8 year old still wets bed. Invited to a slumber party WWYD?

amother

Tue, Sep 26 2023, 12:14 pm

Our 8 year old DD still wears pull-ups at night. She rarely wakes up dry. Her whole class is invited to a slumber party for a friend's birthday (brave mom!) and I'm not sure what to do. Do we keep her home entirely? Let her go to the before bed stuff and pick her up to sleep at home? Send her with a pull-up and instructions how to put it on and take it off discretely? Do I give the mom a heads up or would that embarrass DD even more? I don't want DD to miss out but I don't want her to be embarrassed.

amother

Broom ↓

Tue, Sep 26 2023, 12:16 pm

I would speak to the mom, so she can help her discreetly put them on and discard in the morning. Send pajamas that won't show the bulk. Maybe a bathrobe to wear when she's walking around.

amother

Forsythia

Tue, Sep 26 2023, 12:18 pm

I’d pick her up to sleep at home. I can’t imagine she’ll be the only one going home. Lots of kids that age struggle with sleeping away from home.

amother

Banana

Tue, Sep 26 2023, 12:23 pm

Embarrassed is worst. Telling the mother is also embarrassing and you don't know if it gets repeated or what they think. Let her go and ask the mother what time to pick her up, very late at night so she enjoys part of it. I would go so far to make an early appointment or visit the next morning so there is another reason you picked her up at night before sleeping.

justforfun87

Tue, Sep 26 2023, 12:34 pm

As a mom who hosts sleepover parties A LOT of course I would assist a child but to be honest I am afraid it may be the wrong mother who would tell her daughter and it could get out. What is the mom like? I really like the idea of a "sleep under" where you pick your daughter up before bedtime and make an excuse. What if your daughter can't find a garbage to dispose of the pull ups, I am afraid it will be just too much for an 8yr old to handle.

mha3484

Tue, Sep 26 2023, 12:42 pm

I agree 8 seems young for a sleepover to be honest. I don't think I started having them until at least 10. Id rather pick her up late at night. Shes still young enough that she likely wont care.

kiwi strawberry

Tue, Sep 26 2023, 1:06 pm

I agree a sleepover for this age is on the young side but why can’t she go and change into and out of it on her own? OP do you put it on her and take it off her every night and morning or does she do it? It’s not any different than changing your underwear. You do it in the bathroom. An 8 year old can do that. Almost every bathroom has a garbage. So just put it in the garbage and cover it with tissues. She can come already wearing it so only has to change out of it in the morning. When she goes to the bathroom in the morning after she wakes up to wash negel vasser/ brush her teeth/get dressed that’s when she’ll take it off and change into underwear.

And I disagree about being too young to care. If everyone else is going and sleeping over of course she’ll want to too. They’ll also all be talking about it the next day etc so she’ll know she missed out.

amother

Aquamarine

Tue, Sep 26 2023, 1:11 pm

My 8 year old has had to sleep over at a friends house out of necessity. We discussed the plan beforehand.
We sent along an opaque shopping bag and told him to put the pull up in there when he’s changing into his clothes in the morning, and throw it in the trash that way.
Pjs and pull up when in a small black bag as well and that’s how he took it into the bathroom to change into pajamas.
8 year olds can get themselves dressed. It’s not a big deal.

amother

Denim

Tue, Sep 26 2023, 1:16 pm

Can you discuss it with her and tell her what the options are? And find out what she would prefer? Pick-up before sleeping, or dealing with it there?

amother

Wandflower

Tue, Sep 26 2023, 1:29 pm

You mean the sleepover is tonight?
A pediatrician could prescribe medication for this, but don’t know if you’d be able to get it in time.

amother

Mint

Tue, Sep 26 2023, 1:33 pm

No - do not send. Pick her up because there are too many ways that the information will leak - no pun intended.

The closest analogy was when I got my period and I was younger than anyone I knew.

I was totally embarrassed by it and would not have wanted my peers to know.

I remember being so grateful for an aunt who came to my rescue when I was not participating in some activity and was put on the spot to explain.

amother

↑ Broom

Tue, Sep 26 2023, 1:37 pm

I think picking her up will call the most attention to it. And why should she miss out? Sending her in it is a good idea. About taking it off send a bag she can put it in and tie it up beige putting in the garbage.

amother

Lotus

Tue, Sep 26 2023, 1:38 pm

My son slept over at a friend while in a pull up, similar age. If she is comfortable, have her put it in a bag in the morning... but just expect it to come home, as she might not have an opportunity to throw it out discreetly.
I would discuss it with her - her choice. Get picked up late, or take the chance....

amother

Mistyrose

Tue, Sep 26 2023, 1:41 pm

I know this isn’t the topic, but a class sleepover at 8 years old sounds like a disaster
For Many parents, that would be against family rules. I think you can pick her up.

amother

Thistle

Tue, Sep 26 2023, 3:21 pm

There’s medication she could take for the night so she doesn’t have an issue. It’s called desmopressin or DDAVP. Call your pediatrician and get her some and let her enjoy the party.

amother

Tulip ↓

Tue, Sep 26 2023, 3:52 pm

I have to add that the medication, if it works for your child, is so amazing. My son also wet the bed almost every night until 6/7 but refused to wear pull-ups. The pediatrician prescribed minirin. But it doesn't work for all kids. And a couple of times he had an accident even though he took the medication.

amother

Crimson

Tue, Sep 26 2023, 4:06 pm

amother Tulip wrote:

Off topic but is this med helpful for long term or just for one night?

Op, many parents would not feel comfortable sending their kid overnight especially now that we are iverly conscious in this generation about potential abuse. I'd pick up the kid before he/she actually goes to sleep and you probably won't be the only one.

amother

DarkGreen

Tue, Sep 26 2023, 4:29 pm

Go to your pediatrician. You can get a prescription for desmopressin. It is no big deal. Just use it when you need. My teen son still uses it for sleepovers and sleepaway camp. She will outgrow it.

amother

↑ Tulip

Tue, Sep 26 2023, 4:32 pm

The medicine can be used every night, if necessary. I had another child who used it for years. B"H that child has basically outgrown it.

amother

Snapdragon

Tue, Sep 26 2023, 5:47 pm

I think you should either send her and pick up after a few hours, or don't send at all. It isn't a good idea to send with a pull up because if anyone sees, kids can be harsh and have long memories and will not let it go.