Please don't bring babies or young children to megillah

teachkids

Fri, Mar 22 2024, 5:26 pm

amother Mauve wrote:

You don't have to make up the words either.
If you're in the same room as the baal koreh & answer amen to the brachos, then you're yotzeh even if you didn't hear every word.
This hearing every word panic, is only a thing by women. It's a self made anxiety.

Nope. The halacha in the shul chan aruch is that as long as you're there youre ok AS LONG AS YOU'RE HEARING IT FROM THE BAAL KOREH AND NOT SOMEONE ELSE. Because there's the principle that no one can hear two voices at once so if I'm hearing "can I have a snack", them I definitely didn't hear what the Baal koreh read.

amother

Foxglove

Fri, Mar 22 2024, 5:29 pm

According to Mishnah Berurah, you can read up to half from your own Chumash/megillah if you miss part. The majority needs to be from a kosher megillah.

Before attacking other women, find out the halacha instead of panicking and assuming you need to hear the entire thing again.

amother

Lightcyan

Fri, Mar 22 2024, 5:33 pm

amother Mauve wrote:

This hearing every word panic, is only a thing by women. It's a self made anxiety.

How do you know?
I've heard men complain and express concerns about noise during megillah. I've been at readings where the baal koreh stopped for a several long moments while there was unexpected noise and did not continue reading until it stopped, whether it was a chair scraping or an accidental early firecracker or grogger.
It just happens to be, noise during the reading tends to affect women more because that's where the young children tend to be. I've never seen a man take a toddler or baby into the men's section during the reading. So if there are kids making loud noises, it's usually the women who end up having to deal with the consequence. Btw, it's happened to me and other women I know, and none of the men in our lives told us it's ok, that we were yotzei. They were sympathetic but agreed, we had no choice but to go to a second leining.
It's also not helpful to say that the woman can just read to herself. It's extremely stressful to have to do that for several psukim or prakim with a baal koreh speeding ahead and no hope of catching up. At that point, most people would just give up and resign themselves to having to go to another leining.

amother

Mauve

Fri, Mar 22 2024, 5:35 pm

amother Lightcyan wrote:

How do you know?
I've heard men complain and express concerns about kids making noise during megillah. I've been at readings where the baal koreh stopped for a several long moments while there was unexpected noise and did not continue reading until it stopped, whether it was a chair scraping or an accidental early firecracker or grogger.
It just happens to be, noise during the reading tends to affect women more because that's where the young children tend to be. I've never seen a man take a toddler or baby into the men's section during the reading. So if there are kids making loud noises, it's usually the women who end up having to deal with the consequence. Btw, it's happened to me and other women I know, and none of the men in our lives told us it's ok, that we were yotzei. They were sympathetic but agreed, we had no choice but to go to a second leining.
It's also not helpful to say that the woman can just read to herself. It's extremely stressful to have to do that for several psukim or prakim with a baal koreh speeding ahead and no hope of catching up. At that point, most people would just give up and resign themselves to having to go to another leining.

There are kids in the mens section as well.
That said, one should ask a Rav before hearing megilla again.

amother

Lightcyan

Fri, Mar 22 2024, 5:37 pm

amother Mauve wrote:

There are kids in the mens section as well.
That said, one should ask a Rav before hearing megilla again.

Really? Toddlers and babies? I've never seen that in a men's section during megillah.
Yes, the women I know (including me) asked a rabbi as well and were told we needed to hear it again.

amother

Celeste

Fri, Mar 22 2024, 5:52 pm

This is why I appreciate my shul soooooo much
We have the regular main Megillah reading
Then there is a teens/young adults Megillah reading
Then there’s the kids Megillah reading for all ages, but the rule is you can’t get annoyed at all the noise and unless you are reading from your own Megillah you probably WONT be Yotze
And then there are 2 more readings afterwards, but you must be 12 and older to attend, with no issues of keeping silent the entire time.

amother

Jean

Fri, Mar 22 2024, 6:16 pm

Just curious for all those who don't bring kids to Megilla - so how do you teach your kids the excitement of mitzvos? How do you teach your very young impressionable kids that you value that they take part in Megilla too?
Do you bring them afterwards to a kid friendly megilla where they can shake their graggers and feel the thrill of purim from a young age ? An age where they form their impressions and chinuch cements into their very foundation?
Or do you just leave them at home where they barely even realize its purim while you trade off turns with your husband and they never get to go until age 6 or 7 or so?
What do you tell your preschoolers when they come home with their school craft graggers- what do they think its used for?

amother

Silver

Fri, Mar 22 2024, 6:22 pm

amother Jean wrote:

My kids can be quiet in shul from about 4 years old.

teachkids

Fri, Mar 22 2024, 6:24 pm

amother Jean wrote:

Either we go to the kid friendly reading (after I've already been yotzei) or my husband takes out the megillah at some point in the afternoon and reads a perek or two for them. They prefer going to shul, but it doesn't always work out.

amother

Vanilla

Fri, Mar 22 2024, 6:24 pm

amother Jean wrote:

While I go to ladies megillah, my husband runs a megillah laining in the living room.
All children under 6/7 bring their graggers and picture megilos, we have a passul scroll. My husband reads a Perek Gimmel and they all shake gleefully.

We've been doing this for more than 15 years.

amother

Whitewash

Fri, Mar 22 2024, 6:48 pm

Pertaining to chinuch and allowing children to hear megilla and understand the importance of the reading and the silence: Some solutions- which I have used throughout the years
1- dh leins
2- go to shul but stand by door and ready to skeddadle. (Then come back alone without kids)
3- pay someone to come lein
4- stand outside near the window (ask for the window to be opened, if it’s not a high traffic area)
5- ask if neighbors have a leining at home , can we join?
Gut shabbos and purim sameach

amother

Aubergine

Fri, Mar 22 2024, 6:50 pm

IDK maybe I had a special merit donated to me, but I never took my kids to shul until they were old enough to sit quietly through the service. I don't hold with babies in shul. Yet somehow they absorbed a love of Torah and mitzvos, they're all in kollel not because they were pushed but because they want to be there, one is a rosh chaburah and one a maggid shiur. Being kept out of shul in toddler hood didn't seem to adversely affect their religious development.

LovesHashem

Sat, Mar 23 2024, 1:33 pm

amother Jean wrote:

We can "join" one of the chabad readings that are situated all over my city read every hour. I don't know how anyone fufuols their Mitzvah with these outdoors rowdy readings with tons of drunk people passing by and cars with music passing by etc.

There's like a billion others parts of Purim too, and there's children's reading that take over an hour where they stop every time a kid makes noise.

amother

Periwinkle

Sat, Mar 23 2024, 3:52 pm

I didn’t read through the thread, but I went to the first reading that was for men and women. They were quite a few little kids running in and out being quite loud. There are also quite a lot of older men and I’m sure that they already have trouble hearing including my dad. The lady sitting two seats away for me kept having conversations with her child. I mean legitimate conversations like do you have enough food if you want some more snacks? I don’t know how she could possibly think that she fulfilled hearing it. It’s one thing that I’m trying to hear it over noise and reading along so I think I hear most of it but I don’t know how her having a full on conversation with her kid was OK. It was a very frustrating reading my youngest is nine and sits quietly. But when my kids were little, I never went at the same time as my husband. I knew it wasn’t fair to everybody else. I live in RBS there are hundreds of reading so definitely no excuse that there aren’t any other ones. I’m sure she just wanted to hear it early and get it over with, and she wasn’t the only one. While she was only one with a full on conversation, but there were tons of Noisey kids.

teachkids

Sat, Mar 23 2024, 9:54 pm

amother Gray wrote:

I have no one to watch my kids tonight (trust me, no suggestions please). Does that mean I can just skip it?

Aren't your kids asleep anyway? Can you hire a babysitter? Or give your rav a call in about half an hour and ask if there's anyone who can come read for you at home

amother

Foxglove

Sat, Mar 23 2024, 10:00 pm

teachkids wrote:

Aren't your kids asleep anyway? Can you hire a babysitter? Or give your rav a call in about half an hour and ask if there's anyone who can come read for you at home

I don't know of any babysitters available on Purim.

amother

Foxglove

Sat, Mar 23 2024, 10:01 pm

teachkids wrote:

Aren't your kids asleep anyway? Can you hire a babysitter? Or give your rav a call in about half an hour and ask if there's anyone who can come read for you at home

And meanwhile, as she's trying to follow all your suggestions, to no avail, she'll probably miss megillah. Can't Believe It