Ami serial by Riva Pomerantz Take 2

it’s okay!

Sat, Jun 10 2023, 7:24 pm

amother Tulip wrote:

I didn’t read every installment but honestly Miri didn’t come across as overly needy 🤷‍♀️

I agree. I don’t think the author portrayed her neediness very well. Other than mentioning it here and there I don’t think we actually saw it. What I saw was a young girl thrown into a horrible situation, and she really stood by her husband through it all.
I also found it to be a bit unrealistic when Miri says that what Yocheved said was what she needed to hear. The 180 turn in emotions didn’t make sense to me especially in a situation that is absolutely not normal.
Honestly, I think I would’ve left him long ago.

birdie1

Sat, Jun 10 2023, 9:07 pm

I think what Yocheved was trying to tell her is that Aryeh is in a difficult situation right now. What with his parents situation, discovering his grandmother, finding himself in therapy. He is not in a place to deal with Miris insecurities. He has to focus on getting better and her being needy will hinder all he's working on. (Still not cool bailing on her on the baby. And also she was way to harsh with Miri)

amother

Sand

Sat, Jun 10 2023, 9:11 pm

it’s okay! wrote:

Agree. And honestly , the way he acted towards her was horrid, that would make even a super confident girl feel like an insecure piece of garbage as a wife.

I feel like throughout the story there’s constant victim blaming towards Miri.

tigerwife

Sat, Jun 10 2023, 9:14 pm

I was hoping the friend would say, “Darling, why do you need this garbage in your life? Leave yesterday!”
Aryeh has been nothing but manipulative and gaslighting to Miri since the beginning. True, he had a messed up childhood and still has a messed up family, but none of this is Miri’s issue. He literally abandoned her all Shana Rishona, keeping secrets and putting his mother first always. He admitted that he had no idea what marriage was supposed to be like and saw nothing in Miri as a wife. No girl deserves this, and insecurity is the least of her issues. If anything, if she was more confident she would believe she deserves better.

And that’s my rant on a fictitious story of the day Smile

amother

Sand

Sat, Jun 10 2023, 9:51 pm

Why isn’t Arye worried about losing Miri?
Why isn’t he worried what his father in law will say? Mother in law?
Does he want to get remarried to a secure confident girl?
If I was his mother in law he would get that possibility quicker than he could blink.

amother

DarkMagenta

Sat, Jun 10 2023, 9:56 pm

amother Sand wrote:

He is very obviously clueless as to how a marriage works. He doesn’t realize the risks he’s taking.

amother

Honey

Sat, Jun 10 2023, 9:58 pm

birdie1 wrote:

Her insecurities are in huge part due to his treatment of her since day 1. As someone said, if she was more sure of herself, she'd leave him a long time ago. He should realize his luck.

amother

Honey

Sat, Jun 10 2023, 10:00 pm

amother Sand wrote:

He's only seeing his needs and wants.
I'm really not sure why his therapist didn't clearly exclude Miri when he was telling Aryeh how he always thought of others and not himself. Terrible move that led to this.

amother

Sand

Sat, Jun 10 2023, 10:20 pm

It’s also not realistic. confident girls are sometimes insecure in their marriages ,
And very very often socially insecure girls blossom in their marriages and aren’t insecure at all.

amother

Sand

Sun, Jun 11 2023, 6:51 am

Miri is being bullied (the circumstances don’t matter) and everyone is blaming her that it’s her fault.

Being confident is not the most important thing in life and being insecure isn’t an inherent fault the way the story makes it to be. Especially after the way she was treated like a piece of dirt. Even insecure people don’t deserve that!
Arye is right for abusing her because she’s insecure, there’s so much wrong with that undertone.

amother

Ivory

Sun, Jun 11 2023, 7:00 am

amother Sand wrote:

She needs to stand up for her rights!! What he did was wrong and they need massive marriage counseling and someone needs to put him into place. Maybe he would not have married her but now he’s married to her and he can’t torture her like this.

amother

Aster

Sun, Jun 11 2023, 7:34 am

many young women can be insecure
everything aryeh and co are doing to her is a guarantee to make even the most secure person insecure
while inner work is key many gain security from maturing and growing with a normal partner and in a normal marriage
they are two separate issues
her "insecurity" and/or "neediness"
and his insane gaslighting of her which would only exacerbate and inculcate insecurity and neediness

While tendencies and personalities matter the reality is that anyone in an abusive and/or gaslighting situation is going to be affected by it, don't believe otherwise, it is a false sense of security (pun intended)

the blaming of her is bizarre
she should be being reassured by those who love her that anyone would react poorly to this type of treatment particularly by her new husband shana rishonah!

really bothers me this blame the victim mentality. While it takes two to tango...in an abusive and/or dysfunctional marriage it is not always "50/50" or "well there are two sides to every story". While there can be some truth to that this is a real fallacy and huge mistake to make

tangerine

Sun, Jun 11 2023, 7:40 am

birdie1 wrote:

This story is so messed up I didn't even realize the baby is still nameless.

I figured out what Riva is trying to do.

The last chapter will be at the bris.

And they will all live happily ever after.