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Forum -> Household Management -> Finances

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amother

Watermelon ↓

Tue, Sep 19 2023, 8:06 am

amother Snapdragon wrote:

I’m not so open about it. We’re paying our bills but struggling. I don’t know who to talk to- some people would just feel bad and why should I make them feel bad? Others would just not even validate because they don’t get it.

BH we are putting a modest amount away in savings for simchos and retirement. We could technically afford to lease luxury cars and wear designer clothes but instead we’re investing that money. So we live relatively simply.

I don't really understand the dichotomy. You're paying your bills but struggling, but you can also afford luxury cars and designer clothes. What does that mean exactly?

I think thay if you have to choose between savings and luxury items you can't really afford it.

amother

↑ Nemesia ↓

Tue, Sep 19 2023, 8:09 am

Generally the only people we really fool are ourselves.

amother

↑ Nemesia

Tue, Sep 19 2023, 8:12 am

amother Seablue wrote:

Social standing in the community

Friends for themselves

Friends for their kids

Good shidduchim

nope.
would say they gain a lot of stress and sleepless nights
shidduchim? no way because when it comes time to pay the piper the numbers and ability to do so sure do matter
also, reality check usually people do know the truth
like the money has got to be coming from somewhere

and what kind of friendships are these if they are based on a lie? or on some material standing fake or otherwise?
and I think a lot of that assumption is not true anywhere
there are unfortunately plenty of people who are wealthy and don't have great social standing, social life, friends for their kids etc...
wish everyone did whether wealthy or not

ultimately there are no secrets
not amongst people
and certainly never from Hashem

amother

↑ Watermelon

Tue, Sep 19 2023, 8:14 am

amother Blonde wrote:

Different people have different priorities and different needs and you can’t know why someone may feel something is a need that you feel is lavish spending. The Tesla mentioned above is a perfect example. I wonder if you all realize how judgmental you sound.

I don't think there's any judgement about how people prioritize their spending. It's about buying things you can't afford to keep up the appearance that you have more money than you actually do. Prioritizing this vs that doesn't make a difference if you can afford neither this nor that.

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