Overnight babysitter for toddler in BP

tweety1

Tue, Jul 26 2022, 3:02 pm

sara lefkovits wrote:

thanks for ur understanding and for calming me down a little

While I don't the reason you need to leave you child, I know the reasons I had too and that is why I understand you. Please don't feel bad. Don't leave by Neiman. Find somebody else. Find somebody that will let you check the place out. I had a babysitter years ago who kept on taking pictures of the kid. Every little thing. She gave me an album afterwards. She doesn't do babysitting anymore because she married all her kids off already and doesn't have the help.

amother

Sapphire

Tue, Jul 26 2022, 3:47 pm

tweety1 wrote:

Please please, those who say it traumatized the kids. It doesn't leave any lasting effects. If it did by your child it wasn't the babysitter. It was some some other issue and you're looking to blame it on something or you don't want to acknowledge the real reason you child has an issue. Because leaving a toddler by a good babysitter is not the reason.
And just so you know, before you jump down somebody's back for leaving a kid by a babysitter, there are some real reasons even non emergency reasons why someone would need to do so. Not everybody has a choice to keep the kid home, not everyone has a choice to not go away. It may seem to you that it's not so, but not everything is so black-and-white as it may seem

No, you should educated yourself in child development before you make uneducated statements like this.
Leaving your child for an extended period of time, for example overnight, with a STRANGER they have never met, absolutely can cause issues. These babies/toddlers aren't old enough to understand that you ARE, in fact, coming back.
The least you can do is make sure the babysitter is not a stranger.
I know how hard it is, I am dealing with this myself.
However, leaving your child at a babysitter who is a stranger overnight or even longer is incomprehensible if it is not an emergency. Especially a babysitter who does not allow you into their home!! Your child's needs comes first.

amother

Sapphire

Tue, Jul 26 2022, 3:50 pm

sara lefkovits wrote:

thanks for ur understanding and for calming me down a little

I know where your coming from, I need to get away as well.
The least you can do is leave your child at the potential babysitter for short periods of time so that when you go away, the person isn't a stranger.
You can't just leave them somewhere they have never been.

It's not about understanding you and calming you down, read up and educate yourself about childhood attachment and development, and make an educated choice.

amother

Mintgreen

Tue, Jul 26 2022, 3:58 pm

I think there are sometimes erroneous situations out of our control. If op is making a difficult choice the least we can do is give her options, I'm sure she feels plenty bad enough already.
Once I went into emergency surgery, Dr said pack your bags for a week stay in the hospital. We gave our baby to someone that day despite how worrisome it was. Do your due diligence trust Hashem to give you good people, and maybe even ask other people who could stop by at the said sitter like neighbors to check, if ur concerned etc. Not sure what community you are a part of, we are not Satmar and gave my baby at the time to a satmar lady who my husband did know well but I didn't know. I was floored by the chesed in that community. May it all go well!

amother

Lightgray

Tue, Jul 26 2022, 4:15 pm

I think there is a big difference leaving a young child with a stranger for a medical emergency and just because you need to get away on vacation. A medical emergency you have no choice. A vacation you do (if you have special needs kids I feel differently). If you have "typical" children, yes, it's nice to go away with dh but its not always possible and that's life. I would never leave my kids with a stranger for a relaxing getaway. If we go away the kids come and we make the best of it. Iyh when they are grown I will be able to go on relaxing getaways.

amother

Mayflower

Tue, Jul 26 2022, 5:43 pm

amother [ Lightgray ] wrote:

It doesn't make a difference for the child the reason why they're being left.

amother

Lightgray

Tue, Jul 26 2022, 5:58 pm

amother [ Mayflower ] wrote:

It doesn't make a difference for the child the reason why they're being left.

You are right. It's traumatizing either way for the child. But if you have a medical emergency and had no other options than you had no choice.

tweety1

Tue, Jul 26 2022, 8:04 pm

amother [ Sapphire ] wrote:

I'm totally not interested what the medical books say. If I were to take that route you know what would've happened? My 17 yr old who Kah is a star student today wouldn't have been that. Dc would atill have every ABC label in "the book". If I would've been "educated" dc would never get a chance to be what he or she is now. I go by what my common sense tells me. Thank God! My common sense told me then to run from all these therapists and "educators" because of the ideology you say here. Nothing will happen if a baby or toddler is left by a good caring babysitter. I would never leave by a babysitter who doesn't let in the house. But there are plenty fantastic ones out there.

losingweight

Wed, Jul 27 2022, 12:13 am

There's a Mrs getter (not sure her location. I think 12/high 50's) that is very recommended and a Mrs Abramowitz on 11 ave. that's very recommended.

for all of you that are pouncing on any woman looking for an overnight babysitter, either be happy you have where to leave your kids or feel good about yourselves that you sacrifice your life never to leave your kids. But please don't make her feel guilty.

amother

Vanilla

Wed, Jul 27 2022, 12:23 am

tweety1 wrote:

Unless it’s a hospital stay it is a choice.

amother

Razzmatazz

Wed, Jul 27 2022, 1:33 am

U could understand why someone would need an overnight babysitter. I'm not here to judge. Just be very careful who u use. I don't know why she's still around if she doesn't let parents pass thru the front door. That's a huge red flag

My4Jewels

Wed, Jul 27 2022, 2:13 am

Wait .. I’m confused.. I know I live in NJ in Bergen county and not boro park but I have never in my life and I am 40 .. heard of anyone leaving their kids at strangers over night. Is that a thing?

Is this common? I’m actually fascinated .. and a bit horrified

amother

Papaya

Wed, Jul 27 2022, 2:21 am

My4Jewels wrote:

Playing devils advocate here, why is overnight different than full time daycare 8:30 to 5:30? Seems better because overnight the child is sleeping most of the time. The first day at daycare/playgroup the child doesn't know t h e morah either.

amother

Garnet

Wed, Jul 27 2022, 3:01 am

Come on.
So according to your logic, we shouldn’t leave our precious children with rebbeim, teachers, counselors or a new neighbor in a new neighborhood since it’s SO damaging to leave a child with a stranger for hours at a time.
Lol. Dream on. LOL

heidi

Wed, Jul 27 2022, 5:13 am

amother [ Mintgreen ] wrote:

Does your baby not have a father to take care of it?
Unless both parents are completely incapacitated there is no reason to leave a baby with a stranger overnight.
It's a horrible idea and borders on abuse.