Dressing kids in style how important?

SusanB

Fri, Sep 22 2023, 5:01 am

As a very experienced buyer of AliExpress, it's the perfect solution. Beautiful, stylish, and cheap. I find products of great quality! My daughters and I have been wearing Ali for the past few seasons, and I'm very happy with my finds!
You can PM me if you are looking for specific products. Regarding Uggs, I can find you replicas for less than $50.
There's nothing wrong with Old Navy, but if you prefer the look of Ali things- go for it!

amother

Fri, Sep 22 2023, 5:11 am

amother Bottlebrush wrote:

OP, I think you need a Rebbetzin, not a Rabbi for this kind of question.
My kids aren't there yet(still young), and we live in a VERY out-of-the-way community anyway, but I know that my husband grew up with hand-me-downs and although we buy a LOT of second-hand clothing for all of us (in beautiful condition), we think it's very important to buy our kids something brand new once in a while- usually for RH/Pesach.
I don't think teenage girls' needs should be laughed at. I also don't think people should go into debt for them.
I do think you should be having down-to-earth discussions with your daughter about brands and the like. It can be a once-in-a-while buy- if you can afford it. It's good for her to see you care. It makes her feel good. But her self-image should not be dependent on these things. Tachlis, it's complicated Wink

I do think a wise woman figure may be the right address. You don't need a dry halachic answer. You need a wise woman who understands what a teenage girl is going through as well as your financial constraints.

Thanks but I don't know anyone

amother

Fri, Sep 22 2023, 5:12 am

SusanB wrote:

I wouldn't call it cheap.
But it's not expensive either. Just midline.

amother

Ebony

Fri, Sep 22 2023, 5:14 am

OK - My husband is a Rav who answers Qs on the internet. He would certainly think a sheila like this is a little off (do not mean to berate Op just my opinion). Then he'd turn to me and ask "What are uggs" Then I'd say - No idea. This is true. I shop in Ariel, Israel -or a bit in Jlm.
Now I know- I looked them up. So u see this is very area-related. Ask a Rav who knows you if it really brings you trauma. Anyway BH my girls are not SO into name brands....

amother

Fri, Sep 22 2023, 5:17 am

amother Ebony wrote:

Glad I'm not asking your husband then. Hope he educates himself. And also telling someone their question is a little off as the wife of a Rav is very inappropriate. Please keep in mind how sensitive your roles are.
I dont live in Israel. Glad my Rav here answers all questions and doesn't think they're off.

emee2

Fri, Sep 22 2023, 5:26 am

I also live OOT and find the same pressure. I have 3 teenage girls and live on less than paycheck to paycheck. I do think it’s important for girls this age to feel good. I think discussing with a rav is a great idea, I’m surprised so many ppl find this strange. I’ve had plenty of conversations like this with my rav. Personally I buy my kids new clothes for every yontif and try to get them stylish things from Frum stores ( if I get nice hand me downs I use those too) For coats and boots I try to stick to the middle of the road. I do havé the Ali coats for my little ones and they are great and will for sure last. They are hands down better quality than old navy and more stylish. And as for all the Lakewood comments, depending on how far you live it may be worth a trip. I went into Lakewood in august to do my shopping for bzck to school and yontif and I live in the Midwest. It was definitely worth it.

emee2

Fri, Sep 22 2023, 5:27 am

SusanB wrote:

Can you find Uggs slippers for little kids?

amother

Fri, Sep 22 2023, 5:34 am

emee2 wrote:

Wonder if we live in the same place. Sure sounds like it!

SusanB

Fri, Sep 22 2023, 5:57 am

emee2 wrote:

Can you find Uggs slippers for little kids?

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amother

Blonde

Fri, Sep 22 2023, 6:04 am

Regardless of what everyone else has, what are the social dynamics around it? Would the kids be ostracized for dressing not in the right brands, or do the kids not really judge each other so much about it. I've been to both types of schools: in both everyone dressed in brands but me, but in one, it was a big problem, and not at all in the other.

amother

DarkMagenta

Fri, Sep 22 2023, 6:19 am

Good for you op
You sound like such a thoughtful mom
Listening to your kids and validating them
And looking for practical solutions that work for you all
Hugs and hatzlocha

emee2

Fri, Sep 22 2023, 7:34 am

amother OP wrote:

Wonder if we live in the same place. Sure sounds like it!

I live in Detroit, if you live in the Midwest I would be more than happy to pass along any handle downs from my teens. I don’t have a lot anymore because they aren’t really growing but they do get rid of things and my youngest is in size girls 16 or ladies xs. So feel free to reach out to me. I also go to Chicago and Milwaukee although my guess is you might be local to me! The pressure here is very real!!!

amother

Slateblue

Fri, Sep 22 2023, 7:37 am

amother Ebony wrote:

What part of this response was helpful to OP? If your husband was to find a question off I'm not sure he belongs being a rav. Just saying.

amother

Fri, Sep 22 2023, 7:40 am

emee2 wrote:

Actually a different Midwest community.

Another mom

Fri, Sep 22 2023, 7:43 am

[quote="amother OP"]Right so I'm not asking about the real ones.im not buying real. But should I give in and buy the fakes? Or buy from Old Navy for $20[/quote
We like Old Navy!

amother

Papayawhip

Fri, Sep 22 2023, 7:55 am

amother Slateblue wrote:

What part of this response was helpful to OP? If your husband was to find a question off I'm not sure he belongs being a rav. Just saying.

Many rabbanim answer questions about hashkafa and halacha, and might be surprised by a question about fashion.

amother

Mimosa

Fri, Sep 22 2023, 7:57 am

I'm really surprised by mothers' attitudes on this thread. What ever happened to teaching kids not to be so obsessive with gashmiyut? And that you DON'T need to cave to peer pressure and do things which aren't necessarily right to appease others? Don't go into debt, educate your kids, ladies!

And I find it hard to believe that the mothers of such kids don't care about brand names themselves. Model by example.

amother

Fri, Sep 22 2023, 8:41 am

[quote="amother Papayawhip"]Many rabbanim answer questions about hashkafa and halacha, and might be surprised by a question about fashion.[/quote
This is a hashkafa question- what's the right hashkafa to impart to my kids? How much is it important for them to fit in, vs teaching them that materialism isn't so important...

amother

Fri, Sep 22 2023, 8:43 am

[quote="Another mom"]

amother OP wrote:

Right so I'm not asking about the real ones.im not buying real. But should I give in and buy the fakes? Or buy from Old Navy for $20[/quote
We like Old Navy!

So do I and I buy lots there. But my girls are asking for a different coat and just trying to figure out what the correct balance is.