If you serve only challah, dips, and cholent for lunch

amother

Poinsettia

Mon, May 08 2023, 7:48 am

Hilariously. If we don’t have guests for shabbos. We always have just challah dips and Cholent (sometimes the Cholent is chicken and rice.)

And if anyone ever invites themselves to me on those shabbosim I tell them the menu. Im like this is if it. I am off this week. (I’ll usually boil some eggs for egg salad too)

But… if I have guests

I have challah and dips. (Lots of dips on the table the whole meal)

I have tons of salads. Different types. Some with protein, some with a grain or a starch. Often have wraps for the kids, I always have something in the crockpot. Either Cholent, or ribs or pulled beef or chicken and rice. Something.
Sometimes I do meat boards. With schnitzel and London broil and cold cuts and sauces
And of course I have lots of dessert.
Fruit, candy, dried fruit, nuts, cake, cookies. Some sorbet or pareve ice cream.

I always do a whole dessert buffet on boards.
(It looks super impressive but I freeze most of it from week to week.

And it’s weird. We were talking about how our family is properly full when it is just us and challah and dips and Cholent and suddenly when more people come we need like 35 more things.

Why???

NechaMom

Mon, May 08 2023, 7:49 am

amother Poinsettia wrote:

You don’t must go from 2 to 35.
There’s a happy medium. 6-10 would be over enough.

amother

Moonstone

Mon, May 08 2023, 8:05 am

Totally agree with OP. I’ve been as a guest a few times where there was just challah, dips, and then the chulent course which was in a bowl, which basically means everyone can take just a little. I left so hungry. I grew up eating three courses, fish and dips, egg, and chulent/deli roll, vegetables etc. And for those that said it’s just lunch, many ppl don’t eat breakfast shabbos morning so they are very hungry by the meal, like me.

amother

Mon, May 08 2023, 8:52 am

amother Moonstone wrote:

I posted this story under my username before so someone may remember me but it’s too weird of a story so I’ll tell it.

Once we were guests at a family for shabbos lunch who my husband was close to their husband, but I did not know the wife very well, and we had been guests there once or twice before and everything was great (and we had hosted them as well). I am known for a particular baked good, so when I asked what can I bring she asked me to bring that particular dessert. I walked in and handed it to her, and she exclaimed, “great! I’m having important guests next shabbos, this will help!” And she put it in her freezer.

She proceeded to tell me that since the shul had a kiddush that week, she made a very simple meal. Fine. Well since my family was going to be guests, I told my kids not to fill up because it’s rude to stuff yourself at kiddush when people cooked for you. I wish she had told me in advance that it would be a very simple meal. But to her simple meant small. Also fine! But tell the guests your plan and don’t assume everyone will consider kiddish to = lunch, especially if you are going to lunch after!

She served challah and cholent eggs. No cholent. Literally challah, eggs, done. Maybe something happened to the rest of the cholent and it was not able to be served.

amother

Natural

Mon, May 08 2023, 8:59 am

amother OP wrote:

Are you perhaps bad at reading the invitation map of when it is good or not good for people to have you?

DrMom

Mon, May 08 2023, 9:22 am

gold2 wrote:

I think it's the norm in certain communities especially in Israel or Middle eastern places which has now spilled over to many Jewish and even Ashkenazi communities worldwide that a lot of dips and salatim are served at the beginning of the meal.

This was traditionally done because people were poor and they couldn't afford to serve so much meat/chicken and fish to their guests so they filled them up on a lot of challah and dips which is much cheaper!

Now when I go to people I do keep this in mind. You can't fight the world and while to me it's more normal to serve regular food it's become more of a course as well

Why would anybody assume that the only reason to eat non-meat foods is because of poverty?

juggling

Mon, May 08 2023, 9:25 am

Why does everyone keep assuming OP invited herself to people. Is it normal in some communities to invite oneself for a meal? If we were talking about a single I'd understand, sometimes singles invite themselves because otherwise they'd be alone. But a whole family? I would only ever invite myself to my parents or sibling, and that only if there was some special reason we simply couldn't eat at home.

amother

Mon, May 08 2023, 9:30 am

juggling wrote:

Thank you!! I keep saying in this thread that I never invite myself and this is only something that I’ve experienced a few times. I’m not socially off at all. I don’t hint or beg for an invitation.

The only conclusion I can come to in this thread based on some of the reactions is that what I’m describing is so off, people are not taking me at face value and are assuming I’m leaving things out. Or people are reading this through their lens and thinking I’m off (ie dips = egg salad, liver, deli, and salatim so nothing wrong with that, I must be unreasonable!).

juggling

Mon, May 08 2023, 9:31 am

Something that occurred to me throughout this thread. In my world the first course is called an appetizer, and it's meant to be a small course, with a larger main course to come.

So even if there is a lot on the table for the first course, people from my world will take small portions assuming there is an even larger course coming after. If the course you serve next is smaller than the first course, and your guests come from a world like mine, your guests will probably not know to fill up at the first course.

amother

Peony

Mon, May 08 2023, 9:32 am

juggling wrote:

I think people are wondering how come she always has these stories happening to her.

Also, I'm wondering why she's posting about challah, dips and cholent if she's had worse stories with just challah and egg. Challah, dips and cholent sounds gourmet compared!

If she's still accepting invitations at this point, seems she needs to expect that wherever she lives, people are using to serving a paltry fare. So either accept it or eat at home.

amother

Mon, May 08 2023, 9:36 am

amother Peony wrote:

I shared the cholent egg story because it was esy beyond the scope of normal. I keep saying here, but I think people are ignoring me, this is happened to me only a handful of times. I’m in my 40s. That’s not a lot. A few times does not = “keep happening to me”.

And I’ll say it again, I am sharing this for all of the hostesses who are reading this in case it will help anybody if they need it.

NechaMom

Mon, May 08 2023, 9:53 am

amother Peony wrote:

They were only 2 stories.
That’s not a lot.
Both stories show something off with the hostess and not with OP. Just her bad luck two times.
The one who saved your dessert for the following week. Can't Believe It

What’s wrong with some people?

Ema of 5

Mon, May 08 2023, 9:56 am

amother Amber wrote:

I see. The issue was the quantity more than anything. In my circles most people serve plated portions in quantities you would expect to have leftovers. Of course it's socially off to not have sufficient quantities of food, the variety is a lesser issue.

How can you have leftovers of plates food? That means your eating food that other people are from.

amother

Vermilion

Mon, May 08 2023, 10:25 am

In Israel. If we're having guests, I usually do 2-3 dips, challah, some kinda fish (maybe salad). Then cholent, kugel, and another side - maybe veg, maybe deli rol.

If we're just us, I do challah, one dip, maybe fish, cholent and maybe kugel.

If we're inviting some bochurim or someone last minute, and I'm making the 'only us' menu, I just tell my husband he's welcome to tell them to come we'd love to have them, but I'm only serving cholent. Just so that if it's a problem, they can be aware. I think that's reasonable.