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Forum
-> The Social Scene
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amother
Aconite
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 Mon, Sep 12 2022, 5:58 am
| amother OP wrote: | ♥️
You can do it.
What kind of first step can you take?
A victory notebook has been helping me with that.
Writing a few positive things I've done every day.
We can do hard things. |
Thanks! I'm slowly getting there. I think. I'm working on it.
I love your idea about the victory journal.
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amother
Chambray
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Mon, Sep 12 2022, 6:01 am
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Not to die from Stage 4 cancer.
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Chickensoupprof
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Mon, Sep 12 2022, 6:10 am
Having a healthy child who will be happy and has lots of luck in his life.
Be able to buy a house in a nice community
To earn some parnassa for myself and not to feel like a failure
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amother
Valerian
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Mon, Sep 12 2022, 7:41 am
My dream may seem wild.
But I've always been a dreamer since I can remember.
I want to be a CEO of a major multi-million dollar company with a professional office and lots of staff.
I want it to be an creative ,efficient and fast paced environment .
I want to look forward to waking up in the morning and running to work...
can anyone relate to this???
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amother
Cappuccino
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Mon, Sep 12 2022, 7:53 am
I want to have a vbac and a child come home from the hospital right away - non Nicu stay , no surgeries. Just a healthy baby. I want the “normal” trimester 4.
Thankful that my baby is now healthy!!
I want to be able to go kn a vacation where neither of us need to work at all
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Goody2shoes
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Mon, Sep 12 2022, 8:16 am
To be my own employer one day.
Last edited by Goody2shoes on Mon, Sep 12 2022, 9:15 am; edited 2 times in total
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amother
Catmint
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Mon, Sep 12 2022, 8:18 am
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To greet Moshiach Tzidkeinu with all my family and friends and everyone in health and joy and experience the Geulah Shleimah!
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amother
Melon
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Mon, Sep 12 2022, 8:33 am
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To lose 150 pounds (half my body weight).
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amother
Lily
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Mon, Sep 12 2022, 8:45 am
To take music lessons, either piano (which I learned as a child and still enjoy) or guitar (never learned).
To become a hatzala dispatcher.
To visit a nursing home regularly and get to know some of the people there.
To teach Torah classes for women.
The above are the dreams I have for my next phase of life, after childrearing isn't my main occupation  Right now, my hopes and dreams are mainly focused around my family.
I hope that one of my children matures to the point that they will make a good spouse one day. I'm nervous about them.
I hope that another one masters their anxiety.
I hope that another succeeds socially.
I hope that another is able to keep up physically with their peers.
I hope that another has a strong relationship with me as a teen/adult.
I hope that the baby I'm carrying inside of me right now is healthy and a happy baby and child and one-day adult.
I hope that my children grow closer together as adults, and that the rivalry that some of them feel right now falls away.
I hope that they all find spouses who value them, occupations that they can be successful and productive in, and lives that are meaningful.
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flowerpower
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Mon, Sep 12 2022, 8:47 am
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I’d love to travel more. I just need one thing- 💰💰💰
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amother
Snowflake
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Mon, Sep 12 2022, 9:06 am
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Wow- I’m blown away by peoples aspirations and desires! I can barely relate to any of it. I guess I’m more simple minded. I dream of the day that my moods will stabilize without the need for medication. I dream of the day that I will be able to fall asleep on my own without the aid of a pill.
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amother
Almond
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Mon, Sep 12 2022, 10:06 am
I dream of being really seen and understood.
I've been through many things and live with many things that most people don't know and that I can't discuss--as it wouldn't be socially or halachically acceptable.
I know many see me as something I'm not or judge me harshly based on what they think they know. Feeling not understood is probably the most painful thing I've lived with, and I've lived with a lot of painful things.
I believe if people really saw and understood me that not only would they think differently of me, they would also be impressed by how I live my life given all of the background instead of judgmental.
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amother
Aconite
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Mon, Sep 12 2022, 10:15 am
| amother Almond wrote: | I dream of being really seen and understood.
I've been through many things and live with many things that most people don't know and that I can't discuss--as it wouldn't be socially or halachically acceptable.
I know many see me as something I'm not or judge me harshly based on what they think they know. Feeling not understood is probably the most painful thing I've lived with, and I've lived with a lot of painful things.
I believe if people really saw and understood me that not only would they think differently of me, they would also be impressed by how I live my life given all of the background instead of judgmental. |
I relate. Its lonely.
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amother
Daphne
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Mon, Sep 12 2022, 10:16 am
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I really hope that my brca 2 gene doesn't affect me. And mostly important, my children.
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amother
Lily
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Mon, Sep 12 2022, 12:26 pm
| amother Daphne wrote: | | I really hope that my brca 2 gene doesn't affect me. And mostly important, my children. |
I have the mutation also. Did you just find out recently?
I found out I had it about a decade ago. My sister was diagnosed at a young age (B"H in remission for a long time now), and several women on my father's side died from "women's sicknesses" back before they called it what it was.
It was really scary at the beginning. Now the screenings have just become one of those annoying things that you do, along with dentist appointments and OB visits. I view them as my hishtadlus and realize that statistics don't really mean anything. I could have a 45% chance of something happening to me (the risk for people with a BRCA2 mutation), or I could have a 12% chance of it happening to me (the risk in the normal population), and either way if Hashem wants it to happen to me, it will. If not, not. All it means is that I need to do a few more screenings than I normally would in order to be responsible.
I'm not trying to downplay things. I understand that there are other decisions I might have to make at some point about surgeries and things. But I choose not to care about those things right now because I'm in my childbearing years--although they're nearing an end now--and I know there are no decisions I plan on making until those years are over.
And I realize that if the worst would happen, cvs, it would be a huge upheaval and awful and horrible. And if it would happen cvs to my kids, it would also be awful and horrible. But car accidents are also awful and horrible and I don't worry about them every time my kids get into a car.
I don't know if any of this is helpful. I just know that in the whirlwind of anxiety that I felt when I first heard I had the mutation, I wish I'd realized some of this and been able to "talk myself down" from being overly worried. If this isn't helpful, please ignore it all 
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amother
Dill
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Mon, Sep 12 2022, 1:30 pm
Buy my dream house
Have security in my marriage
DH should find himself and be truly happy, get a job that makes him feel good about himself
Heal the broken little girl inside of me make her feel secure and happy
Have the most satisfying delicious marriage
Lengthen my cycles while on birth control from 28 days to 40-50 (Halevai)
Never fight with my husband again
Never yell at my kids again
Lose 15 pounds
Have another 2 kids
Feel secure in my world
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amother
Copper
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Mon, Sep 12 2022, 4:35 pm
To feel part of a community. As a BT who integrated into yeshivish world, its hard feeling lonely and not accepted. I dream that my children will have family get togethers and frum cousins to spend time with.
I dream that my family will become frum.
I dream that we will get out of debt, Ill pay off my stupid speech masters loans and enjoy my work one day.
I hope to have a strong marriage of respect and love iyh! And lots of happy children iyh.
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amother
OP
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Mon, Sep 12 2022, 6:54 pm
| amother Snowflake wrote: | | Wow- I’m blown away by peoples aspirations and desires! I can barely relate to any of it. I guess I’m more simple minded. I dream of the day that my moods will stabilize without the need for medication. I dream of the day that I will be able to fall asleep on my own without the aid of a pill. |
This are big dreams too. ❤️
My motto is that if I'm dreaming already, I may as well dream big.
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amother
OP
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Mon, Sep 12 2022, 6:56 pm
| amother Almond wrote: | I dream of being really seen and understood.
I've been through many things and live with many things that most people don't know and that I can't discuss--as it wouldn't be socially or halachically acceptable.
I know many see me as something I'm not or judge me harshly based on what they think they know. Feeling not understood is probably the most painful thing I've lived with, and I've lived with a lot of painful things.
I believe if people really saw and understood me that not only would they think differently of me, they would also be impressed by how I live my life given all of the background instead of judgmental. |
That is so difficult.
I relate completely.
I can write about it here though, and get some support. (As well as bashing... Which I do try to tune out.)
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amother
Rainbow
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Mon, Sep 12 2022, 7:20 pm
My dream is to get married (I'm in my upper 20s and divorced, was married very short).
I'm very nervous to get married and I have a lot of PTSD from my childhood.
My biggest dream is to get married. I'd also love to have a child.
But I'm just so terrified to do all these things.
Though they are my biggest dreams.
I also dream of not having so much anxiety and fear and feel more free, happy and at ease.
I feel so weighted down and so stuck with all my thoughts. And I feel so lonely.
I have lot's of dreams. But I'm too bogged down by pain, fear and stuckness to move on.
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