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koalamum
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 Tue, Jul 18 2023, 11:54 pm
| amother Vermilion wrote: | In short
Aryeh reads a miri an apology letter from his parents and presents her with a diamond infinity necklace |
My question is…did he use the $5000 for the necklace? Lol…
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amother
SandyBrown
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Tue, Jul 18 2023, 11:55 pm
| amother Jetblack wrote: | Well, I guess it fits in with the Ami narrative, that all relationships are fixable and therefore no one should ever be estranged from their parents. That parents are capable of turning into this with just a little bit of motivation.
In my own case, I would sooner believe my parents would sprout wings and fly than write such a letter. |
I would have loved an ending that takes some time in the future, let's say at a simcha of some sorts. We see that Bella is still pretty much the same, but everyone else's reaction and boundaries makes it all different. Let's say she says something horrible to Miriam. Aryeh comes to het defense and calmly reminds his mother of the boundaries they have agreed to. Bella calms down, but then gets upset about something and threatens not to come to the simcha. Maybe "you obviously hate your mother and are ashamed, fine will all stay home..." Aryeh tells her something along the lines of "you know mommy that you're wanted at the simcha, but I'm not going to engage with this anymore." Bella tries to get her husband to go along with boycotting the simcha, but he says, "I'm getting in the car with the kids and leaving in 10 minutes." Showing that he's stepping up and taking responsibility instead of being absent. Bella folds and joins. Miri acts respectful towards her mil. And Miri's mother engages Bella in conversation and keeps her away from the center of action. Bella find herself enjoying the simcha. Aryeh and Miri reflect on their journey. Acknowledge that Bella is still very difficult, but they now have the tools to navigate the situation.
I feel this would be a realistic happy ending.
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amother
Narcissus
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Wed, Jul 19 2023, 1:33 am
| amother SandyBrown wrote: | I would have loved an ending that takes some time in the future, let's say at a simcha of some sorts. We see that Bella is still pretty much the same, but everyone else's reaction and boundaries makes it all different. Let's say she says something horrible to Miriam. Aryeh comes to het defense and calmly reminds his mother of the boundaries they have agreed to. Bella calms down, but then gets upset about something and threatens not to come to the simcha. Maybe "you obviously hate your mother and are ashamed, fine will all stay home..." Aryeh tells her something along the lines of "you know mommy that you're wanted at the simcha, but I'm not going to engage with this anymore." Bella tries to get her husband to go along with boycotting the simcha, but he says, "I'm getting in the car with the kids and leaving in 10 minutes." Showing that he's stepping up and taking responsibility instead of being absent. Bella folds and joins. Miri acts respectful towards her mil. And Miri's mother engages Bella in conversation and keeps her away from the center of action. Bella find herself enjoying the simcha. Aryeh and Miri reflect on their journey. Acknowledge that Bella is still very difficult, but they now have the tools to navigate the situation.
I feel this would be a realistic happy ending. |
This is similar to my life. I don't have a personal relationship with my mom. Like I don't trust her or share anything deeply personal or emotional. Just stuoud things like what I'm making for dinner and funny things the kids say etc. We did a beach trip last week with her and we come for shabbos and yuntiv and all. I recognize she is sick and I'm no longer angry at her. I know it's not her fault she sees the world as a place where she is the victim.
I have string boundaries and like I said don't get personal with her. I also try to convey these ideas to my kids as well. There's an internal distance we have with her.
But she has also changed a lot. She listens to our boundaries and tries to apologize in her own way. Not every person is capable of getting to that place. There's still ups and downs and times we pull back our visits. But overall it's pretty stable.
Some bellas ten years later are still cursing out their kids in public and doing stuff intentionally to hurt them and get revenge on their kids. It's not neccesarily a realistic picture for everyone but it does happen.
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birdie1
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Wed, Jul 19 2023, 1:40 am
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Did the baby every have his bris???
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