Ice Cream Truck and balance

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Forum -> Parenting our children

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amother

Powderblue

Thu, Apr 20 2023, 3:42 pm

amother Floralwhite wrote:

My kids get $5 a month as allowance. I live on a block with a lot of kids, and a lot of stands in the summertime. They usually use their own money to purchase from the stands, but they do also ask permission first. Ages 7-11. For my preschooler I’ll sometimes give some money.

$5 a month?? Where I live, a cone is $5. My kids usually get from the truck on erev shabbos but I'm fine with getting other times as well. I don't like to make a big deal about food and treats within reason- and as a result they don't go crazy for treats...they enjoy these things but don't get too worked up if I say not today or whatever. I try to say sure let's get whenever possible. You're only a kid once. Also, though we have a freezerful of relatively healthy ices (no food coloring/corn syrup), I don't buy or keep much junk or candy in the house so I'm not too worried about the sugar.

keym

Thu, Apr 20 2023, 3:47 pm

amother Powderblue wrote:

I'm less worried about the sugar.
I'm worried about the cost.

I've come to a compromise ice cream from the truck every 3rd week, but we write it on the calendar so we don't forget. Plus a monthly allowance of $5 ($1.25 a week) for sales and carnivals.
Of course I got the foot-stomping, you're the meanest mother.
I'm trying to get a feel of if I'm being unreasonable even if I really don't have the free cash to just spend or if I'm being reasonable enough.

amother

Powderblue

Thu, Apr 20 2023, 3:51 pm

keym wrote:

Look, if you can't spend on it then you can't spend on it. But honestly, every 3rd week is a bit unreasonable for buying ice cream from the truck...

amother

Stone

Thu, Apr 20 2023, 3:52 pm

Cost is the factor here too. I did every other week for the ice cream truck last year. I hate the sales. My kids are never included unless they are needed as customers. This year I am saying no. Let those mothers figure out another way to entertain their kids that doesn't involve my wallet.

amother

Mocha

Thu, Apr 20 2023, 4:28 pm

yes, it's really tough and I'd love a solution. I like the idea of an allowance but I have a handful of kids and I don't think I need to give $5 to each kid each week. we both work so hard and provide plenty for our kids. besides that I think this spoiling is terribly unhealthy.

the truck comes around every day and the kids run after it for blocks with wads of cash in their hands. it's ridiculous. and the peer pressure is intense. I feel really bad even though I do treat them once in a while, it's far less than the almost daily occurrence in my area.

amother

Floralwhite

Thu, Apr 20 2023, 7:17 pm

amother Powderblue wrote:

I live OOT - we don’t have a kosher ice cream truck coming around. They’ll use their money to buy something from a neighbor’s stand for $.50 or $1.

My kids will also sometimes get money for other things and save it. And we definitely buy treats some times so my kids are not deprived of ice cream or anything. But their allowance is perfect for those small things they desperately want.

amother

Jean

Thu, Apr 20 2023, 7:48 pm

amother Powderblue wrote:

Look, if you can't spend on it then you can't spend on it. But honestly, every 3rd week is a bit unreasonable for buying ice cream from the truck...

I don't think it's unreasonable. It depends what you're used to.

amother

Navyblue

Thu, Apr 20 2023, 8:01 pm

I live in Lakewood in a pretty wealthy area and I don’t think once every 3 weeks is unreasonable

Personally I do it on Rosh Chodesh or around Rosh Chodesh as well as a couple Fridays.

Not every week at all.

But my kids are still young - 9 and under

amother

Hyacinth

Thu, Apr 20 2023, 8:06 pm

My nearby neighbors are just as cheap as I am! So the ice cream truck isn’t really a thing. It will stop right across the street and there will be a big crowd, but it’s not anyone they’re close with so they aren’t especially interested.

As for carnivals, we have very few that are right near me and if it’s even one block over they aren’t interested.

My kids are shy, and that helps with not wanting to run to these things.

Honestly I feel like the ice cream truck is the kiddie version of takeout, and kids who are obsessed with the truck are likely to become teens that are obsessed with the eateries.

keym

Thu, Apr 20 2023, 8:08 pm

amother Navyblue wrote:

Thank you for weighing in.
I live in Lakewood also, and I'm talking about under 10 kids.

I do buy from the store or keep in my freezer for other times. Every 3 weeks is special from the ice cream truck.

amother

Steelblue

Thu, Apr 20 2023, 8:10 pm

keym wrote:

How often does it come and how often is it actually realistic for them to get (not after bedtime, not when they’re fleishig from dinner, not when they just had ice cream in day camp)?

tichellady

Thu, Apr 20 2023, 9:06 pm

keym wrote:

sounds reasonable to me

pizza4

Thu, Apr 20 2023, 11:33 pm

This used to annoy me very much. Especially because the ice cream truck stops right in front of my house! I guess it's a convenient mid-block stop. A few years ago I caved and bought, and the ice cream would make a mess dripping everywhere and the cost was insane. So I said forget it. I'm buying ice cream and we will decide when it's good for us to have ice cream, not the truck or the neighbors! So in ice cream truck season, my kids get more often- from our freezer.
As for the little sales- where I live they're generally either free or very minimal amount, and I keep a cup of small change for little tzedaka collectors so I'm happy for them to take some change for a cup of popcorn or whatever.
Also, I have a kid off dairy, and I don't think they bring parve options so it's definitely not happening. There's already so much they miss out on.
I make a point of taking them out for ice cream here and there when I can.

You sound very reasonable to me! Main thing is to decide what works together and keep to that, that way you're not caught off guard and end up giving in to kvetching!!

amother

Fern

Fri, Apr 21 2023, 12:54 am

watergirl wrote:

I tried telling my kids that it only plays the song when it's out of ice cream. They laughed at me.

Lol except it sings “come and make a bracha loud and clear” 😆

amother

Fern

Fri, Apr 21 2023, 12:56 am

My pet peeve is when the kids make sales of all their half broken prizes and my kids feel the need to buy stuff.

My kids have small change from chanuka/purim gelt and they sometimes gut without permission. Gets me annoyed.

Just cuz someone decided to sell something doesn’t mean we need to buy it!!

(Oh and then they pull the “but it’s for tzadaka” thing and make me feel guilty when I tell them no they should not go buy freeze pops we have plenty in our freezer. Sometimes I cave and sometimes not.)

amother

Babypink

Fri, Apr 21 2023, 9:40 am

amother Powderblue wrote:

Look, if you can't spend on it then you can't spend on it. But honestly, every 3rd week is a bit unreasonable for buying ice cream from the truck...

Every 3rd week is unreasonable?? Oh my, I guess I'm a neglectful parent.....

Amelia Bedelia

Fri, Apr 21 2023, 9:57 am

amother Babypink wrote:

Every 3rd week is unreasonable?? Oh my, I guess I'm a neglectful parent.....

Lol.
I think more than once a week is overboard. Once a week is generous. Once in 3-4 weeks is fair. Of course, along with other treats, such us regular ice cream/ices from home freezer.

amother

Orange

Sun, Apr 23 2023, 2:17 pm

We do 2x a summer.
(The prices here are ridiculous! Its around $10. A cone. The tiny ones are around $7. Add sprinkles and its another $1. Look the other way or take a second to decide and he ups the price. No kidding.
Only one company agreed to come here cuz they don't have enough to full up a minimum so he charges more. Often the ice cream isn't solid enough and is very drippy or he'll charge you a random price.... one time I was charged $27 for 3 little cones. Then my neighbor who buttered him up a bit he charged $45 for 10 items. No kidding. Its a disaster)

Also, one kid is dairy intolerant. She doesn't want to get slush. She wants to have the cone, get messy and lick the drips like everyone else. And she should have that expirence! She's 8 and at this point I let her make these decisions. So she has the dairy ice cream then suffers for the next 24 hours w bad tummy aches and I get to work extra on my middos to be compassionate, kind and gentle and not snap at her overrated tantrums. 🤔
Painkillers only help so much.
On hot summer sundays we often play ice cream parlors, I get dairy and parve ice cream, everyone gets a cone and we spread out all kinds of toppings in little cups, edible confetti, colorful spinkles chocolate sprinkles tiny mini chocolate chips, single color sprinkles colorful chocolate chips, crushed fruity pebbles..... chocolate syrups and strawberry syrups.... I try to make it look as fancy as possible.
The dollar store sells a lot of accessories that can be reused. And the kids get to make their own fancy ice cream sundea. Or cones dipped in toppings.
Sometimes I'll make pancakes and that will be lunch.
Sometimes I'll invite my sister and she'll bring the ice cream I'll supply the rest.
This year I got a large waffle maker for this purpose.
My kids absolutely love it!
For little children this is what childhood fun is all about. Don't take it away from them. Heck, I enjoy it probably as much as they do or even more. Its so fun seeing your kids lick away and giggle with their siblings experimenting different combination. I get to enjoy the taste and enjoy the nachas.

The ice cream truck rolls around here every other week or so. But my kids bh aren't desperate to have becuase I make the ice cream at home so fun they are content bh.

Carnivals are a whole nuther story. There are 2 families that are always trying to outdo each other with bigger and crazier junk food. It's disgusting. I feel mean, but I know it's really not good for them. I try to stall and only go towards the end. I give them an allowance and then we all leave together.
Other mini carnivals I let them go themselves w their allowance. But not more than. There are carnivals usually weekly or biweekly around here.

My suggestion, make it a family event. Make it fun. Make it better than the truck! You don't have to give that many options. Just 2-3 types of toppings. Cups and cones. Maybe chocolate syrup. Make some packages or waffles and use nice dishes/spoons invest in some reusable ones at the dollar store or cheap on Amazon. Make it a game night or whatever. Have fun together. He'll still want the ice cream but he won't feel deprived if he only has it 50% or less of the time vs his friends who have it 70% of the time....

amother

Steelblue

Sun, Apr 23 2023, 3:08 pm

amother Orange wrote:

Did you ever try a digestive enzyme to help digest the dairy? A good one can make a big difference.

amother

Heather

Sun, Apr 23 2023, 3:33 pm

amother Phlox wrote:

This doesn’t really compare or make it better. We don’t live in an area where my kids can see others going to the ice cream truck so I just always said we don’t buy from there and no one questioned it. But for a kids watching all the neighbors line up it can be really difficult for them to feel different.

That logic means nothin to me. Others always have more. We went x for pesach but the others went to y. I have x outfits for shabbos but others have y. We teach this from a young age. Some have more some have less. I’ve cream is the least of it. The number of ‘things’
That my kids don’t have (that some others may) is just as long as the list of what they have that others don’t

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