Do you have a cleaning lady?

amother

Tue, May 27 2008, 1:14 pm

Where I live (riverdale, ny) just about everyone has a cleaning lady. And they all have small to average size apartments. They just feel like they're above cleaning. If they can pay someone else to clean their apartments, why do it themselves. And why not pay someone non-jewish uneducated half random woman to watch their kids for 10-12 hrs a day? Wait, they do that, too. Oh and many of those random woman clean, too. A 2 for 1! What a bargain!

I clean my apartment myself because I am physically capable of doing so. I don't enjoy it but how many do? My kids still nap so I use that time to relax and then catch up on housework. Then I do an hour after they go to bed at night. It's an apartment, not a large house, so it doesn't take long.

dora

Tue, May 27 2008, 1:27 pm

I have the same lady for the past 4 years, every Friday for 6 hrs. I have a big house and work full time. I also clean during the week but leave her the heavy cleaning and some laundry folding. For many years I had no extra help but after 26 yrs. b"h, I have no more koach for floors and bathrooms.

Raisin

Tue, May 27 2008, 1:53 pm

ChanahLeah wrote:

chocolate moose wrote:

No, never had one. I don't like to pay for anything that I can do myself.

Maybe I just don't understand, but why would you pay someone to be in and clean your personal space. I have 4 children, ranging in ages from 10 months to 19years old, and I would never pay someone to clean my home. If "we" are so busy in our lives that "we" can't find time to take care of our families properly, then maybe we should re-evaluate our prioities.

Just my opinion, but I take pride in my home and in the way my family looks(cleanliness) and I wouldn't feel right having anyone else do that, not to mention the waste of money...

many people here may have 4 kids under 5 or so. How about you borrow a few toddlers and let them stay in your house? maybe then you will understand why a cleaning lady is necessary.

ChanahLeah

Tue, May 27 2008, 3:53 pm

Raisin wrote:

ChanahLeah wrote:

chocolate moose wrote:

No, never had one. I don't like to pay for anything that I can do myself.

many people here may have 4 kids under 5 or so. How about you borrow a few toddlers and let them stay in your house? maybe then you will understand why a cleaning lady is necessary.

I KNOW people with 5 and/or 6 kids that are about 7 or 8 and younger, and they don't have a cleaning lady. I am a big advocate for doing it your self if you are able. If you are older and can't get around very well, then I would understand having a cleaning person come in.

I think there is necessity and then there is just plain laziness.. Long ago, when our grandmothers and mothers were raising kids they didn't have cleaning ladies and they had a TON of kids....

Buck up ladies and do it yourself, teach your kids to have values and take pride in their work..

amother

Tue, May 27 2008, 6:14 pm

Well I also lived in Riverdale (for 8 years). Before I had children, I had a cleaning lady once every other week (when I worked more than full time). After I had children, I had a babysitter for when I worked and she also cleaned. She was no "random" woman, but a lovely, intelligent woman who had raised her own two children and had many wise and kind things to tell me about raising children.

Yes, there were people in Riverdale who hired "random" people who didn't and don't do a good job with house or childcare. But the people who were willing to pay great housecleaners and great babysitters the wages they deserve got good care and good childcare. The people who were looking to pay as little as possible got the care and cleaning they deserved for the pay they gave.

My Riverdale friends did not have "random" help either. They had and have excellent help from great women.

Tehilla

Tue, May 27 2008, 6:22 pm

Quote:

Buck up ladies and do it yourself

hi welcome to the forum.

now, I think this particular phrase is rude. there have been years I've had cleaning ladies, and years I didn't. I never had one as a child, and my parents never did anything. I had to do all of it plus my homework, plus look after my brother, and have an afterschool job. so I've been there, done that in both ways.

many women have reasons for having a cleaning lady. and if they can afford it, and if it makes them happy, keeps shalom bayis, whatever--it doesn't matter!

momof6

Tue, May 27 2008, 6:32 pm

ChanahLeah wrote:

I think there is necessity and then there is just plain laziness.. Long ago, when our grandmothers and mothers were raising kids they didn't have cleaning ladies and they had a TON of kids....

Buck up ladies and do it yourself, teach your kids to have values and take pride in their work..

Excuuuuuuse me! I have been told by older ladies that in der heim everybody had help in the house. Mrs. Posner often told me that she doesn't understand the younger generation; Young women feel that they need to do everything....work outside of the house.. clean their own homes...
I'm glad that you find cleaning your mikdash m'at fulfilling. Don't be so quick to judge others! Each person has their own situation.

Last edited by momof6 on Tue, May 27 2008, 6:40 pm; edited 1 time in total

momof6

Tue, May 27 2008, 6:34 pm

imaof6 wrote:

Good for you! As the CEO of the home you were smart enough to delegate.

amother

Tue, May 27 2008, 6:46 pm

And this is why I don't think I will have a dozen kids...and why my kids aren't all a year apart. I only want what I can handle...that means what "I" can handle...not me and the cleaning lady and the babysitter. Make sense? I have a friend who says that she'll just get more and more help with each kid. My attitude is, have as many as you can handle.

GAMZu

Tue, May 27 2008, 6:56 pm

amother wrote:

Hm. I'd rather get a cleaning lady and be there for my kids than stop having kids so I can clean the house.

But... that's just me.

Beauty and the Beast

Tue, May 27 2008, 7:00 pm

I have my mothers cleaning lady come to me for 2,3 hours on friday.
I pay her 10 an hour. she does the bathroom, kitchen, ironing, changing lined, floors, playroom, bedrooms, and whatever else I need that week.
It is heaven sent.

raizy

Tue, May 27 2008, 7:50 pm

raison she can borrow my 5 kids plus my 5 daycare kids. so that how many kids pass through my house on a daily basis. yikes I have to wash the floors on a daily or hourly basis... just to have it wreched in a few hrs.

I can have a cleaning lady on monday and bye tuesday night it looks a wreck. I have no kuach to clean.... I work and cook and run after my kids all day . and I do mess control all day long. so let my cleaning lady do the heavy work. and I will "gasp" sit for a few minetes.... and dont ask me where. I am supposed to be lying in bed not sitting on the floor and playing with mentchies and cars. shh dont tell my doc this.

raizy

Tue, May 27 2008, 7:56 pm

and dont be so quick to judge the "young" neighbor next door. maybe she has to lye in bed ... you would never know the "true" story. and maybe she is ligned up to have a few surgereis or is trying to get pregant. so even if it looks as if she has lots of kuach . who are u to judge.?

and in the "alter heim" everyone had cleaning ladies. even the pooriest of poor. all the stories of the cleaning ladies etc.

and in the alter heim. we didnt own as much as we had today. in clothing in the size of houses etc.

dillie

Tue, May 27 2008, 8:02 pm

ChanahLeah wrote:

I think there is necessity and then there is just plain laziness.. Long ago, when our grandmothers and mothers were raising kids they didn't have cleaning ladies and they had a TON of kids....

Where did you get that from??
When my (survivor) grandmothers were having kids, they didn't have two nickels to rub together, so they had little help. One grandmother did have a little cash, she sure did have help! She didn't have a house, or fancy clothes, or a car, but yes, she had cleaning help.
When my great-grandmothers, Hy"d, were having kids: they had lots and lots of help. And lots. The rich ones had more than the poor ones, but there was always a poorer peasant girl who came around to help out.
Granted, life (and housework!) then was more physically taxing- but these were big balabustas, and somehow they didn't seem to find it demeaning to have someone help them scrub their mikdash me'at a bit.
When my grandmother hears that I got rid of my cleaning lady she tells me I'm a meshugenneh.

sarahd

Wed, May 28 2008, 3:52 am

ChannahLeah, according to halacha a man is required to pay for cleaning help for his wife if he can afford it. She can take him to beis din if he refuses and they will force him to hire a maid.

I have no interest in doing heavy cleaning; I really dislike it, and scrubbing toilets does not make me a better mother. The opposite, probably.

Ruchel

Wed, May 28 2008, 4:54 am

Good that you can.

Many women told me they couldn't even stay on their feet for more than a few minutes. Many women also cannot bend or do any big effort without pain during some parts of their pregnancy - some are forbidden to. I also don't see doing cleaning with stitches, personally. I was told no cleaning until the 6 weeks visit.

Koshermomma

Wed, May 28 2008, 5:27 am

In response to ChanahLeah:

My kids are all in school, all day. No babies. I don't honestly see how my cleaning toilets and changing their linen when they are not here makes me a better mother. What it does do, is give me free time to volunteer at my kids' school, something that the school depends on. I think that makes me a better mother. And if I choose to pay someone to do what I don't like to do, so she can then feed HER family, why does that make me a bad mother? I still do homework with them, do all the cooking, all the carpooling, all the little stuff for them, I help with their school plays, with their youth group - they know I am always there for them, and THEY are my first priority - NOT cleaning the house.

Wish I knew how to quote, but I am really computer illiterate. If someone could teach me how......

momof6

Wed, May 28 2008, 5:43 am

Koshermomma wrote:

You sound like a very involved mother good for you!
(Click quote on the upper right hand side)