How are your challenging children now as older teens/adult?

amother

Tue, Sep 19 2023, 6:19 pm

To mums out there that posted here years ago about their extremely difficult children, with severe behavioral problems in school and at home how are they now? Did they grow into lovely adults? At what point did they improve? Do they have great relationships now?
I'm worried about my 6 year old, I'm doing my best to help him now but how do I make sure he will be ok when he's older

amother

Begonia

Wed, Sep 20 2023, 5:48 am

my now 23 is doing amazing
way beyond my expectations

but I'm struggling with younger ones and I hope I can get the same neis again

I'm doing whatever I can to help them but you never which part of the hishtadlus helped!

amother

Salmon

Wed, Sep 20 2023, 6:06 am

My 29 year old has straightened out a lot and mostly keeps his temper under control. There are things I don't like about his personality but....

My 25 year has a developmental disability but to the casual onlooker appears totally normal. She makes a lot of bad decisions and is not doing well.

amother

NeonBlue

Wed, Sep 20 2023, 6:14 am

My 18 yr old had one foot on the street, was extremely aggressive, was kicked out of school more times than I can remember and is bH doing much better, studying hard, working on his middos, much calmer and even notices when I need help.

amother

Teal

Wed, Sep 20 2023, 6:47 am

My 15 year old was impossible as a toddler, preschooler, and younger elementary schooler. We got him a diagnosis and medication in second grade, and the rest of elementary school was very touch-and-go, but not as awful as the period beforehand. Middle school was relatively easy, with some crises that came and went. He is now in high school (10th grade) and has been thriving. He's a leader among his peers (I could never see that strength when he was younger and had no friends and alienated everyone else), confident, and sincere. I thank Hashem every day for the turnaround.

amother

Pear

Wed, Sep 20 2023, 10:59 am

My child was kicked out of school in 9th grade. We switched him to a school more suited for him and he did well. He went on to serve in the IDF (we live in Israel) and while he didn't win any awards for outstanding soldier, he did well and his behavior improved. He agreed to go to therapy after he got out and BH he's doing better, behavior-wise. Not perfect, but better.

amother

Latte

Wed, Sep 20 2023, 11:02 am

My son is 24 is doing really well. He’s married to a wonan who he loves and we love to. He actually works in my husband’s business and it’s such a hard worker and I’m really really proud of him. I’m still having a lot of challenges with younger kids so this gives me hope never to give up and always to keep giving to my kids will never stop loving them. If she told me that he has a close relationship with us the most of his friends. And I think it’s because we were always there for him, and just never give up believing in him

amother

Moonstone

Wed, Sep 20 2023, 11:07 am

My daughter has ADD (the inattentive type). She was a challenging toddler/young child (tantrums to the roof, messes all over the place, ultra sensitive and moody, very controlling and demanding, struggled socially.)
At 15, she has settled down in many areas. A few years ago she became much neater and more organized very suddenly (someone told me that there's a developmental jump in the tweens/early-teens that may have jump-started her executive processing abilities and contributed to this). She's still somewhat sensitive, but she's doing well socially in high school. Though she's very bright, she still struggles academically due to focusing issues, but she passes her subjects, does better in the ones that interest her. She still has some challenges in executive functioning, but I see growth happening all the time. She has also become much more reasonable and less moody/angry. Overall she's a pretty normal teen with some struggles/challenges in some areas.