She won't be traumatized, right? UPDATE

amother

Jetblack

Thu, Jul 06 2023, 9:46 pm

Not sure what you were trying to gain posting this on here
I’m sure you knew you would be getting a lot of mixed responses
It’s like opening a can of worms
Do what you think makes sense and that’s it
If you’re comfortable with it - then go for it
Asking other people’s opinions on how you parent is never going to give you the answer you looking for
I personally went away and left my baby and it was totally fine
My kid had A great time at my mother and it was all good
You are allowed to take a break and enjoy your vacation
Sometimes that’s what you need to be a better more patient mother

amother

Thu, Jul 06 2023, 9:48 pm

amother Jetblack wrote:

Not sure what you were trying to gain posting this on here
I’m sure you knew you would be getting a lot of mixed responses

I'm newish to imamother so no I did not. Although like the third or fourth poster warned me what I was in for.

amother

Goldenrod

Thu, Jul 06 2023, 9:49 pm

amother OP wrote:

They did 6 months ago when she was a newborn!

So nice of them! I would’ve loved a week of tons of sleep when my baby was that age (or any age) lol

hello3

Thu, Jul 06 2023, 9:51 pm

tichellady wrote:

then why did Hashem make so many mothers die in childbirth? an infant can be raised by another woman. in fact, mothers and sisters and grandmothers used to all be very involved in raising children together. it wasn't just up to the mom

What does that even mean? You believe a mother is replaceable? Maybe physically anyone can care for a child, but a mothers love and emotional connection is just not the same.

amother

Almond

Thu, Jul 06 2023, 9:52 pm

amother Oldlace wrote:

Again, perfect for who? Are you thinking about baby??

Even in closed adoptions where baby never meets biological mother and is handed immediately after birth to an amazing adoptive mother, the baby suffers trauma from the abandonment. This is a lot worse.

Uh, for real?! A biological mother who will iy"h nurture the child for the rest of her childhood, leaving her with grandparents for a week, is worse than a baby given up for adoption??? How can you even compare the 2? I'm flabbergasted.

amother

Bellflower

Thu, Jul 06 2023, 9:56 pm

amother Almond wrote:

The adoptive parents will also iyh nurture the child for the rest of her childhood.

I’m not sure why you’re phrasing it as “baby being given up for adoption” because that phrasing is very judgmental and babies are adopted for all sorts of reasons. But if you’re so anti adoption then surely you can see the issue in leaving a baby for a week for your own enjoyment.

amother

Amaranthus

Thu, Jul 06 2023, 10:01 pm

#BestBubby wrote:

Are all you "baby will be traumatized" posters
Stay at home mothers?

Because sending babies daily to group babysitting
Is likely waaaaaay more harmful than a week vacay.

I am a SAHM. But sending babies to a daily sitter, where baby is familiar with the sitter & routine that they'll be picked up after a few hours, cannot be compared to just leaving the baby for a week. It's not comparable.
OP also said that her baby just started with a new sitter. I don't think it's fair to the child to experience 2 such major changes so close together.

gootlfriends

Thu, Jul 06 2023, 10:02 pm

Those who are comparing it to abandonment are over reacting. You won't do it, fine. Stop acting like she is putting the baby on the street or dropping it off at some stranger. As long as the baby has spent some time recently with caretaker and gets adequate care, this is not abandonment. Ideal, maybe not. But not abandonment.

amother

Thu, Jul 06 2023, 10:07 pm

We didn't get a new babysitter. We just let the old one go. Baby is with me all day now (until September).

amother

Hawthorn

Thu, Jul 06 2023, 10:18 pm

Why do you have to go away for a whole week? Can you take a shorter vacation? A week is a very long time for such a young baby.

amother

Latte

Thu, Jul 06 2023, 10:20 pm

amother OP wrote:

We didn't get a new babysitter. We just let the old one go. Baby is with me all day now (until September).

Can you take baby with you? This will be hard for her.

amother

Amaranthus

Thu, Jul 06 2023, 10:21 pm

gootlfriends wrote:

It is abandonment to leave a baby for a week. It doesn't matter where the baby is being left. Parents leaving the baby is abandoning the baby.

amother

Amaranthus

Thu, Jul 06 2023, 10:22 pm

amother OP wrote:

We didn't get a new babysitter. We just let the old one go. Baby is with me all day now (until September).

When is your trip? Is it possible for you to move in to your parents home for a while till the trip?

amother

Thu, Jul 06 2023, 10:25 pm

amother Amaranthus wrote:

When is your trip? Is it possible for you to move in to your parents home for a while till the trip?

That's probably what we will end up doing

WhatFor

Thu, Jul 06 2023, 10:30 pm

amother OP wrote:

We didn't get a new babysitter. We just let the old one go. Baby is with me all day now (until September).

Serious question: do you think you'll be relaxed and comfortable to be away from your baby for a full week when you're with them all day now? I'm not asking this in a judgemental way.

Leaving aside any opinion on how this could affect a baby because I don't think I'll say anything that hasn't already been said, I simply don't think this would be an enjoyable experience for me. I get that others may feel differently but I don't think my feelings would be unique. Have you thought this through and thought about how you might feel when it's day six and you already haven't seen your baby for five days? Does that sound relaxing to you?

amother

Khaki

Thu, Jul 06 2023, 10:41 pm

amother OP wrote:

In what way?

I left her for one night with my sister who she was very familiar with she cried the whole time and wouldn’t sleep. After that she didn’t go to anyone, cried when people looked at her, freaked out if I left her sight. She was not like that before. And she’s still like that now, won’t go to anyone at all I can’t even dream of leaving her with family even if she’s familiar with them and it’s been almost 2 years

amother

Hawthorn

Thu, Jul 06 2023, 10:52 pm

amother Mocha wrote:

Take the baby with you! We always did vacations with our babies.

This, a six month old on vacation is good company. I can't imagine taking a week away from a little baby just for vacation.

amother

Crimson

Thu, Jul 06 2023, 11:01 pm

Just because you can’t see the effects, doesn’t mean the baby wasn’t traumatized. It could be that in 20 years she’ll have a hard time with attachment or whatever. I’m not saying that will happen from this scenario but everyone saying that they did it and their kids are fine have no idea.
Your 6 month old is attached to you. You are pretty much all she knows. So yes, she will notice you’re not there and likely feel sad, confused and abandoned. Will there be long term trauma- who knows? Is it worth the pain you’d be causing your baby? I think not.
You chose to have this baby. She is helpless and reliant on you. Don’t leave her when she’s so young!
(I don’t leave my babies overnight until they’re 2. )