Is the internet dangerous for adults ?

shabbatiscoming

Sun, Aug 07 2022, 5:35 pm

best wrote:

1. Why cant you understand others?
There are so many sites that target innocent typos. Whitehouse.gov Is the USA presidential site. Whitehouse .com used to be a [filth] site ,somtimes even openning so many windows on the 1st click that you may need to reboot ,to get rid of it

2. If you don't want gambling or [filth] ,why not block it anyway?

.

2. why should a filter be the default?

realsilver

Sun, Aug 07 2022, 8:00 pm

shabbatiscoming wrote:

2. why should a filter be the default?

As frum jews, we should be putting boundaries for ourselves in a place that can be be this detrimental. Most halachos in our day to day life come under the category of adding a boundary. Even if nobody is forcing you to add one, is should be self understood that it is commendable and necessary.

If you want to keep arguing that you yourself don't need one, go ahead. But that doesnt take away the fact that human nature dicatates that most people need an extra boost of protection and can't rely on their own self control.
Also, there are people more stringent than you, and for them seeing any underwear ad or half clothed body is enough shmutz for one day. Especially men.

amother

Junglegreen

Sun, Aug 07 2022, 10:15 pm

shabbatiscoming wrote:

Guidance is one thing. In certain communities, you have to sign a letter saying that you have only filtered internet or no internet, or your kids wont get into the school you want. Thats not guidance in my books.

You said before that you feel people can make up their own mind and don’t need a rabbi telling them what to do. That’s a lot different than what you’re saying now

amother

Junglegreen

Sun, Aug 07 2022, 10:16 pm

amother [ Maize ] wrote:

Internet cafe's generally have filtered internet.
I do not believe you that people were sitting in public view looking and shmutz.
I don't know why you think and believe that p*rn and shmutz is the only negative thing about the internet.

If I’m not mistaken, she also admitted a few times in other threads that she’s ok with her dh looking at p-rn.

amother

Junglegreen

Sun, Aug 07 2022, 10:18 pm

amother [ NeonGreen ] wrote:

Having a smartphone is like driving a car if you're going to go 90 mph on a 60 MPH highway then please get off the road. The same thing if you cannot handle a smartphone then don't get one or you need a filter.

Ok, I’m sure your wonderful suggestion will cure the entire scourge of wrongful internet use.

shabbatiscoming

Mon, Aug 08 2022, 2:14 am

amother [ Junglegreen ] wrote:

If I’m not mistaken, she also admitted a few times in other threads that she’s ok with her dh looking at p-rn.

Sure, right after 9 av, lets start bashing posters. I think p0rn is not as big a deal as some of the women here make it out to be. If you dont agree with me, fine, but dont throw that back in my face. I can still have an opinion.

shabbatiscoming

Mon, Aug 08 2022, 2:14 am

amother [ Junglegreen ] wrote:

You said before that you feel people can make up their own mind and don’t need a rabbi telling them what to do. That’s a lot different than what you’re saying now

We will have to agree to disagree because we will neve agree on these topics.

shabbatiscoming

Mon, Aug 08 2022, 2:17 am

realsilver wrote:

We will have to agree to disagree.

amother

Feverfew

Mon, Aug 08 2022, 2:50 am

I like having a filter. It doesn't substitute for self-control, there's plenty of opportunity for that. And I use a filter I can override with just a password, so it's not actually blocking my access to anything I want/need to see.

But I've made typos on websites, clicked innocent-looking search results, accidentally clicked an ad, and appreciate that my filter does a sanity check before serving me the web page in question.

I don't like the idea of a filter run by someone who gets to choose what I can or can't see, or where I need to make a call to get a site unblocked. I also would be very resentful if an organization or school started to tell me which filters I'm allowed to use.

I tried making a whitelist for myself but I use hundreds of websites on a regular basis (my work is primarily on the computer) and it didn't work. I do use whitelists for my kids, who have no need for the "wide" part of the WWW just yet.

Of course I could access whatever I want if I want it, but I have the filter up as orange safety cones, not a cement barrier.

WhatFor

Mon, Aug 08 2022, 5:43 am

amother [ Junglegreen ] wrote:

If I’m not mistaken, she also admitted a few times in other threads that she’s ok with her dh looking at p-rn.

Funny how the person who doesn't need a filter is the one who is able to follow the rules of this site, doesn't violate the rules of this site by needlessly posting anonymously, doesn't violate the rules of the site by posting anonymously to insult other posters, etc.

Meanwhile, the one advocating for the filter is the one who has difficulty following the social contract involved in using this site.

It's not a contradiction. Maybe some people need many external boundaries put in place to behave decently on the internet so they can't understand how people can behave decently without it, while many others are able to self-motivate to be civil and have basic respect for others so it's difficult to understand why the default would be to require external forces to get them to do what they're already doing.

shabbatiscoming

Mon, Aug 08 2022, 5:50 am

WhatFor wrote:

Thank you WhatFor for what you said. Anonymous posting sometimes sucks the life out of threads.

Last edited by shabbatiscoming on Mon, Aug 08 2022, 7:03 am; edited 1 time in total

amother

Butterscotch

Mon, Aug 08 2022, 5:53 am

ora_43 wrote:

IMO having a filter is like putting the corn chips on a high shelf instead of leaving the open bag in front of your face.

If you have no self-control, a filter won't help.

If you have perfect self-control, you don't need a filter.

But if you're in the other 90% of humanity, it makes it a little bit easier to make good decisions without burning through your daily dose of self-discipline.

Loved this!

imasinger

Mon, Aug 08 2022, 6:49 am

I've seen firsthand both the incredible benefits, and the incredible dangers of the internet.

For myself personally, it has been far more good than harm. 24 years ago, I met my DH online, back before Sawyouatsinai, when I lived in the middle of nowhere, on AOL's personal ads. (We were both divorced and well past age 35, not kids.) We exchanged emails, then phone calls, then began learning mishnayos together every evening on the phone, then (after a few calls to be sure we both were who and what we said), he flew 1000 miles to meet me.

DH and I have learned, and still learn, so much, on pretty much any subject you can care to name, from replacing a ripped screen on a door (or many other small household repairs) to learning better techniques of classroom control, to shiurim on any topic you can name.

We've also seen people get sucked into nightmares of addiction, or get torn apart by wolves over an ill thought out or misunderstood remark.

Overall, I'm very glad it exists, but we need to have better protections and safeguards, as filters have their flaws.

singleagain

Mon, Aug 08 2022, 6:58 am

imasinger wrote:

Perhaps instead of just banning it, we need to be taught how to use it. Instead of "this thing causes addiction..." No... A person may have an addictive personality and needs to learn control..bc if it's not the internet it's gonna be something else.

By now, there should be enough data out there to start formulating classes and understanding on the how to's instead of just "never you minds,"

amother

Taupe

Mon, Aug 08 2022, 7:19 am

My smartphone was broken for two weeks, you cannot imagine how much I accomplished without it. And I am not on Facebook or Instagram, or have hundreds of statuses to look at or even get memes. I don't use my phone for anything inappropriate even if my filter wasn't working for a while.
Basically I am using it for helpful stuff like recipes, shopping, organizational tips & hacks, getting on ima, mostly give advice when needed, or for a break, googling a phone number or a health issue or definition of a word. Emailing my therapist etc.

amother

Babyblue

Mon, Aug 08 2022, 7:33 am

Cars are dangerous for adults. Cars are like the leading cause adults in non elderly people. (I think?)

Alcohol is dangerous too. Owning a gun. Owning a pool. Plenty of good things are dangerous.

The question is, is it infantilizing and over controlling for us to be kept away from things "for our own good?"

We're adults. Isn't our own job to live responsibly and maturely?

Maybe when it's our ruchniyus in question, the rabbanim feel responsible making choices for us?

I'm just thinking out loud.