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-> Chinuch, Education & Schooling
-> Seminary Info
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amother
Ultramarine
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 Thu, Mar 09 2023, 7:02 pm
| amother Peachpuff wrote: | About rinas seminary this year
There are a lot of messages talking about halacha,lashing hara,permission to talk about what happened
I want to know what really happened because I was thinking about sending my dd this year |
Messages where? Girls who're there are told all that - halacha of lashon hara, permission to talk about what happened?
You're thinking of sending your daughter next school year, not this?
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amother
Peachpuff
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Thu, Mar 09 2023, 7:07 pm
I'm thinking about sending my dd
But I read here at imamother comments at this type saying that are things that must be said...
And I want to know what are this things
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amother
Burntblack
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Thu, Mar 09 2023, 7:27 pm
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I heard that some girls are emotionally abused by the principal. I would not send my daughter there.
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amother
Pink
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Thu, Mar 09 2023, 7:33 pm
| amother Burntblack wrote: | | I heard that some girls are emotionally abused by the principal. I would not send my daughter there. |
I heard the same
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amother
Peachpuff
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Fri, Mar 10 2023, 9:59 am
What do you mean about emossionaly abuse?
Can you give me an example?
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amother
Burntblack
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Fri, Mar 10 2023, 11:39 am
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Emotional abuse is hard to explain.
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amother
Ultramarine
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Fri, Mar 10 2023, 11:51 am
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So scary! How is this place still open??
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amother
Pink
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Fri, Mar 10 2023, 11:54 am
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amother
Pink
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Fri, Mar 10 2023, 12:10 pm
| amother Burntblack wrote: | Emotional abuse is hard to explain.
She draws girls close to her. Especially vulnerable ones. And she breaks them emotionally.
She grooms them by giving huge compliments and ego boosts and giving tons of individual attention.
The girl becomes transfixed. And a little high on themselves.
Then she highlights certain vulnerabilities that make the person question themselves entirely.
When that girl is in that vulnerable state she becomes the pillar of strength for them. And she starts taking the power to raise them or confuse them.
She also makes them doubt their family and friends by pointing out negative things about this one or that one.
The person loses a sense of reality and starts to feel crazy. Whereby she could help them with that too.
At this point the girl becomes dependent on the principal for every breath they take because they can no longer manage on their own.
It takes awhile to recover from this type of abuse. |
yes all true unfortunately
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amother
Dimgray
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Fri, Mar 10 2023, 12:13 pm
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Last edited by amother on Sun, Aug 20 2023, 9:25 am; edited 3 times in total
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amother
Burntblack
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Fri, Mar 10 2023, 12:40 pm
If it was just emotional immaturity it wouldn’t express itself as a need to take people over like that. It would just be an innocent teacher expressing immature views which is not ideal but also not terrible.
Having a need to be like a cult leader speaks more of a personality disorder which is more serious.
People like this crave the power of dominance and enjoy removing the power of others. They are experts at diminishing and taking apart personalities. It’s an emotional way to kill others and take over. Like cyber war is a different form of war than fighting on a battle ground.
In your case you had enough emotional health or distance from her that she only managed to remove an arm so to say and later you took it back. But others that get completely taken over experience it as a real loss of self. Which takes longer to recover.
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amother
Dimgray
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Fri, Mar 10 2023, 12:47 pm
.
Last edited by amother on Sun, Aug 20 2023, 9:25 am; edited 2 times in total
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amother
Burntblack
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Fri, Mar 10 2023, 1:57 pm
I personally believe that most people are not malicious. And paradoxically we can all act malicious.
If we do something bad it’s a ruach shtus that enters us. Our essence is Godly and pure. Meaning doing something bad is never our truest desire. It’s a coping mechanism, dependency, addiction or moment of weakness.
And yes I agree with you. I would NOT send my daughter there.
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amother
Honeysuckle
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Fri, Mar 10 2023, 2:08 pm
I want to add my experience as a Rinas alumni.
I do think it got worse since I was there but I remember Mrs Friedman making me feel extremely uncomfortable telling me about other girls personal lives. She would talk about meetings she had with girls parents, talk about girls parents divorce and girls issues in general. It felt good that she confided in me and liked me but I also hated to hear about private things that weren’t my business. I didn’t feel like I could tell her it’s making me uncomfortable. She knew enough about me that I didn’t want her to repeat to others so I just listened. (Looking back I regret that AND she probably did share about me to others anyway) She also called me over one day to tell me I don’t need to be friends with my friend, I don’t need to take care of her just because she’s struggling. I told her I’m friends because I like her but she just laughed and said I know, you’re being nice but you don’t need to. It really confused me. Im still friends with this friend btw. She’s the most authentic, caring emotionally mature woman I know.
I think she was afraid I was going to realize who she is so she showered me with compliments, made me feel mature beyond my years so that I like her. And it worked.
We (girls) would joke that she has a personality disorder but only once I left did I realize that she probably really does have one which is sad. Like themother said, I don’t think she’s intentionally doing any of this but that doesn’t change the facts.
There are definitely some girls that still like her (a lottt), keep up with her, call to wish good shabbos every week etc. I don’t know if they are still stuck in that place or there’s something I’m missing.
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amother
Lightblue
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Sat, Mar 11 2023, 12:51 pm
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I know the principal for years and don't believe a word I'm reading here. She's the nicest and most special women I've ever met.
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amother
Bellflower
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Sat, Mar 11 2023, 4:59 pm
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amother
Dimgray
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Sat, Mar 11 2023, 5:03 pm
| amother Honeysuckle wrote: | I want to add my experience as a Rinas alumni.
I do think it got worse since I was there but I remember Mrs Friedman making me feel extremely uncomfortable telling me about other girls personal lives. She would talk about meetings she had with girls parents, talk about girls parents divorce and girls issues in general. It felt good that she confided in me and liked me but I also hated to hear about private things that weren’t my business. I didn’t feel like I could tell her it’s making me uncomfortable. She knew enough about me that I didn’t want her to repeat to others so I just listened. (Looking back I regret that AND she probably did share about me to others anyway) She also called me over one day to tell me I don’t need to be friends with my friend, I don’t need to take care of her just because she’s struggling. I told her I’m friends because I like her but she just laughed and said I know, you’re being nice but you don’t need to. It really confused me. Im still friends with this friend btw. She’s the most authentic, caring emotionally mature woman I know.
I think she was afraid I was going to realize who she is so she showered me with compliments, made me feel mature beyond my years so that I like her. And it worked.
We (girls) would joke that she has a personality disorder but only once I left did I realize that she probably really does have one which is sad. Like themother said, I don’t think she’s intentionally doing any of this but that doesn’t change the facts.
There are definitely some girls that still like her (a lottt), keep up with her, call to wish good shabbos every week etc. I don’t know if they are still stuck in that place or there’s something I’m missing. |
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Last edited by amother on Sun, Aug 20 2023, 9:24 am; edited 1 time in total
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amother
Dimgray
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Sat, Mar 11 2023, 5:05 pm
| amother Lightblue wrote: | | I know the principal for years and don't believe a word I'm reading here. She's the nicest and most special women I've ever met. |
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Last edited by amother on Sun, Aug 20 2023, 9:24 am; edited 1 time in total
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amother
Pink
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Sat, Mar 11 2023, 5:18 pm
| amother Honeysuckle wrote: | I want to add my experience as a Rinas alumni.
I do think it got worse since I was there but I remember Mrs Friedman making me feel extremely uncomfortable telling me about other girls personal lives. She would talk about meetings she had with girls parents, talk about girls parents divorce and girls issues in general. It felt good that she confided in me and liked me but I also hated to hear about private things that weren’t my business. I didn’t feel like I could tell her it’s making me uncomfortable. She knew enough about me that I didn’t want her to repeat to others so I just listened. (Looking back I regret that AND she probably did share about me to others anyway) She also called me over one day to tell me I don’t need to be friends with my friend, I don’t need to take care of her just because she’s struggling. I told her I’m friends because I like her but she just laughed and said I know, you’re being nice but you don’t need to. It really confused me. Im still friends with this friend btw. She’s the most authentic, caring emotionally mature woman I know.
I think she was afraid I was going to realize who she is so she showered me with compliments, made me feel mature beyond my years so that I like her. And it worked.
We (girls) would joke that she has a personality disorder but only once I left did I realize that she probably really does have one which is sad. Like themother said, I don’t think she’s intentionally doing any of this but that doesn’t change the facts.
There are definitely some girls that still like her (a lottt), keep up with her, call to wish good shabbos every week etc. I don’t know if they are still stuck in that place or there’s something I’m missing. |
Deleted/
Last edited by amother on Sat, Jun 17 2023, 6:42 pm; edited 1 time in total
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amother
Thistle
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Sat, Mar 11 2023, 5:54 pm
This is the first I’m hearing about this and my daughter is there coming home shortly for pesach. My daughter is very happy, doing great and doesn’t have a real relationship with principal but says she’s nice.
For those who have attended rinas, do you think I need to discuss this on sone level with my daughter and/or try to dig deep with my daughter to check in if she’s been experiencing the confusion sone of you have experienced? Or can I assume that if my daughter is happy and seems well when she comes home, this may not have touched her?
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