She won't be traumatized, right? UPDATE

amother

Amaranthus

Thu, Jul 06 2023, 8:22 pm

amother OP wrote:

We just let our babysitter go for the summer, and baby seemed OK with the change in caregivers. Our babysitter was not Jewish so I don't think I would send her there lol.

Honestly, I think a new sitter, plus you going away and leaving her behind, are just way too many changes at once and just not fair to do to a baby. A baby is not an item we get to throw around.

amother

Latte

Thu, Jul 06 2023, 8:23 pm

My parents left for for some vacations when I was a baby and I have attachment issues. It’s really unfair to the baby to do it unless it’s a true emergency.

amother

Amaranthus

Thu, Jul 06 2023, 8:24 pm

amother DarkGray wrote:

We did this with my oldest DD.
She knew my parents very well and their home was practically her second home.
I did cry the entire flight to our vacation, and I did miss her terribly, but it was 100% worth it and BH no ill effects on DD.

If she is comfortable at your parents house do not worry.

OP said that the baby is not very familiar with the grandparents and does not know their home.

amother

Bellflower

Thu, Jul 06 2023, 8:25 pm

amother Amaranthus wrote:

Honestly, I think a new sitter, plus you going away and leaving her behind, are just way too many changes at once and just not fair to do to a baby. A baby is not an item we get to throw around.

The ignorance regarding basic child development principles is mind blowing to me.

Don’t have kids until you’re done vacationing as a couple. Please.

amother

Almond

Thu, Jul 06 2023, 8:25 pm

Oh come on guys. I think those saying no are being a little dramatic. If the home is otherwise loving and healthy, leaving a 6 month old with grandparents for a short while won't affect the child long term.

I took a short vacation with dh and left my nursing 8 month old for a few days with plenty of breastmilk bottles and he was fine.
Unfortunately I had to leave him for 3 weeks with grandparents when he was a year old because I was diagnosed with cancer (I'm fine now).
He's now 13 and is my most flexible well adjusted child. We b"h have a secure loving home. There is no lasting trauma.

amother

Amaranthus

Thu, Jul 06 2023, 8:26 pm

amother OP wrote:

Yeah that's gonna be me!

Then why are you doing it? A vacation is not a must, not something you must do now just because you think you may not be able to do it for the next while. That's part of being an adult, a responsible parent.
Maybe take this time off to staycation locally the hours baby is at her sitter.

amother

Amaranthus

Thu, Jul 06 2023, 8:27 pm

amother Almond wrote:

It's not dramatic to think that leaving an infant with practical strangers in a home she's not familiar with, is not a good idea.

amother

Latte

Thu, Jul 06 2023, 8:27 pm

amother Almond wrote:

It’s not being dramatic. You can cause life long trauma. It’s a risk you are taking. Unless it’s urgent it’s not fair to put baby through this. I’m glad your baby was unaffected and that you are healed.

amother

Melon

Thu, Jul 06 2023, 8:28 pm

I left my 3 month old with my husbands parents for 3 days and 2 nights. She was totally fine.
You can call her on the phone so she can hear your vvoice or facetime

Genius

Thu, Jul 06 2023, 8:29 pm

amother Amaranthus wrote:

It's not dramatic to think that leaving an infant with practical strangers in a home she's not familiar with, is not a good idea.

It’s not a lachatchila, but there’s a long road from not being a good idea to being traumatic with everlasting backups

amother

Arcticblue

Thu, Jul 06 2023, 8:29 pm

If she has spent time with your parents a lot, she'll be fine. My dgd has had overnights with both sets of g-rents from the time she was practically a newborn. this is wonderful because she's never been fazed by sleepovers without her parents, even for a week at a time. It's a normal part of her life.

amother

Amaranthus

Thu, Jul 06 2023, 8:30 pm

amother Mintcream wrote:

It’s not abandonment.

How is it not abandonment to leave a helpless baby at an unfamiliar place?

amother

Latte

Thu, Jul 06 2023, 8:30 pm

amother Mintcream wrote:

It’s not abandonment.

It is abandonment albeit unintentionally. The baby has no sense of time and has no idea if her mother will return. You are causing trauma potentially. I personally am suffering from being the baby in a scenario described.

amother

Amaranthus

Thu, Jul 06 2023, 8:31 pm

Genius wrote:

It’s not a lachatchila, but there’s a long road from not being a good idea to being traumatic with everlasting backups

There's no way to know this for sure, which is why it's a risk not worth taking. We don't get to play around with our kids for our enjoyment.

amother

Charcoal

Thu, Jul 06 2023, 8:31 pm

My friend leaves her baby with her parents all the time. But they are always by her parents, almost daily, and her baby is 100% comfortable there its like his second home.

Doesnt sound like this is your case OP

Genius

Thu, Jul 06 2023, 8:33 pm

amother Amaranthus wrote:

There's no way to know this for sure, which is why it's a risk not worth taking. We don't get to play around with our kids for our enjoyment.

Not every vacation is הוללות. Sometimes it’s necessary for everyone involved.