I made aliyah with teens AMA

amother

Winterberry

Wed, Sep 07 2022, 3:50 pm

Reality wrote:

I don't know anything about Givat Zeev. There are plenty of native Hebrew speakers in RBS, especially in the plainer areas where I live.

If you speak Hebrew why are you worried about jobs? I'm limited because of my poor hebrew.

My job doesnt pay as well in Israel and I would be working remote. My husbands job requires a car to travel round (constuction). He also cant charge prices he charges here, in Israel. And car insurance and gas in israel is so much more pricier no? Thats the main reason why we havent left yet

Reality

Wed, Sep 07 2022, 3:56 pm

amother Winterberry wrote:

Why would your job that you are doing remotely all of a sudden pay you less if you live in Israel?

Cars are very expensive here. We have not bought one yet. It is much cheaper to take public transportation or call car service when necessary. If you need a car for work it really is an expense.

I don't know how much contractors make here, but there certainly is work. Every block I walk down has an apartment undergoing some sort of renovations.

amother

Winterberry

Wed, Sep 07 2022, 4:04 pm

Reality wrote:

Im a therapist, I wouldnt get licensed through misrad habriut because the pay isnt worth it for the hassle of taking all the extra exams and paperwork. I would be working remote and doing telehealth. Thats what my coworkers living in Israel do. So while here I might be getting X an hour, theyre getting less than half that in israel

My dh would need a car for work :/

Reality

Wed, Sep 07 2022, 4:06 pm

To talk more about finances:

Neither my DH or I are in fields that are particularly high paying in Israel. I took a huge paycut. My DH does the same job like he had in the US. It's not a high paying job in the US either. But because he gets paid in dollars, the money stretches more in Israel than in the US.

In the US more than 50% of my income went to paying tuition. Now I'm paying about 1/3 of the tuition I used to. So we don't feel the pay cut because it all evens out.

Reality

Wed, Sep 07 2022, 4:08 pm

amother Winterberry wrote:

Ok, so telehealth pays less. Let's say you get $25 an hour instead of $50 an hour. But your bills will all be in shekels. In shekels you will be making a decent income.

Reality

Wed, Sep 07 2022, 4:31 pm

Kumphort wrote:

Was this always a family goal and discussion or was it a “last minute decision “?

Neither. It was a well planned choice. We started discussing it as a possibility a few years ago. At first, it seemed like pie in the sky, we'll do when we retire etc. Then covid hit. My DH started working remotely and then all the pieces started falling in place. Five years ago I would never have believed I would be living here.

I did see first hand, that Hashem helps you continue on in the path you want to take. As soon as we started looking seriously into moving, we discovered that there is a way around most roadblocks. So many of them are artificial barriers we create in our minds.

essie14

Thu, Sep 08 2022, 12:26 am

Reality wrote:

❤️ ❤️ ❤️
I love how positive you are and that you have BH had such a successful aliyah. I know so many successful aliyah stories with kids of all ages, and we need to publicize them!

I came when I was single, way easier 😉

farm

Thu, Sep 08 2022, 2:01 am

Thanks for the opportunity to ask rude and personal questions!
Where do you see your family in 10-20 years? Will your kids end up on the chareidi pathway or DL? Or some and some? Does it bother you that if they veer chareidi, they will be very limited economically and miss out on a lot of general education (boys)? Does it bother you that if they veer DL, they will be significantly more ‘left’ that the equivalent in the US? And have a hard time seeing eye to eye with their ‘right’ fellow Jews? Do you worry about your grandchildren getting along when in all likelihood, some will end up in the army while others will consider it verboten?
So amazing to get a glimpse of your life and experience, mazel tov on the Aliyah!

Reality

Thu, Sep 08 2022, 2:12 am

essie14 wrote:

Thank you! It is definitely easier to make aliyah when you are younger. I can't say I didn't feel badly about myself when I went to meet the teachers night and I still felt so lost. But there's always a kind parent who offers to help. There are also times when I wish we would have made this move 10 years ago. But then I think, certain transitional things would have been easier but finances would have been harder. So I try to focus on everything happens in the right time!

As far as successful aliyah stories, I agree 100%. We hear about so many failed ones, I thought it would be a nice change to post a story with a happy ending!

I also feel like many people in the US think if you aren't a newlywed making aliyah you are moving to run away from your problems. I had people ask me that to my face! Uh no, I wasn't. Part of me was scared I was making myself problems! But BH, the other part of me, that was saying it's time to leave, it's time to go home, was the correct voice in my head!

I'm sorry if I sound all la-la land because I'm generally a very grounded person. The truth is moving away from your first world home country where you have a good life doesn't ever make sense on paper. But every Jew should be yearning to return to Israel and BH it has never been easier to make that dream come true. It still isn't easy but it is a lot easier than it used to be.

Reality

Thu, Sep 08 2022, 2:32 am

farm wrote:

Those are really thought provoking questions! I'm not sure where we will be in 10 or 20 years, just like 10 or 20 years ago I would never have thought I'd be in Israel. Life has taught me it is full of surprises. 10 years ago I thought I bought my forever house in NY and look at me now!

Nobody Israeli would call my family chareidi, our home and outlook is way too open for that. The chareidi schools I send or will send some kids to, teach full secular studies and do full bagruot in high school. That's what is so lovely about RBS. You have the option to send to schools like that. They are very rare to find in Israel.

My kids in DL schools want to be DL and my kids in American chareidi schools want to be more yeshivish. There isn't much difference between them hashkafa-wise. It's more like mode of dress. I didn't want to send any child to a school where they resent the dress code. It sounds silly, but to teens clothing is important. So no way would I send a child to a school where they would feel like rebelling against the rules before they even started!!

I'm not up to the army. It's weighing heavily on my mind and we don't know what will be. What my heart and mind say are two different things!

I really don't think that my kids and grandchildren won't get along because of DL vs chareidi stuff. In most families, people choose all kinds of paths and it doesn't stop them from being a loving family. None of my kids have been raised to think there is only one path to live a torah life so why would they raise their kids like that?

amother

DarkMagenta

Thu, Sep 08 2022, 3:12 am

Kol Hakavod!
My family also made aliyah with teens but I was one of them (sort of). I was 18 and just went to seminary with my friends the first year so that year didn't feel like aliyah but then I stayed after that. I also had a younger brother who started 9th grade in Israel which I see so many people are nervous about. Obviously I can't promise how it will work out with anyone but bH he is now doing Rabanut and happily married with kids. Also have a younger brother who was around 10 when we came and he just got married to a complete Israeli!
I just wanted to add to the positive aliyah stories...

imaima

Thu, Sep 08 2022, 3:30 am

Reality wrote:

Love this answer.
I have two points to make:
1. When we preplan things like that, we often take the kids themselves out of the equation.
They will make up their minds about these things and it will be out of our control.

2. The society is changing. By the time the kids grow up, some people might become more compatible than before. Things that seem impossible before may be possible now.

The more people like Reality move to Israel, the more of a „crowd“ they will create.
I always say there is enough of my „kind“ of Jews to marry off my kids with.

chanchy123

Thu, Sep 08 2022, 6:09 am

amother Winterberry wrote:

It's true that cars are more expensive in israel (to buy and to run), however, if your husband needs a car for his job, most chances are that he will be supplied one by his employer - or write a large portion of the costs off as expenses if he is self-employed, so that shouldn't be a substantial consideration.
I do understand though how he might be paid less for the same job.

amother

Winterberry

Thu, Sep 08 2022, 10:39 am

chanchy123 wrote:

he owns his own business company here, he wouldnt work for someone in israel.
its deff a major reason why we havent left yet!

Reality

Thu, Sep 08 2022, 11:28 am

amother Ruby wrote:

Except for rules about dress what do you see as the differences between the dati leumi schools and the more open charadi schools that you send your kids to?

Do you feel your kids and their friends are more religiously inclined or more or less growing in Yiddishkeit as compared to when they were in school in America?

Aside from mode of dress? Not much.

The DL school stresses ahavat Eretz Yisrael and Medinat Yisrael a lot and the girls have a class in mishnah. Neither of those would happen in a chareidi school but I don't find the chareidi school actively denigrates the State, at least the one I send to.

Outwardly, my children look the same like they did before but I have noticed their spiritual growth. My daughters who didn't daven on their own now usually daven. All my kids were really into keeping all the shmittah mitzvot. My daughters are also a lot less materialistic than they were before. They were never very materialistic but they wanted to fit in with their peers. BH, the peer pressure about clothes in their school is really really low. So while they still care about clothes and love new clothes, I haven't heard one peep about brands since we moved here!

Reality

Thu, Sep 08 2022, 12:51 pm

keym wrote:

Can I ask what community you came FROM? (Tristate, OOT, etc).
How did your teens do socially in America (meaning do making friends come easier to them).
Did you have any teen boys in the American Yeshiva system (9th grade and up)? What type of transition did they have?

I've said many times I'm from NY. I'm middle of the road type, BY educated, fully cover my hair, knees and elbows. My DH went to typical yeshivish yeshiva, learned in bais medrash a few years after high school, was working when we got married.

None of my kids are the most popular kids but they all have their group of friends. I haven't seen a difference between the US and Israel. Older kids don't make friends in a day but they found their place within 3-6 months.

I don't have boys in high school yet.