Neat house | Imamother

Ima_Shelli

Mon, May 16 2022, 8:47 am

I know people like this. It’s nice, but not my thing. It is their thing, is part of how they function (like I need to breathe, they need a clean space, so cleaning and organizing is a huge part of their lives and it is a constant constant thing, but at the same time it is part of how they function in this world so it is in some ways much less of an effort than it would be for me even though they work very hard at it objectively).

If you want your space to be somewhat neater, do some more decluttering once a month or so and/or pick a closet to declutter once a week. That will really help. Purge without mercy. And spend a bit more time on surface clean-up. Your house may never look like those people who are naturals at this but you can feel a bit better about the clutter and neatness.

Kind of like those people who are naturally stick thin, and I want to be thin like that effortlessly but I know for me it’s a huge amount of work to stay relatively slim and healthy, so I focus on attainable lifestyle and excercise things but realize it’s going to help a bit but I’ll never look effortlessly Kate Middleton. So be it.

amother

Heather

Mon, May 16 2022, 9:17 am

I have learned over the years that anybody's house that looks perfect is because they spend a ton of claim cleaning or they have a ton of cleaning help. I really haven't seen a house where it's because the kids clean a ton. I like a clean house just like everybody else and I just started getting four or five hours of cleaning up once a week and it makes a huge difference. Because I used that time while she's here to organizing and clean the kitchen because during that time she can't possibly clean everything perfectly. I also started decluttering which helps but we live and I like to have a lively happy home. And I don't have such little kids but still have to make a mess. But I am okay going to bed with the house a mess and doing it in the morning and my kids do kitchen just saying that they're not perfectionists and don't help with every little thing.

amother

Sapphire

Mon, May 16 2022, 9:26 am

On Motzei Shabbos my kids must help clean up. They put all toys and books away. Clear off dining room table. Clean kitchen table and counters. I load the dishwasher and clean the sinks and stove. I wash the floor. Kids sweep. Beds get made everyday, honestly it takes 60 seconds so do it right away. Kids have also been trained to put dirty laundry in hamper. I clean bathroom. On Sunday there won’t b much mess/dirt but there will b piles of laundry ready to be put away or ironed. And we try to go out every Sunday. I find the kids get antsy and start creating more mess if they stay in all day.

soapsuds

Mon, May 16 2022, 9:31 am

amother [ Azure ] wrote:

I have this problem. But I know some of my issues - and some of them are connected.

1. Like you, my kids do not clean up after themselves very well. I'm also guilty of this. Like I'll clean at night but I could have picked things up throughout the day.
2. I don't have a (normal, organized) place for everything so some things are not easy to put away.
3. I have too much stuff.
4. My house is old so even when it's clean it never looks amazing.
5. I have ADHD!!!!

I can relate to all of the above, especially the bolded. I believe that to be a huge factor.

busy mommy

Mon, May 16 2022, 9:45 am

My goal is not to have a perfectly neat house always but a presentably neat house at all times. I have a rule of toys in the playroom so when you walk in there are no toys to trip over. I also have places for everything so if you want to take off your shoes when you walk in the house there is a shoe rack, I have an end table with an area for books and magazines that people are reading. I clean up my house from 8-10 every sunday morning so that shabbos is away and not adding to the mess. I also find that what your kids see is what they copy (up to a point!) I take a cup, use it and throw it away. I also say out loud that I am cleaning up XYZ so they see it in action.

amother

NeonPurple

Mon, May 16 2022, 10:01 am

you would be surprised how helpful kids can be. I don't tell my kids what to do, from when they are young it's self-understood that they put their dishes in the sink or their wrappers in the bin.
It becomes second nature, I never knew to appreciate it, only once kids came to stay at our house. I was left cleaning up after them whereas my own kids put their laundry away, pack away after homework...
That's how you make the "hands-on husband" or the "helpful husband" for the future Wink

I really hope my boys will continue doing so once they are married...

amother

Mulberry

Mon, May 16 2022, 10:31 am

amother [ NeonPurple ] wrote:

My house with 4 kids sounds like the house you described in your OP.
I love having a clean tidy house, it makes me nervous when I see things out that needs packing away.
I can't go to sleep knowing the next morning I'll come downstairs to a kitchen with dishes in the sink. Don't worry when I was exhausted and so tired I have done it before but rarely.
The tip I can give you is to pack away as you go along.
I.e when I make a coffee I pour the sugar into my cup, and I pack away the sugar same with the coffee and the milk.
I know it sounds silly likes is that how my house stays tidy??? yes! my sister came over to my house she made herself a salad, in 3 minutes my counters were flying! the can of pickles, the bag of lettuce, the mayonnaise, mustard, knife, chopping board, bread bag, olives, leftover cucumber...
When I make a salad I pack away as I go along, I.e. cut up the pickles put the can back in the fridge, then go back to my chopping board, cut up peppers, and throw away the leftovers....
It might take that bit longer for your salad to be done but then no clean-up afterward. dump the chopping board and knife in the sink. when im done eating I wash the bowl I ate with and the rest of the utensils=clean sink!

This is me! Can't say my house looks spotless every second of the day but I'm constantly picking up and putting away as I go. I never let things clutter on the tables. My dining room table is always completely empty. We only use the living room and dining room area on shabbos so my mess is contained to my kitchen and playroom only.
anything that needs to go upstairs gets placed on the steps when I come across it and then I bring things upstairs as I go. My upstairs; gets organized in the morning before we go downstairs to eat breakfast. I make the beds quickly (or on good days my kids do it) and my kids either are told or on their own put their laundry in the basket. if there are random toys upstairs I put that away quickly and then we rarely go upstairs until bath time that evening so the upstairs takes about 10 min to tidy in teh morn and stays that way the whole day...

All these things really depend on your lifestyle. My neighbor has her kids party upstairs all the time so then obviously it doesn't stay need. and my dining room lights are closed and shades down the entire week until shabbos so my kids never go there so there's even less to keep tidy that way...

amother

Mon, May 16 2022, 11:26 am

I feel so validated lol

I don't have add or anything like that

im just not strict. I want my kids to be kids. but I do try and teach them to clean up so they have that in them as they grow up. and I want them to see what a healthy clean home looks like. not a museum house.

I just feel like on sundays I am constantly picking up and putting away... if someone where to show up at my door, yes I would let them in, it would not be my finest moment.

the house I was by yesterday looked healthy. not like a museum where nothing was out. but it was clean and neat. the bedrooms were all neat and clean, beds made. the living room, dining room and hallway had nothing on the floors!

yes they have a playroom which I didn't see, and very possibly have toys on the floor. but thats normal!

she does have cleaning help, but not over the weekend! even with cleaning help my house still is a mess by the next day!

amother

Mulberry

Mon, May 16 2022, 11:43 am

amother [ Butterscotch ] wrote:

We’re all created differently. I’m not ADD, but am artistic and creative, as are my children. My friend who is more organized and scheduled is very un-creative. Her home may be more organized but mine is more fun😊

just because someone's house is neat it doesn't mean its not a fun house.

my house is pretty much extremely neat at all times. and guess what? I've had neighbors tell more more than dozens of times that they love coming to my house cuz its so fun and its the best place.

amother

Cornsilk

Mon, May 16 2022, 12:07 pm

amother [ Hawthorn ] wrote:

My house is neat and clean on Sunday. Here is how we do it.

My oldest son cleans the dining room mothzei shabbos. The young kids pick up the toys and he folds the tablecloth, sweeps and washes the floor.

Each kid makes sure their rooms are spotless all toys packed away.

My husband and I do the kitchen. One washes the dishes and one dries and packs it away. One sweeps and one washes the floor. We also sweep and wash the kids rooms if needed.

I wash the bathrooms.

If we don't have as much energy on motzi shabbos, I wake up early on Sunday and clean from 8-12.

I need to start the week with a neat and clean home as I work and it's a busy house. If I don't do it on Sunday it stays messy the entire week.

It's definitely a team effort although sometimes I do it myself sunday morning when my "team" is uncooperative

We have a similar routine and go to sleep with a clean home but Sunday afternoon is a messy time. My kids are home making projects and playing with toys etc so just because shabbos is put away doesn't mean Sunday @3 looks presentable

justforfun87

Mon, May 16 2022, 12:44 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I was just speaking to a friend about this. I would say 85% of the week I cringe if someone walks in. That is the worst part of having shabbos guests for me. Shabbos morning I start getting crazy and critiquing every part of my house and getting so self concious. Getting the kids to help is like pulling teeth. The house is always flying. Not in a gross way but it just doesn't look nice. I have walked into homes where I really feel pitty for the mother. It is old as well so things aren't in good condition. I also am MIND BLOWN when I walk into clutter free perfectly manicured homes. I don't understand it. Where did I go so wrong in my parenting, where is the mess?!?! How do you have white things?

cupcake123

Mon, May 16 2022, 9:53 pm

My house is always clean and I have no cleaning help. Me and my DH are constantly cleaning. It's more my DH that is perfectionist and I learned and became like that. Now I cant stop cleaning/organizing.
Tips
❤Clean up before the mess gets bigger. Dont push it off. Just do it.
❤Incentivize YOURSELF to clean. Ex buy expensive cleaning products roomba, a steam mop, I personally use disposable toilet cleaners I just find it easier and less messy. or a different incentive structure: after I'm done the kitchen I'm buying myself lunch/coffee/going on imamother or wtvr. Whenever I feel bad about the money I just think all this is cheaper then a cleaning lady
❤get rid of stuff! Stuff you dont use or wear....
❤ start section by section and make sure everything has a place. If everything's organized you'll be more incentivized to keep it that way

Good luck OP!

zaq

Mon, May 16 2022, 11:19 pm

From what I see, people with neat houses tend to have less stuff than most or at least keep their excess stuff in "remote" storage (boxes under the bed, on high shelves in closets, e.g.) and take out very little of it for daily use. They assign everything a place and return everything to its place after use. They clean up as they go, putting washed dishes back in the cabinet, food back in the pantry, picking up stuff that fell on the floor as they walk by. Does this mean they clean all the time? Yes, if you consider throwing a used tissue or diaper in the trash or wiping down the sink surround after washing their hands to be "cleaning." They usually also draft the rest of the family into service, even if all any one child does is throw a few socks into the dirty clothes hamper. Chinuch, you know. But first and foremost is having less stuff.

amother

Crocus

Tue, May 17 2022, 9:00 am

cupcake123 wrote:

Yes I'm very similar, my husband was the more organized/perfectionist one but I caught on pretty quickly and am on top of the game now myself for the most part.
I agree that a cleaning lady is probably the secret, though you did say your friend didn't have help over the weekend (maybe double check that?)
I struggle with getting the kids to help, to feel achrayus. It's either us parents or the cleaning lady doing, which is absolutely wrong in my opinion but how do I train and instill in my kids responsibility? Getting them to do is often way harder than doing it myself so I give up. But it's not the way I want it to be or should be.