderblue

Sun, Apr 25 2021, 8:58 pm

I sleep trained some of my kids, two of them using CIO but seven weeks is way too early. I did it at 9-12 months.
At this age sleep training means setting them up for success by getting baby ready for a nap by 1.5- two hours after last wake time. Meaning baby should have been changed and fed by then.
Soothers include swaddle, sound (noise machine or shushed), swinging motion...

This age is very very hard, especially with older but still very little siblings.

Food: I cook majorly simple. Laundry: clean but not necessarily folded.

amother

Slateblue

Sun, Apr 25 2021, 8:58 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

That’s impressive! You are doing great. Baby comes first and his needs and there is always frozen pizza for when your meals run out.
This stage won’t last forever but you want to look back and know you gave your baby what he needed at this tender age.

amother

Bronze

Sun, Apr 25 2021, 8:59 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

FYI the risk is greatly lowered for nursing babies, and lowered even more for those that take pacifiers, but I wouldn't tell you to do something you're not comfortable with.

Have you tried wearing baby in a wrap?

amother

Chocolate

Sun, Apr 25 2021, 8:59 pm

At that age, you don't get anything done. Your job is to take care of your baby. Husband fends for himself and to toddler when he's home. Laundry gets washed and dried, not folded (that's one task I find very difficutl to do with a baby in baby carrier)

amother

Sun, Apr 25 2021, 9:00 pm

amother [ Slateblue ] wrote:

If you are concerned about mastitis you can pump but I’m pushing for feeding more often not less often so you shouldn’t have this issue at all. A 7 week old is barely alive Smile

They are tiny little babies and you need to accommodate them and their needs. You have to roll with it and sleep when the baby sleeps. And of course put your husband to work Wink

Mazel Tov btw!

He DOESN'T sleep, that's my point! And if I know he'll be up in 45min max, I find it very difficult to fall asleep.

My husband helps out A LOT! But he can't do it all every day, after putting in a full day's work and covering his ruchnius needs too.

amother

Bronze

Sun, Apr 25 2021, 9:03 pm

I want to add that I saw a huge difference in weight gain in the babies I had when I was younger, when I was still trying to get everything done, vs. my more recent ones when I gave up on that. My first few babies were off the charts tiny, not gaining well. The younger set I relaxed, gave up and fed on demand, and they all gained beautifully kah and were quite the chubsters Very Happy

amother

Sun, Apr 25 2021, 9:04 pm

Those who say to feed on demand, does that mean every time he wakes up? He's not showing any sign that he's hungry then - not licking lips, opening mouth, sucking hand, turning head etc

amother

Slateblue

Sun, Apr 25 2021, 9:04 pm

amother [ Bronze ] wrote:

Love this!

doodlesmom

Sun, Apr 25 2021, 9:05 pm

I remember those days! Finding a moment to take a shower was difficult. But I think it’s just something that time will fix.
Learn to multitask, or baby wear. Get volunteer help to hold the baby so that you can get things done, etc..

And yes, a 45 minute nap is a nap!