PSA-don’t host guests.

amother

Emerald

Tue, May 09 2023, 5:07 pm

amother Plum wrote:

I think it's actually really rude to make a comment like that at the actual table, quietly done or not. That's way more socially off to me than serving just one more variety. That's the kind of thing the actual child, not in law child, might bring up respectfully and carefully at a different time, NOT in front of the whole extended family. That's not hilarious, that's rude. Also, poor role modeling for his kids.

No argument there. That’s why no one had ever said anything before. He didn’t have kids yet though. His new wife was definitely uncomfortable but it erupted in a funny way and although no one else would have done it, things have improved drastically and they are very happily married bH.

amother

DarkGreen

Tue, May 09 2023, 5:12 pm

amother Magnolia wrote:

I would actually be pretty horried if a words unspoken column was about lack of variety as a guest. They would never print about something so petty.

Yes, so would I. I didn’t mean a literal printed article in mishpacha. People title posts on this site like that all the time. Literally it just means “something I want to tell someone but cannot tell them face-to-face, so I am posting it here”.

Anytime you see a PSA, imagine it is a words unspoken (again, I printed in a magazine, but in the context of what I just said). That was what I was trying to get across.

amother

Magnolia

Tue, May 09 2023, 5:15 pm

amother DarkGreen wrote:

Then clearly you are not the kind of host I’m referring to.
Someone (not me) said it’s socially off to serve literally ONLY challah, chummus, red pepper dip, and cholent.

You said, well then, I’m socially off… but I serve deli also.

Then that’s not you. And I’m willing to bet you put more out with your challah other than the deli.

No I replied to someone (see copied again below) who said she doesn't care what you serve for first course, if the second course is only cholent then that's socially off.

amother Emerald wrote:

Forget about the first course. Just cholent with nothing else for a table full of people is socially off.

Read the post people are responding to before replying.

amother

Emerald

Tue, May 09 2023, 5:16 pm

amother Magnolia wrote:

No I replied to someone who said she doesn't care what you serve for first course, if the second course is only cholent then that's socially off.

Read the post people are responding to before replying.

And I stand by it. Not everyone likes cholent. Why is it so hard for people to comprehend that?

amother

Plum

Tue, May 09 2023, 5:20 pm

amother Emerald wrote:

That doesn't make it ok.
Newly married or not, that is beyond mortifying for the wife and definitely socially off, way more than someone who serves minimal food.
Honestly, that's the kind of the thing a guidance counselor that I know, focuses on in her social skills group for little kids. Not blurting out rude things to others, especially in public. Whether it's about the food served by your host or just something that you should know better than to say in public.

amother

Emerald

Tue, May 09 2023, 5:27 pm

amother Plum wrote:

Again, I was agreeing with you. I did not defend the son in law. It bH didn’t cause any long-term damage and it did have its positive consequences as well. The agree that doesn’t make it ok. I was relaying a story that happened.