What is the solution? Lakewood

Notsobusy

Thu, Jan 06 2022, 12:28 am

amother [ Narcissus ] wrote:

They say the teachers aren't getting paid well. But I think instead of a raise schools should have smaller class size. Imagine if each class had 18-20 girls instead of 27. Its less hmwk, less parents and benefits the child. Established schools should team up with rich business people and hire new principals to have sister schools for parents moving. They should be similar in Hashanah. Another way this would help is funding. My friends daughter daughter had a problem in primary. Some new schools told her that her problem is a little more severe and as a new school they don't have the funddings. Plus the school already has enough of -not so bright, or impossible kids. It was months of beginning until she finally got into a school, after school already started. She's not happy. She's trying to get I somewhere for her second but since sibling is in a school 2 everyone is giving her an attitude that she should be greatful. And school feels she owes them her life for accepting her daughter.

Why do you think school owners, who are already moser nefesh to run a school, owe anything to people moving from Brooklyn? Why do rich business men owe them anything? Why does the litvish community have a responsibility to provide the perfect school for chassidim who don't like the litvish schools?

Why don't the people moving from Brookly get together and open their own version of BYBP that fills all their requirements?

amother

Aqua

Thu, Jan 06 2022, 12:28 am

Why would wyou want to live in a neighborhood where they label everyone as a type?
Do want your kids to turn into snobs?
"Beis chana saras type is to be serious"
"Beis leah avrahams type is heimish"
"Beis chaim avinu their type is to be academic"

amother

Thu, Jan 06 2022, 12:32 am

amother [ Nemesia ] wrote:

Ty.
Would you know what grade they have ?

Shiras will be second year
The other in first year I think

I would suggest if you’re hemish and very frum (not trendy type ) look into Bnos Tzipa , very warm right wing smaller school with a good number of Heimish families z

amother

Arcticblue

Thu, Jan 06 2022, 12:36 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

In Lakewood there are a handful of very hasidish schools, a bigger handful of heimish, two Syrian, and a few that would be considered somewhat modern.

But there are 20-30 regular bais Yaakov schools. Some are a fancier crowd, some a more out of town vibe, some more with it, some more yeshivish. But you are giving extreme examples. Most girls in Lakewood would do fine in Bais Tova, Bnos devora, moreshes, meoros , neemas, tiferes, bais faiga, shiras Chaim, nachlas… if you’re rejecting bais tova but insisting on tiferes this is Of if the problem . These are all regular bais Yaakov schools and the differences between the crowds is usually in our heads….

This assumes someone has pull to get into one of these schools. And there is a difference. Some of the schools you listed are more Yeshivish and some are more mainstream. My kids shouldn't feel like black sheep because we are one way and the school is another. Obviously I'm talking about ones with bigger differences but no, I don't know any families that would be consider applying to all the schools you have written.

amother

Moccasin

Thu, Jan 06 2022, 12:37 am

Here's a word of advice from someone who lives outside Lakewood - your children won't die if they go to school with kids who aren't exactly their type. If anything, they'll grow into respectful, welcoming Jews. Try it.

(I agree that having to learn Yiddish if you don't speak it would be a stretch, but I doubt that happens often.)

amother

Arcticblue

Thu, Jan 06 2022, 12:39 am

amother [ Cornsilk ] wrote:

So if your belt and Lakewood doesn’t have a belt school, use your seichel and don’t move there.
Or use your money, and open up your own belt school.
Don’t demand Lakewood figure out the problem for you.
You know whose not being nice? All the people bashing the askanim and mechanchim in lakes who are building schools for you!
You know who is being nice? Me! Who is defending these people from your baseless accusations

Nobody said that is ok. In other threads, maybe, but you quoted someone innocently asking for info on a school for her kid. She didn't bash anyone. No one on this thread bashed askanim or people opening schools. Who here made baseless accusations? So, no, your post to the poster wasn't nice at all. It was sarcastic and rude.

amother

Thu, Jan 06 2022, 12:40 am

amother [ Arcticblue ] wrote:

Well that would be applying to too many lol. But my daughter goes to one of those schools and I don’t believe she’s be a black sheep in any of the others listed. I do think this is part of the problem ppl who decide that only 4 schools or whatever are even worth considering and everything else is too left or too right or too fancy or too nerdy or too new. Much of rhe town made the same calculations you did and that’s why so many people are still waiting !

amother

Nemesia

Thu, Jan 06 2022, 12:40 am

[quote="amother [ Cornsilk ]"]So if your belt and Lakewood doesn’t have a belt school, use your seichel and don’t move there.
Or use your money, and open up your own belt school.
Don’t demand Lakewood figure out the problem for you.
You know whose not being nice? All the people bashing the askanim and mechanchim in lakes who are building schools for you!
You know who is being nice? Me! Who is defending these people from your baseless accusations[/quote
Belz is taking care of themselves they are not asking anything from you...
It's the people that are not in a chasidus that are suffering... Hopefully a large Brooklyn based Bais Yaakov will open up soon, so we don't need any favors any longer. Lakewood does not have the monopoly on being Mechanech and educating kids. Brooklyn has done just fine for years...

amother

Arcticblue

Thu, Jan 06 2022, 12:49 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

The reason people make these calculations is because there are so many schools and people apply to only 3-5 of them. How are people supposed to decide where to apply? By where they feel they will fit in and where they have pull. Most people aren't turning down good schools. If the vaad offers a school, it would be crazy to turn it down for a trivial reason. But when people are thinking of applying, they don't say "Well, I'll fit into these 15, let me apply to all and hope that I get into one because otherwise people will think I'm being picky and only applying to schools that closely fit my family type".

amother

RosePink

Thu, Jan 06 2022, 1:02 am

amother [ Arcticblue ] wrote:

I think sometimes lkwd ppl feel attack.
They work hard to start schools
Work hard to build mikvos and build more when there isn’t enough
Snd then ppl move and complain about the schools, and mikvah wait times and traffic and everything.
And ppl feel confused snd blamed and attacked when communities they and their parents built are trampled.
Many ppl who started schools and can’t even get their kids into them anymore.
I think ppl are just tired of being blamed when ppl moving to town have no interest in creating their own solution. Just complain and blame.
They are also feeling with the traffic. Shortage of houses. No place for their kids to rent. And on top of that they get blamed for everything else.

amother

Arcticblue

Thu, Jan 06 2022, 1:07 am

amother [ RosePink ] wrote:

100%. Again, this has happened in other threads. Her reply to the other poster wasn't nice and wasn't called for. A person is allowed to ask what newer schools there are based on her type. While her point may be valid, it has nothing to do with what the original poster wrote.

amother

Nemesia

Thu, Jan 06 2022, 1:12 am

amother [ Aqua ] wrote:

no, I don't want snobs. I also don't want to go to war with my child everyday on how we are the only one that can't watchwhatever or wear this... if the whole class is on group chats and we don't allow it ... your kid ends up suffering and it could even lead to rebellion because you were too strict

L K

Thu, Jan 06 2022, 1:21 am

amother [ Moccasin ] wrote:

The problem, as someone else explained above, is that it’s not that you’re one of may different types; for one kid to be different from a more cohesive rest of the school = not fitting in; being uncomfortable, maybe embarrassed, under stress, pressure to conform to/or be defensive of the standards that may be different from those of her home; oh and probably not having friends.
Plus being sad and depressed knowing that there are 5-10 schools where she would totally fit in but they don’t want to accept her for no good reason.

nicole81

Thu, Jan 06 2022, 1:28 am

I think part of the solution is accepting that as frum families, we will have huge tuition bills, and raising both our young men and women with the mindset and education necessary to get jobs that allow us to afford full tuition for multiple children. I'm talking two-parent working professional households if that's what it takes. When a large amount of community members rely on financial assistance, the system will never last. When we get more full tuition payers, the quality of the education goes up, it suddenly makes teaching a viable career choice, and the schools have the funds to open more classes. But until everyone starts looking at full tuition as an obligation of their lifestyle choice, we're going to continue circling the drain.

amother

Nasturtium

Thu, Jan 06 2022, 2:38 am

Moved to Lakewood 4 years ago , when all the kids in our block had a school my daughter did not , she got accepted into a anew school but I promise if it wouldn’t have been because of this school my daughter would have been home just like many other girls that year, she was only going into kindergarten ! I blamed myself I was doing something wrong , was it my sheitel ? Was it my clothing ? What am I doing wrong ? I finally told my husband I would rather send my kids to public school thank being stressed out and that’s it , guess what? We found out Other parents were thinking the same
Fast forward 4 years I’m now paying 4 kids top dólar new school tuition (in the 600$) plus transportation, plus therapy for 4 kids.
It’s all about money ! No money no honey 🙈
Debt debt debt

amother

Charcoal

Thu, Jan 06 2022, 8:42 am

nicole81 wrote:

It’s not really a matter of education. If you’re giving birth every other year you really can’t hold down a well paying job. Plus the men often don’t start working until their 30s.

amother

Thu, Jan 06 2022, 8:42 am

amother [ Arcticblue ] wrote:

Sure people apply to their top realistic choices generally but they often refuse to consider other very good schools. They may have legitimate reasons, but IMO it’s silly to complain about the state of Lakewood schools when a fine school is happy to take you, but it’s just not your top choice.

amother

Charcoal

Thu, Jan 06 2022, 8:44 am

amother [ Arcticblue ] wrote:

It takes a lot of mesiras nefesh to send to a new school and it isn't a simple decision. I wish people-especially people who were never put in this position- would stop making it out to be the only solution. How about not giving answers until you are done interviewing everyone? How about spending more time interviewing so you can interview more possible families? There are many other solutions I'm sure but telling everyone who didn't get in to just go to a new school isn't the answer. New schools do work for some people, I'm not saying it doesn't. But it isn't a one size fits all answer.

How would that help. They still can only take x number of kids. And the same amount of kids will need to go to a new school.

amother

Bluebell

Thu, Jan 06 2022, 8:46 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Are the heimish families in the younger grades? Because we're in bnos tzipa and they are in no.way heimish!!!! They don't even teitch in yiddish.