I’m so done | Imamother

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I’m so done

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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Our Challenging Children (gifted, ADHD, sensitive, defiant)

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amother

Sage

Tue, Nov 22 2022, 11:38 am

You need to lower your expectations of him, kids with ADHD are six years behind developmentally. He'll catch up one day. Unless the system crushes him. Be kind to him, recognize he's dealing with a lot, celebrate every and any thing he accomplishes. You have no idea what its like to have his brain.

amother

Sage

Tue, Nov 22 2022, 12:13 pm

Also- sloppiness, laziness, lack of personal hygiene, not listening, not taking responsibility are all things that many neurotypical teenagers (especially young teens like 13) struggle with. I thought you were going to say he's bouncing off the walls, impulsive, getting into dangerous behaviors, constantly bothering his siblings, failing through school...none of what you listed seems so out of the ordinary honestly. Especially for a kid with severe adhd, I think you might need to reset your outlook on what's the norm.

amother

Orange

Tue, Nov 22 2022, 12:18 pm

I think you’re right about looking into an out of town type yeshiva.
Look into englewood yeshiva. There are boys like that there. It will help him learn how to be responsible for himself and how to live with other people. He can’t do that very well at home.
Also make sure his meds are right.

amother

Tue, Nov 22 2022, 5:09 pm

And now I got a letter that his camp won’t take him back. Sigh. Any ideas?

amother

Amber

Tue, Nov 22 2022, 5:17 pm

Your son sounds like my son. Also 13. Have you tried the nurtured heart approach and looked into High functioning autism? I'm sure (like me) you sound like you've done everything. Truth is and this is just another thought - the meds were a total disaster. Capital d there. Made him behave terribly.

amother

Tue, Nov 22 2022, 5:19 pm

amother Amber wrote:

We did look into high functioning autism and while some doctors think there might be a component of spectrum like tendencies, it seems like the majority of his behaviors are related to his adhd. He’s super social. Loves hanging out with friends

I’ve heard of the nurtured heart, but don’t recall exactly what

amother

Tue, Nov 22 2022, 5:19 pm

And I’ve tried no meds and then he’s really bouncing off the walls and he gets into physical confrontations with others- not good

amother

Lightcyan

Tue, Nov 22 2022, 5:20 pm

amother OP wrote:

My 13 year old literally drives me up the wall. He has severe adhd and possibly something else but every specialist has disagreed if/what that something is. I feel my blood pressure rising just thinking about how difficult life is with him. It’s so sad because it overshadows our love for him, it’s that strong. He literally walks through life not doing a single thing or definitely not doing it properly and then expects to be treated with the same privileges of a typical kid his age. He argues all day that he really did it or is amazing etc. I literally don’t feel well from our interactions. I’ve tried every program. All of them don’t work because he just doesn’t care. He thinks there is nothing wrong, when the reality is incredibly dysfunctional.

I don’t know what I’m looking for. Maybe recommendations for camp that’s like a boot camp and won’t kick him out for not cooperating and make him cooperate in the tri state area. Maybe a yeshiva for high school? We are more to the right but not Yeshivish but at this point I’m willing to consider any type that helps us make him a mentch.

I don’t have any advice for you, I just want you to know you are not alone. You described my son to a T. You described our days and our interactions perfectly.

Stars

Tue, Nov 22 2022, 5:33 pm

PM me if you’d like to join a WhatsApp support group for adhd/hf asd , whether it’s yourself or your child

amother

Tue, Nov 22 2022, 7:26 pm

Stars wrote:

PM me if you’d like to join a WhatsApp support group for adhd/hf asd , whether it’s yourself or your child

I pmed you. Thank you

amother

Tue, Nov 22 2022, 7:26 pm

amother Lightcyan wrote:

I don’t have any advice for you, I just want you to know you are not alone. You described my son to a T. You described our days and our interactions perfectly.

I’m sorry

amother

Almond

Tue, Nov 22 2022, 9:47 pm

sounds a lot like my son! I'm sorry its rough.

Try camp kaylie they take kids like this.

I would look into alternative medicine. the regular ones help but really aren't enough. Try functional medicine or homeopathy.

amother

Tue, Nov 22 2022, 10:30 pm

amother Almond wrote:

My friend’s son was sent home from there for not being cooperative 🤷‍♀️

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