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Forum
-> Parenting our children
-> Infants
amother
Chambray
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Wed, Nov 30 2022, 10:46 pm
I locked all my cabinets besides for 1 that I let them empty. When that got too much, I had a box in my kitchen with whichever of my cooking utensils my baby was playing with. I'd leave them in the box and wash them before I used them instead of stressing out that I needed to wash them and put them away every time they played with it.
If there's a particularly bad day, I'd plop baby in a cardboard box or laundry basket in the kitchen with a pot and spoon. I'd also give them empty spice containers.
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amother
Stone
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Wed, Nov 30 2022, 11:13 pm
Yep. Me too. My baby screams with increasing intensity when I put her down. Making dinner is a disaster. She grabs my legs and wipes her nose on my skirt while her face turns redder and redder.
I talk to her to try and calm her down while I VERY quickly throw some food together. But it's not enough for my little one. And she has been this way always. And she is 16 months old. It's very challenging. Not all kids are like this. My others weren't. I just tell myself she won't do this forever.
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SG18
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Thu, Dec 01 2022, 2:23 am
If baby can't be left on the floor, put him in a highchair, so he can see you and be near you. It doesn't have to be eating garbage or feeling abandoned in the other room.
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WhatFor
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Thu, Dec 01 2022, 2:39 am
I do a mix of wearing when they're younger, then leaving them a cabinet with certain pots or containers when they get older, and sometimes not doing certain things unless they're asleep when they're in the most difficult stages. (Okay, I'll admit I've also done a tiny bit of screen time when things are desperate. I think it's healthier for a baby than the cortisol released from their stress and screaming. But that's when they're at least toddler age and infrequently. )
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imaima
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Thu, Dec 01 2022, 2:55 am
amother OP wrote: | I sort of understand that for going to the bathroom (if it's quick)
Now what about making supper for example do you have the baby in the kitchen with you emptying the cabinets and finding iwy things to eat or do you leave them with their toys and let them scream or perhaps you have an even better solution I haven't thought of
It's so hard to hear them cry and know that they feel abandoned |
Have the toys in the kitchen or in a spot where they can see you
Put only safe items in lower drawers: rolling pin, plastic containers, silicone baking forms, small ziplocks. Then the baby will explore the drawers. You will have to put it all back.
Put them in a highchair to hang out while you cook.
Wait till another grown up is around to take care the baby.
That being said I can’t do anything with babies.
I have help.
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imaima
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Thu, Dec 01 2022, 2:56 am
amother OP wrote: | Baby plays with garbage sticks hand deep under cabinets and oven and just managed to find things, also it's a small apartment so baby will wander to other rooms and then I'm in middle of cooking and need to check up on baby (maybe I should try screaming when baby leaves lol)
I've been convinced that baby containers of any sort are terrible so I really have nothing besides a high chair but maybe I should get some sort of swing or something |
Playpen
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4g01o
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Thu, Dec 01 2022, 3:10 am
I've tried everything, my baby is something else impossible
He's my 5th and I've never had one like this.
He wants to be held even when I'm in the room with him (which is almost all day because I dare leave to go put a wash on, or to the toilet!)
He sleeps in my bed most of the night.
I often wait until my dh comes home, but by then I'm so tired.
Or he cries for a few mins, there's nothing I can do. My youngest before him only gets home from school at 4.30, but even she doesn't help with the crying that much.
He just wants me, it's draining.
I totally get you op. This too shall pass!
Eta: it's 8.10am here and my arm is already hurting, and I have my other kids to sort out for school!
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amother
OP
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Thu, Dec 01 2022, 7:43 am
Fab4 wrote: | I've tried everything, my baby is something else impossible
He's my 5th and I've never had one like this.
He wants to be held even when I'm in the room with him (which is almost all day because I dare leave to go put a wash on, or to the toilet!)
He sleeps in my bed most of the night.
I often wait until my dh comes home, but by then I'm so tired.
Or he cries for a few mins, there's nothing I can do. My youngest before him only gets home from school at 4.30, but even she doesn't help with the crying that much.
He just wants me, it's draining.
I totally get you op. This too shall pass!
Eta: it's 8.10am here and my arm is already hurting, and I have my other kids to sort out for school! |
That sounds so tough! Wishing you lots of luck!
I'm far from an expert but one thing I've learnt on imamother is that physical behavior issues can be linked to so much deeper, I wonder if there's something more going on, doesn't sound usual to me but again what do I know
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4g01o
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Thu, Dec 01 2022, 8:34 am
amother OP wrote: | That sounds so tough! Wishing you lots of luck!
I'm far from an expert but one thing I've learnt on imamother is that physical behavior issues can be linked to so much deeper, I wonder if there's something more going on, doesn't sound usual to me but again what do I know |
Yes there definitely is.
He's had reflux so he has good and bad times/days. Its very hard. He's not on any meds though, I've stuck it out because it's not constant. And I'd rather not pump meds into him.
He's growing and developmentally doing great bh
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Aurora
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Thu, Dec 01 2022, 9:54 am
Playpen, or one of those big sets of baby gates with toys inside. Or I have a cabinet with stuff that isn't fragile for small kids.
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amother
Garnet
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Thu, Dec 01 2022, 10:18 am
amother OP wrote: | That sounds so tough! Wishing you lots of luck!
I'm far from an expert but one thing I've learnt on imamother is that physical behavior issues can be linked to so much deeper, I wonder if there's something more going on, doesn't sound usual to me but again what do I know |
This is what I was thinking. I had such a baby and was literally losing my mind. In desperation, I took him to a cranial therapist who was b"H a good shaliach. It came down to birth trauma.
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gootlfriends
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Thu, Dec 01 2022, 10:27 am
Have them play in the room you are in except the bathroom. At 13 months they can sit in the corner or cruise around the room. We used the exersaucer for that.
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amother
Papaya
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Thu, Dec 01 2022, 10:41 am
the high chair comment made me laugh. my kids refuse high chairs even for eating! I relate to this struggle a lot. I often feel guilty that I have a lot of childcare help but this is the reason why! I can't get anything else done when caring for my kids. they are just intense
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amother
Wandflower
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Thu, Dec 01 2022, 12:13 pm
Fab4 wrote: | Yes there definitely is.
He's had reflux so he has good and bad times/days. Its very hard. He's not on any meds though, I've stuck it out because it's not constant. And I'd rather not pump meds into him.
He's growing and developmentally doing great bh |
If he has reflux he’s probably in pain why wouldn’t you give him meds?
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amother
Wandflower
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Thu, Dec 01 2022, 12:13 pm
Playpen or baby gate in the kitchen. Don’t leave your baby alone and screaming.
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4g01o
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Thu, Dec 01 2022, 12:27 pm
amother Wandflower wrote: | If he has reflux he’s probably in pain why wouldn’t you give him meds? |
I did try, when he was around 3 months and it didn't seem to help so I stopped it.
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amother
Mistyrose
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Thu, Dec 01 2022, 9:00 pm
You can hire a young girl to hold your baby and play with him for like an hour, if you can afford it.
The other solution is to prep supper in advance so you just have to warm it up. Can you cook late at night after the baby is sleeping? And do other chores then too if you can.
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amother
Maple
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Thu, Dec 01 2022, 9:11 pm
Gosh I relate
My baby is 15m, walks alread, but only wants to be on me. And sometimes even on me cries hysterically. Won't even be happy in same room, if I try to cook he'll be there crying at my skirt desperately. Sometimes he'll play if I'm sitting on the floor with him. But as soon as I get up he's there, crying at my feet. It's so exhausting. I've tried figurung out if there's something underlying but I dont know I just dont have energy anymore.
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4g01o
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Fri, Dec 02 2022, 3:04 am
amother Maple wrote: | Gosh I relate
My baby is 15m, walks alread, but only wants to be on me. And sometimes even on me cries hysterically. Won't even be happy in same room, if I try to cook he'll be there crying at my skirt desperately. Sometimes he'll play if I'm sitting on the floor with him. But as soon as I get up he's there, crying at my feet. It's so exhausting. I've tried figurung out if there's something underlying but I dont know I just dont have energy anymore. |
I know exactly what you mean.
Every day is different here, but I don't take the easier ones (like today so far) for granted.
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amother
Dodgerblue
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Fri, Dec 02 2022, 3:51 am
Baby carrier! But put your baby facing you so he can’t touch dangerous things like hot pots, knives… it’s not easy doing things like that especially my back aches when reaching past to do dishes. But nothing else works and at least I hav my hands free to do laundry, cooking, cleaning, bathing the other kids… hatzlocha! Much beach’s, nachas and koach!
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