Name a question that can't have a sensitive answer.

amother

Watermelon

Fri, Dec 30 2022, 11:59 am

theoneandonly wrote:

All of these can be "triggering" or "offensive."
How are you - I just got diagnosed with a terrible disease, laid off from my job, and my dog died. How dare you pry!

Where are you from - classified as a racist microaggression nowadays. I wish I was joking.

What do you do - I was just laid off, how dare you rub salt in my wounds

How do you know the Baal Simcha - I married her good for nothing cousin who treats me terribly and I'm about to get divorced.

Basically ppl who want to get offended will get offended. Ignore them and live your life.

I know you find it funny, I do too, but my husband hates this question. We are Chassidish and his English has a very definite Yiddish accent. Whenever we're out or traveling people ask him if he's Slavic and when he immigrated.

amother

Stonewash

Fri, Dec 30 2022, 12:55 pm

zaq wrote:

do people generally invite their therapists or parole officers to their simchas?

Firstly, yes, there were multiple threads here where people said they invited current or former therapists to a simcha.

Second, as someone else said, it could be a life coach not a therapist.

Third, thinking of myself - I have a mentor whose family simchos I go to. She specifically wants me to feel comfortable with her family and I technically don’t mind. But it’s not a relationship I publicize and I would not admit to anyone how I know the baal simcha. The question would make me feel very very uncomfortable.

amother

Lightpink

Fri, Dec 30 2022, 1:17 pm

amother Watermelon wrote:

Oy I did this only once-I had moved to a new block and was talking to one of the frum neighbors. He spoke with an accent I asked him where he grew up he smirked and said “Williamsburg” ( we are JPF and he looked the same). I really felt bad.

amother

Hibiscus

Sat, Dec 31 2022, 9:54 am

amother OP wrote:

Even asking for a recipe can be a touchy subject.

Sometimes people are sensitive towards a specific topic and find related questions offensive.
You did nothing wrong if you broached that topic but you do need to read the person and back off if you sense hesitation and pain. Iits offensive to keep insisting on answers.

zaq

Sat, Dec 31 2022, 3:58 pm

Bekitzur, ladies, when you go to a simcha, come prepared with a brief Dvar Torah--not your own, but something from an acknowledged rabbinic authority; some grammen praising the baalei hasimcha, the chosson, the kallah, the bar mitzvah boy, or the infant about to be inducted into the Covenant of Abraham; and a map of the hall so you can direct people to the powder room and washing station. While even these topics are not entirely risk-free, they're probably as safe as one can be without remaining entirely mute. I suggest going around the table with each guest presenting the Dvar Torah or grammen she prepared. Five-minute limit on each, ten people per table, makes 50 minutes total, which is about right between eating the meal and getting up to dance.

amother

Cappuccino

Sun, Jan 01 2023, 1:15 am

doodlesmom wrote:

I actually sat near a young newly divorced friend who was asked what her name was. And then questioned what her maiden name was when in reality she was called by her maiden name…..the woman insisted on repeating the question until she was bluntly told…..

I stopped covering my hair post divorce for this reason. I couldn't handle the question.

amother

Clematis

Sun, Jan 01 2023, 4:46 am

[quote="[url=https://www.imamother.com/forum/viewtopic.php?p=6647818#6647818][b][color=black]

How do you know the Baal simcha: if you’re at the simcha, you’re likely not about to get divorced or on awful terms with them….
[/quote]

I wish. I have an uncomfortable situation (to put it mildly) with DH's brother and family. Every simcha they make that I don't try to get out of, I'm extremely uncomfortable and counting down when I can leave and hope it's before I start having an anxiety attack

mommy3b2c

Sun, Jan 01 2023, 6:34 am

amother DarkMagenta wrote:

Yup, I have a close friend I made here on imamother.
When asked how I know her, I say, it's a long story! - It is!!!

As an aside, I'm finding this thread to be so ridiculous and funny, thanx for the laughs!!!

My secretary is someone I met from imamother. When people ask how we met , I say “friend of a friend” I don’t storm off in a huff and complain about intrusive questions. It’s a normal question . As long as you’re asking normal questions it’s on the other person if they respond like an idiot . Banging head

amother

Alyssum

Sun, Jan 01 2023, 9:54 am

amother Lightpink wrote:

Seriously? That's one of the first questions I ask people regardless of how they speak. Even if they sound just like me, doesn't mean they grew up on the same block.

theoneandonly

Sun, Jan 01 2023, 9:56 am

amother Springgreen wrote:

Would you like your 50 thousand dollar gift to be paid by cash, or check?

Excuse me? How dare you insinuate that I am poor, need handouts, and can't provide for my family on my own??