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Forum -> Parenting our children
Disappointment = "you hate me"



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amother
OP


 

Post Wed, Sep 27 2023, 10:46 am
I'm at a loss. my 6 yr old is beloved and adored. now that he's growing up and being made more mature he doesnt know how to handle disappointment. he makes outlandish requests or even regular requests and if I say soon or no he goes into "because you hate me" mode. it's sad to see him this way.
idk if he's just trying to manipulate me or he really feels this way but how do I address it?
I tell him I love him all the time, I hug him and say I'm sorry you feel this way but it doesn't seem to be helping.
going on for a few weeks.
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Cressel




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 27 2023, 10:54 am
amother OP wrote:
I'm at a loss. my 6 yr old is beloved and adored. now that he's growing up and being made more mature he doesnt know how to handle disappointment. he makes outlandish requests or even regular requests and if I say soon or no he goes into "because you hate me" mode. it's sad to see him this way.
idk if he's just trying to manipulate me or he really feels this way but how do I address it?
I tell him I love him all the time, I hug him and say I'm sorry you feel this way but it doesn't seem to be helping.
going on for a few weeks.


I might not SEEM to be helping, and he may not seem like he's actively taking in the message that you actually love him, but thats because he's very upset at the moment and doesn't have the ability to show that he understands your love for him.

It may not appear to be making an immediate impact, and he might not be actively showing that he understands your love during these moments of anger and frustration.

However, as the years go by, all the times I've reassured him and expressed your love will have a positive impact on him.


Last edited by Cressel on Wed, Sep 27 2023, 12:07 pm; edited 1 time in total
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amother
Lightgreen


 

Post Wed, Sep 27 2023, 10:59 am
Talk to him about this at a time he isn't feeling this way. That sometimes parents need to say no and disappointment is normal. That a no is for his benefit, and proof of your love just as much as a yes.
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amother
OP


 

Post Wed, Sep 27 2023, 11:29 am
you guys are so smart. thank you for the tip and perspective.
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amother
Pansy


 

Post Wed, Sep 27 2023, 12:06 pm
Talk to him when he is not feeling that way. Tell him about time either your parents or Hashem gave you a no, but you still know they loved you and had your back and how it turned out better than you would have expected and it was to your benefit.
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