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-> Yom Tov / Holidays
-> Purim
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amother
Cappuccino
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 Sat, Mar 23 2024, 10:01 pm
I have non Jewish neighbors with teenagers who do shabbos Babysitting for us and would do purim too if we asked. If the kids are too young to come to megillah they should be asleep anyway
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amother
NeonPink
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Sat, Mar 23 2024, 11:17 pm
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I live in a small very oot community. There are not multiple options for megilah reading, and there are not enough babysitters for all the kids. My husband can't read for me, and I don't think anyone else could either. Our options are to go as a family, or have me miss the mitzvah completely to stay home with my child. B"H Chabad reads FAST, and my 4yoDS did a great job of being quiet for 15 minutes - I was so proud of him! Other kids made a drop of noise, but B"H everyone was very patient.
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amother
Mint
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Sun, Mar 24 2024, 12:50 am
This thread makes me sad every year. A shul without children is a skeleton. Our kids anticipate Purim all year, they learn about it, they prepare for it, they deserve to be active participants in it. It's a communal responsibility to make sure there are megillah readings that can handle the noise of healthy, appropriately behaving children while still ensuring that everyone can do the mitzvah.
That said, my shul values children immensely and they are encouraged to be at megillah reading (with snacks and bottles and coloring sheets and fidget toys) and we have options for mothers who want to come alone after the kids are in bed. My kids who are all under 7 including a toddler and a baby behaved absolutely beautifully and were nearly silent while the little pod of ~11 year old girls were talking and making noise. It was fine, we all heard anyway. But I thought of this thread and the irony that if anyone were to need to hear megillah again, it wouldn't be because of the toddlers or preschoolers but because of the preteens old enough to be there.
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amother
Acacia
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Sun, Mar 24 2024, 12:56 am
| amother Mint wrote: | This thread makes me sad every year. A shul without children is a skeleton. Our kids anticipate Purim all year, they learn about it, they prepare for it, they deserve to be active participants in it. It's a communal responsibility to make sure there are megillah readings that can handle the noise of healthy, appropriately behaving children while still ensuring that everyone can do the mitzvah.
That said, my shul values children immensely and they are encouraged to be at megillah reading (with snacks and bottles and coloring sheets and fidget toys) and we have options for mothers who want to come alone after the kids are in bed. My kids who are all under 7 including a toddler and a baby behaved absolutely beautifully and were nearly silent while the little pod of ~11 year old girls were talking and making noise. It was fine, we all heard anyway. But I thought of this thread and the irony that if anyone were to need to hear megillah again, it wouldn't be because of the toddlers or preschoolers but because of the preteens old enough to be there. |
Shul without babies and toddlers is far from a skeleton. Also there are different readings where it’s more appropriate than others to bring the kids. So please take it seriously. That’s all.
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amother
Mint
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Sun, Mar 24 2024, 12:58 am
| amother Acacia wrote: | | Shul without babies and toddlers is far from a skeleton. Also there are different readings where it’s more appropriate than others to bring the kids. So please take it seriously. That’s all. |
It's almost like you didn't bother actually reading my post.
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amother
Acacia
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Sun, Mar 24 2024, 1:02 am
| amother Mint wrote: | | It's almost like you didn't bother actually reading my post. |
What parts of your post do you think I didn’t read? The average seven year old and under, babies included, probably can’t sit still and quiet for Megillah. I’m happy it worked for you. If a shul has a reading that makes sense to bring the kids then yay. But obviously the OP was referring to situations in which that isn’t the case otherwise no one would be concerned about not hearing Megillah properly due to the kids and the whole thread would be a moot point.
Is it the irony because of the eleven year olds? They shouldn’t have been there either I guess but doesn’t mitigate the point about the babies.
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amother
Brickred
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Sun, Mar 24 2024, 1:25 am
Where do you all live? Where I live I just saw a spreadsheet with many shuls having readings for multiple times, ones for kids and ones without kids.
Also how do you not have anyone to babysit? Where is your husband???
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amother
Geranium
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Sun, Mar 24 2024, 1:47 am
One year I went to my shuls main one. I wasn't yotze due to adults and kids talking.
I go to a late one after DH comes home - my shul has 2. Even my relatives very OOT (I am OOT but have several shuls and options) have 2 leinings.
I won't take my kids. This year my 10 year old went with DH but I won't take my younger kids. They can't sit quietly for 5 minutes, let alone 30!
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amother
Cognac
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Sun, Mar 24 2024, 1:50 am
| Quote: | | Also how do you not have anyone to babysit? Where is your husband??? |
I’m all for not bringing kids to megillah reading if you know they can’t stay quiet. But to ask her where her husband is not ok… this struck a nerve. How judgmental can you be?
I was divorced and didn’t have a babysitter and couldn’t go to megillah reading one year because I had no one to babysit my baby. It happens. Don’t ask stupid questions if you’ve never been in someone else’s shoes. If she didn’t have a babysitter- she didn’t have a babysitter. People are self absorbed on purim with their own families and no one knows who has a babysitter and some people don’t have family and no husband and no seudah because no one invited them. True story. I’ve been there.
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amother
Mistyrose
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Sun, Mar 24 2024, 1:52 am
| amother Cognac wrote: | | Quote: | | Also how do you not have anyone to babysit? Where is your husband??? |
I’m all for not bringing kids to megillah reading if you know they can’t stay quiet. But to ask her where her husband is not ok… this struck a nerve. How judgmental can you be?
I was divorced and didn’t have a babysitter and couldn’t go to megillah reading one year because I had no one to babysit my baby. It happens. Don’t ask stupid questions if you’ve never been in someone else’s shoes. If she didn’t have a babysitter- she didn’t have a babysitter. People are self absorbed on purim with their own families and no one knows who has a babysitter and some people don’t have family and no husband and no seudah because no one invited them. True story. I’ve been there. |
Exactly.
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amother
Holly
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Sun, Mar 24 2024, 2:02 am
| amother Brickred wrote: | Where do you all live? Where I live I just saw a spreadsheet with many shuls having readings for multiple times, ones for kids and ones without kids.
Also how do you not have anyone to babysit? Where is your husband??? |
Seriously??? Ever heard of divorcees or widows?
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pause
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Sun, Mar 24 2024, 2:44 am
| teachkids wrote: | | Yes. But the Baal koreh reads Hebrew faster than I do so I don't have any hope of catching up. |
And it's only applicable if reading from a klaf, not from your handheld picture-adorned megillah booklet.
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amother
Mauve
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Sun, Mar 24 2024, 2:45 am
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Shul was full of kids tonight & was really quiet bh.
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amother
Cantaloupe
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Sun, Mar 24 2024, 3:15 am
It depends on so many things. But mostly on the kid.
Dh took my 4 yo son to shul for megila. I sent along a water bottle, chips and oodles (cuz it takes long to eat/ keeps kids occupied)
I showed my son that I emptied the chips bag into a zip lock baggy so it shouldn't make noise. I stressed that it's extra important to be quiet so everyone can do the mitzvah.
Dh said he didn't make a boo. At there listened. Shook the gragger at Haman and silently shared his treats with sons other boys.
One of my older kids still have trouble being quiet for more that 5 minutes. 
She's super sensory and gets overwhelmed and everything starts bothering her.....
Bh my neighbors 15 yo was leining for her. So we went over with the older kids. Dh stayed home with my son and the toddler.
I've had many years that dh has read the megila for me. Or my bil at mil for the woman of the family.
I agree that kid who can't keep quiet should be with a babysitter and not ruining it for everyone else.
But with a bit of planing and prep, kids as young as 3-4 can be quiet for megila.
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teachkids
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Sun, Mar 24 2024, 5:31 am
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I'll add- we start training our kids to be quiet in shul with shorter things that don't matter as much- my 4 year old goes for shabbos mincha or Mt"s maariv when it falls as I put the little ones to sleep, with just a book to look at, so I'm hoping that within another year or two she'll be ready to sit though megillah quietly without a whole bag of snacks.
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amother
Foxglove
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Sun, Mar 24 2024, 6:12 am
| pause wrote: | | And it's only applicable if reading from a klaf, not from your handheld picture-adorned megillah booklet. |
That's not true. The majority needs to he from a klaf but if you miss words you can read from anything, even a booklet witth pictures.
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amother
Mint
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Sun, Mar 24 2024, 6:47 am
| amother Acacia wrote: | What parts of your post do you think I didn’t read? The average seven year old and under, babies included, probably can’t sit still and quiet for Megillah. I’m happy it worked for you. If a shul has a reading that makes sense to bring the kids then yay. But obviously the OP was referring to situations in which that isn’t the case otherwise no one would be concerned about not hearing Megillah properly due to the kids and the whole thread would be a moot point.
Is it the irony because of the eleven year olds? They shouldn’t have been there either I guess but doesn’t mitigate the point about the babies. |
The part about it being a community's responsibility to make sure that there are megillah readings that children, the literal future of our people, can be at and that people can hear.
What upsets me is hearing people rant and rave about the kids when in reality the issue is the set up, not the kids. Our kids should be able to hear megillah AND the adults should be able to be yotzei megillah. A community that values children will ensure that both happen.
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amother
Seagreen
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Sun, Mar 24 2024, 7:04 am
| amother Mint wrote: | This thread makes me sad every year. A shul without children is a skeleton. Our kids anticipate Purim all year, they learn about it, they prepare for it, they deserve to be active participants in it. It's a communal responsibility to make sure there are megillah readings that can handle the noise of healthy, appropriately behaving children while still ensuring that everyone can do the mitzvah.
That said, my shul values children immensely and they are encouraged to be at megillah reading (with snacks and bottles and coloring sheets and fidget toys) and we have options for mothers who want to come alone after the kids are in bed. My kids who are all under 7 including a toddler and a baby behaved absolutely beautifully and were nearly silent while the little pod of ~11 year old girls were talking and making noise. It was fine, we all heard anyway. But I thought of this thread and the irony that if anyone were to need to hear megillah again, it wouldn't be because of the toddlers or preschoolers but because of the preteens old enough to be there. |
What the heck is wrong with you ?
When a Shul has a rule not to allow children to come due to the unpredictable nature of a child, it has nothing to do with said Shul valuing the kids. The Shul values HALACHA
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amother
Cappuccino
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Sun, Mar 24 2024, 7:14 am
| amother Mint wrote: | The part about it being a community's responsibility to make sure that there are megillah readings that children, the literal future of our people, can be at and that people can hear.
What upsets me is hearing people rant and rave about the kids when in reality the issue is the set up, not the kids. Our kids should be able to hear megillah AND the adults should be able to be yotzei megillah. A community that values children will ensure that both happen. |
So yes, a shul should have a seperate kid friendly megillah reading or kids program. But if yours doesn't, that doesn't give you the right to ruin everyone else's experience. Work on starting one for next year then. (Honestly, my community does a kids program at night, but it's too late to shlep my kids too)
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amother
Ruby
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Sun, Mar 24 2024, 7:32 am
| Genius wrote: | | Didn’t read the thread. But when you bring kids neither you nor anyone else in the room is fulfilling their obligations. It’s a thorny issue. |
Responding to this one bec its untrue.
Most kids arent that noisy.
Maybe it shld be on the shul to make sure the guy leaning is loud enough to be heard over some wrappers crinkling or the occasion whisper. You can whisper the words to yourself along if you still think you didn't hear.
Funny enough, the men reading has all the rowdy boys doing purim shtick by Haman & I never ever heard my husband worry once that he missed a word.
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