A Potato Kugel Lady's thoughts on Mishloach Manos

amother

Arcticblue

Thu, Feb 17 2022, 12:57 pm

I did Kugel once. I made them all the day before Purim. I like to do real food. I have done soups, smoothies, Kugel, challah and dips, etc.
Last year I had a baby two weeks before so I just did sparking grape juice and nuts.
I think everyone should do wtvr they want. At the end of the day it doesn't really matter....

amother

Thu, Feb 17 2022, 1:11 pm

OK. I was planning to do other things now and get back to this later, but I will write this up now.
This is part 2.

One year, after we came to the States, we lived in an apartment building. Someone knocked on our door on Purim morning and handed us a shalach manos. I think it was a mistake. I think he got confused about which family lives where, so when I opened the door and he recognized me, he smiled and handed me his mishloach manos with a huge "simchas Purim!" (We knew these people but it wasn't the type that they would come special to give us shalach manos. )

Anyway, the shalach manos they gave out was two small containers, one containing cholent, the other kishke. And it was tied with a string.

I found out afterwards that this lady gives out the same thing each year, and anyone who gets it considers themselves really lucky. She was world-renowned for her cholent. (Well at least in our town.) So I guess it was the equivalent of winning the Mishloach manos lottery.

So, I filed that info away in my filing cabinet in my brain.

That summer, this family moved away. Now, I knew I could use her idea without any qualms. I even got her recipe.

Since then, each year I give out containers of cholent. And a can of coke. With a fork and a straw. In a paper bag.

I never get any complaints. The only year I don't do it is when Purim falls out on Sunday. No one wants cholent on Sunday.

And it's the easiest thing. I prepare 2 cholents. One parve and one fleshing. I put them up on the evening of Purim, right before or after megilla.

By the morning, the cholent is done and all I need to do is scoop it into containers. I work with my kids and it goes fast.

We put labels on the containers with our name and indicate if it's parve or meat. People always tell me how much they appreciate it. They have something hot and filling to eat in the car. It can also be rewarmed in the microwave.

Now, I know I mentioned this in one of my posts, but I don't expect anyone to be keeping track:

For many years now, we have a "tradition" on Purim. I make potato kugels, franks n blanks, sesame chicken etc., and have them on sternos in my dining room and people come all day and help themselves. And I mentioned then that I think that's how I became known as the potato kugel lady (at least in my town, not here in Imamother. )

So that's why I can't be busy ALSO giving out fresh potato kugel as shalach manos. My oven is busy with other things. And the cholent can be made on the stove top or in a crockpot.

I think that answers all the questions..

amother

Thu, Feb 17 2022, 1:17 pm

amother [ Arcticblue ] wrote:

I totally agree with this.
I enjoy seeing everyone's fancy themes, but I don't do fancy and I don't do themes.

And my kids don't match costumes, and my husband and I don't get dressed up. We all have a fun time anyway.

But if that's what you like to do, and it gives you an opportunity to use your creativity to enhance the day- go for it.. As long as you aren't pressuring yourself or your family, I think it's all harmless fun.

Come to think of it, one year I was a week before my due date and that year I skipped the cholent. I gave out bought containers of hamantashen and grape juice.

amother

Navyblue

Thu, Feb 17 2022, 2:22 pm

OP I LOVE your stories!!!!

Crookshanks

Thu, Feb 17 2022, 4:04 pm

amother [ Navyblue ] wrote:

OP I LOVE your stories!!!!

And I love *you,* in general. You sound so chilled and down to earth and kind from all your stories!

amother

Lightyellow

Thu, Feb 17 2022, 4:12 pm

I ALWAYS freeze ready-baked potato kugel. And then heat it for an hour in the oven before putting it on the hotplate. And we like it just the same as fresh, often it's even better.

I know it doesn't work for you for mishloach manos, but just wanted to clear up that misconception Very Happy

ra_mom

Thu, Feb 17 2022, 4:20 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I explained that in a later post.
You can freeze RAW potato kugel batter. And then when you bake it, it tastes fresh. But not rewarming already baked kugels.
Ain Afia Achar afia.

So why, you may ask, don't I freeze a bunch of raw potato kugels and bake on the morning of Purim? It takes a very long time to bake and I need the oven for other things.

Stay tuned for part 2. I will explain more.

Someone here posted about freezing potato kugel batter raw, and I tried it, but I didn't like the results. Can you post your method?

amother

Thu, Feb 17 2022, 4:33 pm

ra_mom wrote:

Someone here posted about freezing potato kugel batter raw, and I tried it, but I didn't like the results. Can you post your method?

There were two methods posted on the other thread.
Someone posted about broiling it first.
I posted about freezing it raw. Which method did you try?

ra_mom

Thu, Feb 17 2022, 4:37 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

There were two methods posted on the other thread.
Someone posted about broiling it first.
I posted about freezing it raw. Which method did you try?

I froze it raw.

amother

Thu, Feb 17 2022, 4:37 pm

amother [ Lightyellow ] wrote:

OK, that's great.
Everyone can try it and see if they like it.
I actually just put a frozen potato kugel in the oven (I poured a cup of water on top). My kids like it for supper Thursday nights. It's okay, but in my opinion, not as good as fresh.

When you reheat frozen kugel, do you first defrost the kugel? Do u bake it covered or uncovered? What temperature?

amother

Thu, Feb 17 2022, 4:40 pm

ra_mom wrote:

I froze it raw.

OK. That was the method I posted, (got it from the Enlightened Kosher cookbook). It worked for me, (and for my mother in law. )
Sorry it didn't work for you.
Maybe you can try the other person's method.

amother

Lightyellow

Thu, Feb 17 2022, 4:49 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I used to defrost but then I decided it reheats better if it goes in the oven straight from the freezer.
I heat it covered on around 350.
I don't add any water.
It then always goes on the hotplate as well for a couple of hours so I guess I would do it longer if eating straight from the oven...

bsy

Thu, Feb 17 2022, 4:50 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

We put it straight into the oven at 400 uncovered. Don't defrost it

amother

Birch

Thu, Feb 17 2022, 4:55 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Every year around this time there is a Great Debate: Homemade or Store Bought Mishloach Manos? There are ardent zealots on either side of this, each with their own arguments.

Far be it for me to enter into the fray. Truthfully, I respect both sides, and firmly believe each side should keep doing whatever they've been doing.

I'm just here to share my thoughts and my experience, and yes, I know no one asked me, so if this doesn't interest you, you can scoot right on by. I will never know the difference.

Also, apologies in advance for my long-windedness. As you may have already noticed, brevity is not my strong suit. So if you suffer from ADD or dislike long megillas masquerading as posts, once again, feel free to skip on right along.

OK, now that I got that disclaimer out of he way...

So, when I grew up, Mishloach manos only came in one form: The yeshiva's fundraiser baskets. Every year, a day or two before Purim, we would receive a delivery of about 15 -20 baskets which would go into a side room until Purim. They came in 3 sizes; large, medium and small. We always got like 2 really big ones, and then the rest were medium or small. On Purim, when someone came to bring us Mishloach manos, my mother would instruct me, in an undertone, to bring a medium or small basket, depending on the size basket the other person brought. (Not that I couldn't figure it out myself.) We saved the biggest ones for the Rav of the shul and my grandparents.

The contents never varied from year to year. They always consisted of a bottle of wine or grape juice, a shiny red apple, assorted nuts, torino chocolate, hamantashen and wafer rolls- always wafer rolls. Shalach manos without wafer rolls could not be considered authentic shalach manos.

They were wrapped in cellophane paper and tied with ribbons in two contrasting colors that were curled like payos. When you tried to take them apart, you had to struggle with all of the packing tape, and you realized that the basket that looked like it had so much food was mostly filled with confetti or fake grass on the bottom.

But we rarely got to open any of the Mishloach manos we received. My mother had us recycle those.

So as I said, this is what my parent did each year. I thought everyone did the same. In fact, I never knew there was such a thing as homemade mishloach manos.

Once, a friend asked me if I wanted to come to her house to help her mother prepare shalach manos along with all of her sisters. (She was one of 7 girls.) I was mystified, having never heard of anyone making their own shalach manos.

I came to the house and saw a table filled with all sorts of candies, like a candy wonderland. It was like an assembly line where we put different types of candies into small boxes and those into a bigger box. It was the first time I heard of anyone preparing their own arrangements. But still, the food could not be considered "homemade".

I remember walking home from her house that night with a small clear box filled with gumballs that her mother let me take home as thanks for helping them pack. I was thrilled.

Honestly I don't remember ever receiving any homemade food for shalach manos. Except for once. And my mother threw it straight into the trash.

As a teen, I did prepare my own mishloach manos for my friends. Every year, on Taanis Esther, I would go to the grocery and fill the shopping cart with every nosh I ever desired and stuffed those little shiny bags with nosh.

And then I got married. In the early years, we lived in Yerushalyaim. And that's when I was introduced to a whole new concept of Mishloach manos.

Came Purim morning and, one by one, my neighbors brought over their adorable kids and the most stunning, delicious homemade mishloach manos. Cakes, kugels, salads etc. Each one was lovingly and painstakingly prepared. And the themes! I had never heard of themes! I was fascinated by the idea that the costumes matched the mishloach manos.

But I loved them. It's been so many years, but I still remember some of the themes my neighbors did. My friend Rivky dressed her kids up as bakers with big white puffy hats, and they delivered yummy homemade chocolate babka in a white bakery box, tied with a red and white string. This sounds pretty passe today, but for me this was the height of creativity. My other friend, whose last name is Frank, delivered potato knishes and franks in blanks, with mini packs of ketchup and mustard. It included an adorable poem connecting all the food to Purim, and they signed it, from the Franks (in blanks).

In return, I gave her a colorful wicker basket with assorted junk that I picked up at the makolet the day before. I didn't know any better.

Today it's all about themes and poems. People start thinking about their themes for months in advance. But for me this was a totally new experience.

At the end of thay Purim, I decided that, come the following year, I would do something homemade as well.

A few days later, I came across a letter to the editor in the Hamodia or Yated (the English Mishpacha didn't exist at the time). Someone wrote how she always receives tons of nosh which she doesn't really appreciate. But the one thing she appreciated was that every year a certain neighbor delivers a lukshin kugel. She puts it straight in the freezer, and is able to pull it out erev Pesach when she is too busy to cook for shabbos. It was such a chessed. This resonated with me, and I decided this would be my THING. I stored it in the back of my mind until the following Purim.

So, a few days before the next Purim I went out to get small tins and ingredients to make my lukshin kugels.

The first batch of kugels were sitting and cooling on the counter when my sister, who was in seminary at the time, walked in. She immediately dug into one of the kugels. (Seminary girls are always starving.)

When she was halfway through the pan, she asked me what these are for and I told her they were for Mishloach manos. She gave me a LOOK.

"You serious?" I nodded.
She said, "OMG! (or the equivalent. OMG had not been invented yet. ) That is SOOO nerdy! Please don't tell me you're giving out lukshin kugels!"

I started to get defensive and told her that there's nothing nerdy about it, and people will appreciate having a yummy lukshin kugel in the weeks leading up to Pesach.

She looked at me like I lost my marbles and said, "No one will eat them. They are going to go straight into the garbage!" (Remember, she grew up in the same home as me.)
"Do yourself a favor," she continued, "Go to the store. Buy some bottles of wine and a couple of nice boxes of chocolates, tie them with a fancy ribbon, and you're good to go!"

I told her she has no idea what she's talking about, and that - on the contrary- giving boxes of CHOCOLATES was nerdy, and I am sticking to my lukshin kugels. But suddenly my kugels started to look a little pathetic to me.

Later, I was talking to a friend. This friend is uber yeshivish and, to me, was the ultimate in good sense. I was sure she would appreciate my idea. I told her that I was planning to give out homemade sweet lukshin kugels.

She said, "What? Are you for real??"
"Yes," said I, "what's wrong with that?"
"I don't know how to tell you this," she said, "but you can't give out lukshin kugels. "
I was really surprised. I totally expected her to like my idea.

"What's wrong with kugels?"
"It's just so nerdy. Look, I have an idea for you. Why don't you get those fancy boxes of chocolates, add a nice bottle of wine, and tie it together with a red ribbon. It nice, it's classy, and it's so much more appreciated. "

I couldn't believe my ears. It was as if my friend and my sister were both reading from the same script. I felt defeated. I looked at my nerdy lukshin kugels wistfully and... put them into the freezer so that I can pull them out before Pesach.

When my husband came home, I asked him if he could please buy some boxes of chocolates and wine for shalach manos. Oh, and a roll of ribbon.

"I thought you said you were giving out lukshin kugels."
"I changed my mind."

I had completely lost my excitement for shalach manos. I made my sister come on erev Purim to assemble the "classy" shalach manos and tie the ribbons.

That year on Purim, once again, I was amazed at the creative, delicious mishloach manos all my friends gave out. I loved reading the poems and marveled at the funny puns. And I was "classy" with my fancy boxes of chocolates.

Since then, I studied this subject a bit and learned that the optimal way to fulfill this mitzva is to give foods that are real. So Laffy taffies and candy corn are out. One can debate whether fancy chocolates are "real." But since then, every year I try to give food that could be eaten as a meal. If people throw out my food, well, they don't tell me about it.

I've given out deli sub sandwiches, tuna bagels, cut up veggies and a dip, vegetable soup with Melba toast...and I always get feedback that people really appreciate having some normal food to put into their system while running around on empty all day.

So I have strayed far from my roots. My shalach manos look nothing like those that I grew up with. But I don't think my mother is disappointed in me. She has come a long way as well.

I have more to say on this subject but I will end this here. For now.

Hope you all have a wonderful day!

I just feel sorry for all the ppl who go to the trouble of making homemade foods to give out and not realize many ppl don’t eat from someone else, especially if they don’t know if it’s chalav yisrael, yashan, where the meat is bought from (what hashgacha), who exactly made it… lots of it gets dumped.

amother

Thu, Feb 17 2022, 5:32 pm

amother [ Birch ] wrote:

I hear you.

And I feel sorry for the people who go to the trouble of buying junk. And yellow Laffy taffies and black jellybeans because it matches their theme. Oh and green tea. Lots of it gets dumped as well. (The green tea gets passed on to their cleaning ladies.)

For that matter, I feel sorry for people who spend money on fake grass and shredded paper and cellophane paper and ribbons, and then spend hours wrapping it so that it should look just so, when most people just rip right into the package.

What

amother

Thu, Feb 17 2022, 5:37 pm

Also:
If you would eat in their house, would you also throw out their food?
Of course you wouldn't eat from people you don't know, but most of us exchange MM with people we do know.
Also, many times the food is marked "Yoshon, pas Yisroel, baked in a fleshing oven," etc.

ra_mom

Thu, Feb 17 2022, 5:38 pm

amother [ Birch ] wrote:

Do you really get MM from people you don't know/wouldn't eat from?

amother

Blue

Thu, Feb 17 2022, 5:40 pm

amother [ Birch ] wrote:

Do you get homemade food from strangers? The people who send homemade food tend to know the people they send it to. If you can eat in their house you can eat the Mishloach Manos.

amother

Thu, Feb 17 2022, 5:52 pm

amother [ Birch ] wrote:

Amother Birch, let me ask you a serious question.

Why do many people go to the other end of town to get just the right size and shape container, then to 5 different stores to get the right shade of candies to match their theme, and then spend hours putting together their mishloach manos? They then take pictures from every angle and post it on their whatsapp status. Why?

The answer is because they take pride in it. They enjoy it. The receiver does not care one percent as much as the giver. The receiver will ohh and ahh over it, but she got 55 other MM as well, and it's like overload.

All the candies, chocolates, soursicks and gumballs go into a big bag to either be dumped, given away or stashed.

Now...fresh homemade food. Sure some people will dump it right out. Buy my guess is that for those who will eat it, they will enjoy it much more than those who receive the candy. And even if not, just as the first type of person takes pride in her color themed candy MM, even though no one else appreciates the candy, so too, the cook or baker takes pride in her kugel or babka ,even if some of it will get thrown out.

That's how I see it.
What do you think?

amother

Thu, Feb 17 2022, 5:57 pm

Crookshanks wrote:

And I love *you,* in general. You sound so chilled and down to earth and kind from all your stories!

The love is mutual!
I don't post under my screen name, but you do, and I always appreciate your posts!