Urgent: need advice re: cleaning lady

MiracleMama

Fri, Nov 19 2021, 11:31 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

DH called our shul Rav for guidance.
(Que the - “do u call your Rav for everything thread)
He said we should leave the checks in there and put an alert on the account and freeze it.
She’s going away next week for a few weeks a found new a replacement temporarily. If in a few weeks nothing has happened with the checks I’ll consider letting her back.. let see. I also know the check numbers so that helps..

I have a feeling you'll be getting a call or text letting you know she can't come back. Sadly I have heard too many stories of loyal housekeepers and nannies who after years of dedicated service disappear with jewelry, money, etc. Something comes up in their lives and they grab what they can and disappear.

You never know, this could all be a misunderstanding. But it sure doesn't look good.

amother

Fri, Nov 19 2021, 11:34 am

Thx everyone for the advice, words of wisdom and chizzuk.
It is a bit shocking but I think it’s healthy to learn that u can’t ever fully trust anyone. She found me someone new. It obviously makes me think she’s stealing and not coming back.
Dh and I are both shaken up. Bh she’s just a cleaner and not a babysitter too. As much as I liked her and we had a good arrangement I was never her friend and everyone is replaceable..

tweety1

Fri, Nov 19 2021, 11:46 am

vintagebknyc wrote:

I'm sorry, I can't actually believe you opened your cleaning lady's purse. (yes, yes, I know, look at what you found there, but it was her property, her purse, and you VIOLATED that.) The two can be mutually exclusive.

Seriously??

vintagebknyc

Fri, Nov 19 2021, 12:03 pm

tweety1 wrote:

Seriously??

Yes.

Editing to add: There is a legal concept called "Expectation of Privacy" and that was broken here. I doubt you could even sue her because the evidence is fruit from the poisonous tree. So THAT is why Shomrim wants to wait to see if she uses those checks. Because what they have now would be thrown out of court.

amother

Fri, Nov 19 2021, 12:15 pm

vintagebknyc wrote:

I’m honestly not sure why I’m engaging in this craziness. I have zero intention of suing or calling shomrim. She’s going back to her country and likely won’t return.
I didn’t open up the bag thinking it was hers or even looking for anything. She’s been by me years and I’ve never even walked into her room..
I thought it was someone’s who got left behind cuz I have a home business. I opened it up to look for an ID or something similar so I can return it. It’s a leather navy wallet style bag in a chain. It’s not exactly screaming “I belong to the housekeeper “

In all the years she’s here her belongings were never left downstairs in public area. She went out last night to buy a gift for her family back home and must have accidentally left it here after her trip out

imasinger

Fri, Nov 19 2021, 12:21 pm

I'd suggest talking to the bank and changing the account number. You don't want the checks getting into the system, and then having to fix things. Be proactive.

My attempt to be dl"z is that maybe she's being pressured by someone to steal, and she doesn't want to when she'd be around you again, but might after she's gone.

As to the person who said you can never trust cleaning help, I strongly disagree. Our cleaner has been with us for decades, and is fully trusted, with good reason.

It depends on the person and the situation.

amother

Fri, Nov 19 2021, 12:24 pm

imasinger wrote:

Done. Bh! Took care of this and feel a lot calmer.
Thank u for ur help!

momsrus

Fri, Nov 19 2021, 1:24 pm

vintagebknyc wrote:

You’re not reading and making a lot of assumptions.

She didn’t know the purse was her cleaners. She was checking to see who left it behind.

And she didn’t speak to shomrim, she spoke to her Rav who wasn’t taking into account of it would stand up in court.

vintagebknyc

Fri, Nov 19 2021, 1:32 pm

momsrus wrote:

What I am reading is that she opened up someone else's purse, which is wrong. Purses are private.

What I am reading is that people in the very first threads said Shomrim could help her.

I'm an editor, I read. And I don't open up purses that don't belong to me.

momsrus

Fri, Nov 19 2021, 1:37 pm

vintagebknyc wrote:

What you didn’t read was the the advice she shared wasn’t from shomrim and you said the reason shomrim gave her the advice which is not true.

And what would you do if there was a purse left on your table and you didn’t know who it belonged to after a bunch of strangers just left your house?

amother

Fri, Nov 19 2021, 1:37 pm

vintagebknyc wrote:

So what would u do if you found a wallet, a purse, any other “private” item on ur property?

Not that it matters at this point. I’m taking this a gift from Gd. Bh I was saved from a MAJOR potential fraud and I’m super duper grateful. Sorry that this triggered you somehow.

I think your pity is misplaced.
Have a wonderful Shabbos

amother

Navy

Fri, Nov 19 2021, 1:39 pm

If she hadn’t opened up that purse which was hashgocha protis op did, then most likely this person with her stolen checks in her wallet woulda opened up ops accounts real fast once out of the country!
Forest…trees…priorities!

sky

Fri, Nov 19 2021, 1:39 pm

vintagebknyc wrote:

So if you find on the street or train you just leave it?

vintagebknyc

Fri, Nov 19 2021, 1:42 pm

amother [ Navy ] wrote:

We live in a country of laws and we need to follow them.

schmoois1

Fri, Nov 19 2021, 1:42 pm

This happened to me a few years ago; a cleaning lady had stolen business checks (home-based business also )
And I had no clue…they were later in the checkbook….
She waited a couple of YEARS before writing a check for $400 to test the waters, so to speak.
BH we caught it…
You can’t imagine the hassle we went through. The hassle of having to change the bank account, etc.
Start now….
It took me a long time to get over that feeling of violation.
Now I have cameras everywhere.